This MEMOIR IS MY attempt to describe the events that I experienced during my service in Afghanistan in the fall of 2001. The feelings of pride in my colleagues, my Agency, and my country that these events engendered motivated me to begin this project and were a sustaining force throughout. My decision to write this story was also no doubt influenced by the fact that my experience in Afghanistan was the high point of my CIA career and the greatest adventure of my life. I appreciated this even as I lived it, and neither the passage of time nor subsequent events have changed my feelings.
As someone whose career often involved a tremendous amount of writing, and having more recently authored a novel, the extraordinary events I experienced firsthand provided material that was hard for anyone considering themself a writer to ignore. Nonetheless, I did just that for several years, even though I had drafted a lengthy summary of the key events soon after returning home. This recollection eventually would serve as the backbone of the memoir.
I understand that a memoir at its best is a great sharing, and at its worst, a great effort in self-promotion. My goal was the first: to share, to the extent possible within the bounds of national security, the personal story that I lived in 2001 beginning with the terrorist attacks on September 11th carrying through to the fall of Kandahar on December 7th. I believe I have accomplished that goal. Still, because I did write about myself I could not help but worry that my story might be judged as self-promotion—something I have witnessed in the professional world all too often. This concern bothered me a great deal, and in fact delayed me from pursuing publication of the memoir. Over time, however, and after reading the memoirs of other writers, I concluded there just is no good way to write a memoir without embedding oneself, the writer, into the story. It wouldn’t be a memoir, otherwise.
Ultimately, I overcame my misgivings because I believed that the story was important and shed light on the early days of what is often referred to as “the war on terror.” While I still read references to this period as being during “the American invasion of Afghanistan,” one of the things that I hope this memoir makes clear is that there never was an American invasion of Afghanistan, in 2001 or after. I even considered titling this book “A Memoir of the Invasion that Wasn’t” just to make that point up front. Yes, there was American military involvement in Afghanistan in 2001, but a handful of small, combined CIA-Special Forces teams scattered across Afghanistan working with resistance fighters, even when supported by U.S. air power, does not an invasion make. In fact, the most significant and usually overlooked aspect of the overthrow of the Taliban government and the smashing of al-Qa’ida fighters in the country in 2001 was that it was not achieved, or ever intended to be achieved, by U.S. forces storming enemy strongholds. Instead, it was achieved by Afghan-Muslims, who with U.S. support carried the day on the ground in the fight against terror and tyranny.
For privacy and personal security reasons, when I refer to others in the book who were with me or otherwise part of my story I usually refer to them by their true first name only, though in a couple of cases I use alias names to designate individuals. Also, in a few instances I refer to persons by their positions only. Finally, there are a couple of other instances where I use the true first and last names. In those cases, the persons in question are already public figures due to positions they have held or books they have authored. For these reasons, I trust readers will understand why the publisher and I agreed to omit an index for this work.
Regarding dialogue, while I strove to reflect the conversations as accurately as possible, because I had no means or reason to record these conversations when they happened, all dialogue, even when enclosed in quotation marks, should be taken only as approximations of the conversations or statements represented. The quotation marks are used for writing convention only.
As noted in the statement in the front of this book, which is required to be included in any publication written by a current or former CIA officer, the contents of this memoir were reviewed by the CIA’s Publication Review Board (PRB) to insure no classified information is contained herein. My experience in getting this publication approved was generally not difficult, with only a few points of contention regarding the content I proposed to include. I believe the relatively problem-free process was due to the fair review the material was given, and because I tried to ensure there was no information in the manuscript the PRB would likely disallow on a security basis.
The story that follows is my story as I experienced it. It is largely based on my memory of the events I lived through. My goal was to keep my writing as close as possible to what I personally saw, felt, said, heard, thought, or believed. To my mind these are the key elements of a true memoir. This is not an academic study and should not be considered as such. However, before retiring, I did have the opportunity to read the CIA’s official, classified history of the Agency teams operating in Afghanistan in 2001, and therefore I was able to ensure that my telling of the story of Foxtrot team—the team that I led from start to finish—is historically accurate.
During the time frame covered in the book, in addition to Foxtrot team, there were six other CIA teams in Afghanistan, five of which were located in the northern half of the country. My focus was on Foxtrot team, although I do include some information about Echo team, with which I was briefly associated and which like Foxtrot operated in the south. The other teams, to which I make only fleeting reference in the book, all performed valiant service for their country and were made up of great Americans, but their stories are their own to tell, should they choose to do so.