After the morning services, James joined some other men outside and stood in the open carriage shed talking to Charley Byler. The sky looked as if it was going to rain. Church elders, married men and visitors were already seated in the chair shop, being served by the women. James usually waited until the second seating so that he could eat with his younger friends. Charley was telling him and the others about a new driving mare that he’d bought but James was only half listening.
Mari hadn’t come to church with Sara and Ellie. Sara had explained that Mari hadn’t been feeling well. James had been concerned and tempted to go check on her, but then had thought better of it. He could only imagine what Mattie would have to say. And Sara had assured him it was nothing for him to worry about. But then Mari had appeared, just as service began. Had she really just been feeling poorly, then felt better and decided to come after all, or was she experiencing spiritual doubts? When James first returned, even though he knew it was right for him, it still wasn’t easy.
“James?”
He looked to see Mattie standing apart from the group of men. “Could I speak to you?”
She had one of the twins in her arms. Presumably, one of the other women had the other infant and the two older boys. That was the thing about community. A mother of young children could always count on help at any gathering. Relatives, friends and neighbors were always prepared to care for hungry, tired or rambunctious kids.
“Mattie looks like someone plucked the feathers off her favorite setting hen,” Charley said, elbowing James playfully in the side.
James chuckled as he walked to meet her. But Charley was right. He could see by her strained face that she was upset. He wondered if one of the boys had misbehaved. “Something wrong?” he asked.
She motioned toward their buggy on the far side of the yard. Drops of rain sprinkled across his face. “I need to talk to you. Privately.”
He glanced around. There were men in the barn, teenagers near the back of the house, women walking between the house and the building that housed the chair shop and factory. “Too cold out here in the yard for the baby,” James said, taking the infant from her. The child was bundled in blankets, but the wind had turned raw. “Wait,” he said. “Over there.” He led the way to a toolshed. Inside, it was sheltered against the weather. He closed the door behind them. “Now, what’s so important that—”
“I’ve been talking to Mari Troyer,” she interrupted. He could barely see her face in the shadowy shed, but her posture was stiff, and he could almost feel the heat of her anger. “She said that someone approached Sara about a match for her. With you. When were you going to tell me? After the banns were read?”
He looked at her in disbelief and shook his head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You know how I feel about this. I like Mari, but she’s not right for you. Marriage is all about families. And if you marry her, you could tear our family apart.” She gazed up at him, her eyes teary. “Are you willing to risk that?”
James was caught between feeling bad that Mattie was so upset and a strange excitement. Someone thought he and Mari should court? Who? Who would go to the matchmaker without telling him? It didn’t make sense. Mari wasn’t even a member of the church yet. Anyone who knew him well enough to know he secretly carried feelings for Mari would know he would never marry outside the church. He gazed down at his sister. “You’re telling me that Mari told you that? You must have misunderstood.”
“Ne, she told me not ten minutes ago. There’s no misunderstanding. Didn’t I warn you about this? I knew you were becoming too involved with her and her son. Was it you, James? Did you ask Sara to arrange a marriage?”
Still stunned, he stared back at her. “It’s news to me,” he said. “Who would be making a match for me?”
“I suppose she could have been telling an untruth, but she seemed sincere. She said that she’d refused the match. I don’t know what to think. Why would she say such a thing, if it isn’t true?”
Mari refused? His heart sank. “I can’t say it any plainer, Mattie. I haven’t proposed marriage to anyone. And I certainly didn’t go to Sara.”
The baby started to whimper, and he passed him back to Mattie.
“So, you didn’t ask Sara to arrange a match between you and Mari?”
“No, I didn’t.”
She hesitated. “I saw you watching her during service.”
He didn’t reply. He just stood there.
“I thought... I’m sorry, brother. I was hurt by the thought that you might ask—”
“I just told you. I didn’t.”
Mattie sighed. “I’m sorry.” She reached out with one hand and squeezed his arm. “I know you think I’m an interfering busybody. But you mean so much to me, to my children. I couldn’t bear to see you make such a mistake.”
He gazed out into the barnyard. He didn’t know why he was upset. Mari had told him they were just friends. Anything he had read into their relationship was just his own wishful thinking. “I need to straighten this out,” he told his sister.
