MAKING IT OKAY TO MAKE MISTAKES

Without an understanding of the five skills of positive parenting and the importance of making it okay to make mistakes, shame and punishment have been the only tools parents had to control and protect their children. Parents thought that too much praise weakened self-esteem and made children egotistical. They believed that if they did not punish their children for their mistakes, then their children could not learn right from wrong. While these notions are clearly outdated and abusive today, there was a time when they were the only tools that would work.

In putting the new ideas of positive parenting into practice, it is important to remember that parents make mistakes, too. Our children are incredibly adaptable; they have within themselves the power to adapt and be all they can be regardless of a parent’s mistakes. Life is a process of making mistakes and encountering the mistakes of others. It is through this very process that our children can become all that they can be.

If you recognize ways that you have wounded your children, instead of feeling guilty, forgive yourself, as you would have your children forgive themselves for their mistakes. Remember that you are always doing your best with the resources that you have. Be careful not to beat yourself up with this information. Instead, be happy that you now have a new and better approach than what was given to you.

Instead of wasting energy blaming your parents for their mistakes, forgive your parents, as you would want your kids to forgive you, and use that energy to continue your research into being a better parent. Use Children Are from Heaven as a resource you can return to again and again. Take parenting workshops and create a parents’ support group to work with other parents using this positive-parenting approach. As you take time to move through your learning curve, you will automatically become more accepting of your child’s unique learning curve as well.