10
I take a deep breath and dry my eyes. I’m a mess. I’m glad I did the show because getting press for Good Night, Good Night isn’t just good for Dex… it’s good for me and Spencer. It’s still amazing to me that they would pull up those pictures and start asking me about them.
I’m not worried about Spencer seeing them, I doubt he’d care… but I’m glad he’s not around to watch The Latest Show because I know he wouldn’t be pleased with how Vince went after me.
My phone rings in my purse and I take it out. I’m surprised to see that it’s actually Brian, my agent, who is calling me. We haven’t talked since I got the part in Day One.
“Hello?”
“Amy… how… are you okay?”
“Yeah… why?”
“You sound like you were crying.”
“It’s… I’m okay, thanks.”
“I just wanted to call you and find out how everything is going on set.”
I take a deep breath and roll down my window to get some fresh air while I’m sitting in the parking lot.
“It’s going fine,” I say.
“Yeah?”
“You saw the pictures.”
“Uh… yeah,” Brian says.
“Apparently, so has everyone else.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was just on The Latest Show and they put the pictures up on the screen and Vince started to grill me about them.”
“Ugh… Amy… I’m so sorry.”
“Whatever… it is what it is. I’m just feeling very tired of all the mean and rude people here. It’s getting old.”
Brian doesn’t say anything right away, but I can hear him breathing on the other end of the line.
“I’ll call them and give them a piece of my mind. I’m sorry, Amy… I really am.”
“Thanks, Brian.”
I wasn’t sure that I was going to do anything, other than refuse to go on the show ever again if they asked me… but I’d rather have Brian deal with it and then I don’t have to think about it. It would be nice to just put that whole experience behind me.
“Of course, Amy… this is why I’m your agent… to take care of this kind of stuff.”
“I’m glad because I’m not sure what to do.”
“Don’t you worry… and I’m going to find whoever took those pictures of you.”
“Really? Will that do anything?”
“Well, there’s not really any legal ramifications… you were in a state park… but I have ways of making their life a little more difficult.”
I’m not sure I want to even know what he means by that. I have total faith that Brian will take care of it, he’s been nothing but stellar so far as my agent and I don’t foresee that ever changing.
“Okay… sounds good.”
“I’ll talk to you soon,” Brian says, “take care, Amy.”
“Thanks… talk to you soon.”
I end the call and set my phone down on the passenger seat. Talking to Brian made me feel somewhat better, but I’m still feeling a little angry about the whole thing.
I’m sure I’d feel better if I went back to Dex’s house and talked to him about it… at the same time I know he’s busy and has a ton on his plate—the last thing Dex needs is to be thinking about me and what the media is doing with my personal life.
Sitting in this parking lot isn’t doing me any good, either… so I start the engine and pull out onto the main road. I don’t have a destination in mind—I’m going to let the road take me where I need to go.
I just drive for a while, turning both left and right as I head down side streets. I slow the SUV as I reach a dead end. It’s possible to see the ocean from here, so I park and get out. The sun is starting to set over the ocean and the sky is a beautiful pink.
There’s a guardrail protecting drivers from plummeting over the edge of a small cliff and ending up in a development that has houses with beach front property. A few people are still walking up and down the sandy beach. I see one couple sitting and watching the sunset and it makes me long for Spencer.
I sit down on the guardrail and clear my mind as I watch the last rays of sun dip below the waves. Sunsets are stunning, especially here, but it’s one of those things that I never think about sitting and watching. Life seems to always demand my attention elsewhere and tonight is no different. I really should be at home right now, having dinner with Rose and Dex… and resting up for tomorrow, but I feel like I still need some time to myself for no other reason than to figure out what I’m going to do about my mom.
Nothing seems real right now.
I’m still sitting on the guardrail once the sun has fully set. My problems won’t seem so real as long as I’m nothing facing them.
A light breeze picks up, sending a chill through me. I get up and walk back over to the SUV. I guess I should probably head back for no other reason than I’m starting to feel tired and I have a feeling Harriet is going to work us pretty hard tomorrow.
