It’s Possible the Mountain Doesn’t Exist

for my uncle Bobby

They’re going to tell you the gray obscures a mountain. The largest one in North America. They’re going to tell you a height. Statistics. Granite. Basalt. They’re going to tell you four guys walked up it with some rope and a bag of donuts in 1913. They’re going to tell you this was crazy.

You’re going to think they’re crazy. There’s no mountain. Only gray clouds, only words describing a mountain printed on a platform designed for you to see a mountain that you cannot see today.

It’s there. It’s been there. It’s definitely there. Believe us, they say, it’s beautiful.

You will begin to suspect the Glade Mountain Fresh can you saw in the bathroom on the train from which you could also not see the mountain is part of a scam.

Don’t worry, even if you saw it, your camera would have shrunk it. And when you showed the photo to your friends back home, you’d say It looks bigger than this.

Believe me, you would have been disappointed. Almost as disappointed as you are right now.