That night at dinner, Rall makes an appearance. He passes through the café on his way to Portia’s office. I assume she normally goes up to him since this is the first time I’ve seen him down from his high perch.
He doesn’t look at any of us, but I know why he’s making his presence known. I haven’t snitched on anyone yet.
Does he really think I’m going to have something for him immediately?
I stiffen as the door opens and then shuts. He’s inside Portia’s office. The warden isn’t going to tell her about our arrangement, is he? I like Portia even if she frightens me a little. The last thing I want is for her to think badly of me. She will if I snitch, but I don’t really have a choice. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. That’s one of those human expressions that I never really understood into now. Just like out of the frying pan and into the fire. Yes, that one definitely fits my current situation so much more.
Hmm. I wonder if I can use the snitching to my advantage. Will I be able to use that as an excuse to wander about the other floors? Then I could search for Sophie! But no. The point of being a snitch is to be sneaky, and I’m not supposed to let anyone know about it.
Azorra is so talkative that I don't have to say much. The hellhounds, Nora, and Honorox aren't here. Too busy protecting the prison, I guess. They'll need to eat at some point, though.
Illumine. No way does he do anything worthy of snitching. He’s been here so long, and he’s been nothing but kind to me.
Castiel. Ugh. Too bad I can’t just snitch on him. I can’t help wondering what makes Castiel so angry, so sharp. There has to be a reason why an angel would act as he does.
Druiz. No. I can't risk doing anything that will permanently damage or ruin Sequoia's life and her hopes for her future. Even if I see the ogre do something out of turn, I won't report him.
Erasos. I haven’t had much interaction with the centaur at all. I guess if I have to turn someone in, he’ll be one I wouldn’t feel too guilty about. But only if I see him do something wrong. I’m not going to tell the warden something that isn’t true even if I could lie.
Samuel. He’s pretty much a typical angel, what you would expect from one. It’s doubtful he’ll do something wrong.
Nora. She's on that task force, so I don't think I'll be seeing much of her for the foreseeable future, which isn't a good thing. I need us to be friends again and not just for Sequoia's sake, either. I miss having the werewolf as a friend.
Honorox. We spoke my first day here, and he seems really friendly. Ever since, though, we haven’t talked all that much. Still, I don’t want to turn against the minotaur.
The hellhounds. I don't know them all that well. To be honest, they kind of scare me. I can see the appeal of having hellhounds as guards to a magical prison. They serve as a reminder that those imprisoned are on the wrong path. If they continue to do wrong and commit crimes, they'll end up in a place far worse than Magical Prison. They'll end up executed and go to Hell.
So. Maybe Erasos, but even that doesn’t sit well with me. Why should I have to watch and wait and hope that the centaur makes a mistake?
“You aren’t eating,” Azorra points out.
“I’m sorry. I just have a lot on the brain.”
“Anything you want to talk about?”
"Not really. I can't even sort out my thoughts to make any sense, so you'll just think I'm crazy if I tell you."
The gargoyle laughs. “All right then. I’ll shut up and leave you to your confusing thoughts.”
I grin, and a rush of warmth floods me. “Thank you for understanding and not pushing me. Sometimes, a girl just needs to think.”
“I respect that.” She stands with a groan and stretches. “Do you think they’ll mind if I step outside and fly a bit? My wings are desperate to be stretched. I never feel so free as when I’m flying.”
“I don’t know.” I bite my lower lip. “I’m not sure if it’s allowed.”
“If what’s allowed?” Illumine asks.
The phoenix finishes stacking his plate on top of the dirty pile. I wonder if the cook cleans the dishes or if there’s another person who washes them. I’ve been here for some time now, and there are still aspects to this prison that I know nothing about. Maybe I should seek out the cook. Not that I think he or she will be able to help me with Sophie, but because dinner tonight—some kind of seafood dish in a rich, creamy sauce—is absolutely delicious. This is the first time I’ve helped myself to seconds, and I’ve been debating getting a little bit more.
“Do you know if I can leave and stretch out my wings and fly a bit?” Azorra asks.
Illumine frowns at me. “Yes. Not now. At night you can. Five minutes only.”
By the breeze, he thinks I should’ve known that. It’s good to learn this, though.
“Thanks,” Azorra says cheerfully, oblivious to my worry about another strike against me. “My wings can hold out a little longer.”
She waves and leaves, but we have some time yet, so I remain put. Illumine is watching me, and I try not to be freaked out. My mind is racing, and I think back to when I saw him before I broke into the prison, when I was watching it. There used to be so much more activity with people coming and going. I assumed them all to be guards, but maybe some were trainees. Still, I’m sure I saw Illumine a few times throughout that period, and some of the others, yet none of us have been leaving.
Why?
Illumine claims the seat Azorra vacated. “You’re thinking hard.”
“Just about the protocol changing,” I say slowly, hoping I’m right. “We used to be able to leave more.”