“Ya, go to Sara. If Mari wasn’t honest with me, you should know it.”
“No, Sara’s not who I need to talk to.”
* * *
James found Mari in the reception area of the chair shop. She and Rebecca were carrying large pitchers of apple cider to the main showroom where the midday meal was being served. He stepped in front of her. “I have to talk to you.”
“In a few minutes?” Mari asked, her mind seeming elsewhere. “Right now I have to—”
“Now,” James insisted. He took the pitcher from her and set it down on a table that held wood-stain color charts. “Please.”
“I’ll come back for it,” Rebecca told Mari. She took one look at James and hurried off.
James took Mari’s hand. “Come with me.” Before she could protest, he led her through an office door and closed it behind them.
The room held a desk, a filing cabinet and several chairs. The outside wall was now taken up with a large window that opened on the yard. Although he didn’t turn on a light, they could clearly see people walking past the window. The thought passed his mind that they could also see him and Mari. He didn’t care.
“What is it?” Mari asked. “Has—”
Again, he cut her off. “Mattie said that you told her that someone asked Sara to arrange a match between you and me. Is that true?”
Mari stared up at him, wishing the floor would open up and swallow her. She wanted to look away, but she didn’t.
“Is it true?” he repeated.
She couldn’t tell if he was angry or hurt, but he was clearly upset. “Yes. Sara came to me and said so. She wouldn’t say who had asked her.”
“But you refused?”
Her mouth went dry. She could only nod.
“Why, Mari?” When she didn’t answer, he continued, “Is it because you’re not staying here? Because you want to take Zachary and go back to the English?”
“No.” She shook her head again. “That’s not what I want,” she whispered. “I wasn’t sure before, but I’m sure now. I belong here.”
He took hold of her shoulders. His touch was gentle but firm. She sensed that if she pulled away, he wouldn’t stop her, but she couldn’t take a step. She could feel that there was something real between them, almost as solid as if she could see and taste it.
“I need you to be honest with me. Did you say no because you think of me as only a friend?” he demanded, his eyes searching her. “That you...” He stopped and started again. “That you don’t see me any other way? That you could never see me as anything more than a friend?”
Mari didn’t know what to say. If she told him she saw him as only a friend, it would be over. She wouldn’t have to hear him tell her she’d been right in her decision. But there was something about the way he was looking at her that made her think something more was going on between them. The barest hint of possibility made her brave. “No,” she whispered. “That isn’t why I said no. But you said we were just friends. You said it over and over again.”
“Because you said we were just friends. I knew within days, hours, maybe minutes of meeting you that my feelings for you were more.”
Mari held her breath. They were practically in a fishbowl; anyone outside could see them standing so close, gazing into each other’s eyes, but she couldn’t move away from him. “I don’t know what I want,” she managed.
“I know what I want. I want you to stay in Seven Poplars,” he said quietly. “I want you to be baptized into our faith, and I want us to walk out together. And if this is what I think it is, what I feel in my heart, I want you to be my wife.”
She began to tremble. Tears clouded her eyes. “You want to marry me?” she murmured huskily. “You want to be Zachary’s father?”
“With all my heart,” he assured her. “I want to be your husband and Zachary’s father. But do you feel the same? You have to be absolutely honest here. Don’t worry about hurting my feelings.” He took a deep breath. “Are you willing to give us a chance to find out if we’re meant to be together...as a family?”
“Yes,” she answered. “Yes, I think I...” She looked down and then back up at him again. “If I could do anything, it would be marry you, love you.”
He took both of her hands in his.
“But...I need time,” Mari went on. “And that’s what I told Sara. It wasn’t that I didn’t...” The words stuck in her throat. “It isn’t you I’m not sure of. It’s me. I have to know that I’m coming back to the church because it’s what God wants me to do, not just because...because I think I love you.” Suddenly, she became aware of a face close to the outside of the window. “James, someone’s—”
“It’s Martha.” He looked from the window back to Mari again. “And I think we should give her something to see.” James pulled Mari against him, tipped her chin with gentle fingers and kissed her full on the mouth.