Illumine eyes me, and I hold my breath. After a moment, he slowly nods. “It must be harder for those of you with family.”
I tilt my head to the side. “You make it sound like you don’t have family,” I say before inwardly wincing. Sequoia has to know about his family.
But he just hangs his head. "I don't like to talk about my family."
“But you come from a family of phoenixes, right? They can’t be…” I flinch and hang my head. “I have a habit of saying things without thinking first.”
“And when you can’t lie, that’s a double-edged sword.” Illumine gives me a ghost of a smile. “Yes, I have parents. Yes, they’re alive. It’s not often that phoenixes are born. Despite our rarely dying, we’re a dying breed.”
“How can a phoenix die?” I ask curiously.
“Are you planning on killing me?” he asks.
I laugh and wave my hand. “Of course not.”
But he’s no longer smiling.
I gape at him. “I was just curious. I swear I don’t want to hurt you. I really don’t know how to talk to you.”
“You’re just trying to talk to me about a subject that is highly personal.”
“We can talk about something else,” I offer.
“The policy changing. Do you know why it did?”
I hesitate and then shake my head, hoping that’s safe because why would he be asking this unless there’s a chance Sequoia is ignorant too?
“Because of you.”
“The siren,” I mumble. “But why?”
"To try to make sure no one learns about any of the security fails within the prison. If we're here more, ideally, there will be fewer incidents and also less chance for one of us to make a mistake and tell someone something they shouldn't know."
I nod slowly. The siren incident must’ve happened very shortly before I took over Sequoia’s position. I hope she’s enjoying her vacation.
With a start, I realize we’re the only ones still here. I bite my lower lip. A part of me wants to come right out and tell Illumine about my being forced to be a snitch, but what would that accomplish? Nothing. In fact, it would only make things worse.
Still, I feel as if the weight of my secrets, all of them, are going to crush me. The warden is counting on me to turn against my coworkers. How does that make for a healthy work environment? At least Castiel didn’t eat with us. He grabbed his food and took it with him to eat somewhere else. That suits me just fine, but it’s also wrong. He should be able to eat here with everyone else.
I’ve messed up in so many ways since I’ve come here. It’s a miracle I haven’t been caught.
It’s also a nightmare considering I don’t know where Sophie is and I’m no closer to finding the tunnel or securing another way out for us.
“I’m a failure,” I mumble.
“You aren’t. If you were, you would’ve been fired. As many guards are fired as guards quit.” Illumine stands. “But if we continue to take too long to eat, we will be punished.”
“Punished?” I ask, confused. “We aren’t prisoners here.”
“Aren’t we?”
Without another word, he flies away.
Yes, I’ve felt that way many times since I’ve started here, that I’m a prisoner too, but for another guard to feel that way… the guard who has been here the longest…
Five minutes. We’re allowed to leave for five minutes each night to fly. The prisoners don’t get a second outside of their cells.
And maybe a night every two weeks? Three? I think I’m still supposed to have a night off eventually. Maybe with the possible upcoming attack, we’ll have to stay here longer. That suits me just fine. I don’t want to leave without Sophie unless I absolutely have to.
But the warden…
I hang my head and walk to my floor. My wings drop, my shoulders slump, and I feel as if I am walking toward my death. This place is getting to me.
That night, I can’t sleep. The five minutes of flying had been utterly perfect. I meditated, and Azorra singing as she flies doesn’t distract me at all.
But those perfect minutes of freedom feel like an ultimate betrayal to Sophie. She’s here in the prison somewhere, trapped, unable to fly free. Why should I take advantage of those five minutes when she can’t have even one second to herself?
I toss and turn, unable to sleep. Eventually, the thought occurs to me that a shower might help to settle my nerves so that I can finally rest.
The water pounds my body, and I try to let the tension and stress wash down the drain with the soapy water, but I can’t. I’m too uptight.
After I dry and get dressed, I hear the faint clomping of hooves. Erasos. Is he awake too? What is he up to?
I start to follow the sounds when I hear faint voices. For a moment, I pause. The clomping sounds rhythmic, like the centaur’s pacing. Up and down a cell block or in his room?
The one voice, though, isn't Erasos. Someone else is talking.
Ignoring the centaur, I fly down the stairs and listen hard. The voices are coming from the sixth floor.
“I can’t believe you’re back here again.” A male voice. Familiar.
“You aren’t allowed to leave right now, so I thought…” Female. Unfamiliar.
“It’s stupid.”
“Is it, though?”
I risk taking a peek and confirm my suspicions.
Samuel is talking to a prisoner. He reaches through the cell and touches her.
“How can love be stupid?” she murmurs.
I swallow hard. He’s in love with a prisoner. She specifically committed a crime to be placed in a cell. Who is she?
“Athena,” he whispers, the name coming from his lips like a soft caress.
My stomach twists into knots as I fly back to my room. I’m not the only guard who is overly invested in a prisoner.
Can I really turn in Samuel for being guilty of the sin of love?