I’ve got no idea where I am right now, so I put Dex’s address in the GPS and it plots the route. Whoops… almost an hour to get back. I guess I was driving around for a lot longer than I realized. As I start to drive, the GPS guides me back to the highway.
There’s quite a bit of traffic on the highway. The GPS tries to reroute me, but I’d rather just wait it out and travel on more of a straight shot… and I’m not really looking forward to going home. Home… it’s not really my home. I love Dex, he’s amazing… but I’m starting to realize home is where my heart is, as cheesy as it seems, and that’s wherever Spencer is.
The traffic slows even more as I get closer to an exit. I look to the right and see the sign… and then the building in the distance, behind it. Metropolitan State Hospital. That’s where my mom is. I had no idea the GPS would take me right by it on the way back to Dex’s. Maybe this is some kind of sign. I sigh as I look back at the thousands of taillights in front of me.
I turn on my signal and pull onto the exit ramp.
Five minutes later I’m standing in front of the hospital doors, as I try to talk myself out of going inside. Is there anything good that can possibly come from me going in there? It’s hard to argue with the way I ended up here… a million things in my day could’ve gone differently and I wouldn’t be standing here right now.
I step forward and walk through the doors. There’s a welcome desk just inside the entrance with a woman in scrubs sitting behind it.
“Hi,” I say, as I walk up to the counter.
“Hello… how can I help you?”
“I… I was hoping to see a patient.”
She spins around in her chair and looks at the clock on the wall.
“Sorry, visiting hours ended five minutes ago.”
“Really?”
“Yeah… nothing I can do.”
“Oh… that sucks because I live like an hour away. My mom was arrested and they sent her here… so I haven’t been able to see her because I work all the time.”
“What’s her last name?”
“Kendall.”
The woman nods and types my mom’s name into her computer.
“Can I see some proof of your relationship? Do you have a driver’s license or something?”
“Sure.”
I take out my license and hand it over to her. This is the one time not having updated my name on my license has actually been helpful. She hands it back to me and I put it back into my wallet.
“As I said, visiting hours are over… but the doctor who evaluated your mom is still here. She might be able to take a few minutes and talk to you about what’s happening.”
“That would be great.”
“Let me check with her. You can take a seat over there… I’ll go talk to the doctor.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it.”
She gives me a quick smile before walking down the hallway on the right side of the counter. I sit down in one of the chairs and take my phone out of my purse. To my surprise, neither Dex nor Rose has texted to see if I’m going to be home for dinner.
I resist the urge to text Spencer and tell him what happened… more for his good than my own. Talking him would make me feel better, I’m sure of it, but it would probably distract him and detract from his performance. That’s something that would cause me more strife than dealing with this whole mess on my own.
“Miss?”
I look up from my phone and see the woman standing in the hallway, waving for me to follow. I drop my phone in my purse and walk over to her.
“Dr. Avery agreed to talk to you, but she only has about ten minutes.”
“That’s fine… thank you… I really appreciate it.”
“Of course.”
She stops and opens a door for me. I step inside the small office and move out of the way so she can close the door. There’s a woman sitting behind her desk, reading glasses low on her nose. She glances up at as she writes in the file in front of her on the desk. Dr. Avery lifts her hand just long enough to point at the chair opposite of her. I sit down and wait patiently for her to finish writing.
I’m actually kind of pleased that it turned out this way because I wasn’t mentally prepared to deal with my mom. Now, at least, I’ll have an idea of what they think is going on with her and I can figure out what to do next. I guess it makes me feel a little less guilty.
Dr. Avery sets her pen down, closes the folder and clears her throat.
“I’m Dr. Avery.”
“Amy.”
She nods slowly and then leans back in her chair. I’m tired, but the woman sitting across me looks completely run down. She has beautiful chestnut hair and a pretty face, but the dark circles under her eyes make me realize how hard her job must be. I imagine being any kind of doctor would be tough… but someone that deals with these kind of patients has my utmost respect.
“Your mother… she’s… an interesting case.”
“What do you mean?”
“Amy, do you have any history of mental illness in your family?”
“No… I don’t think so… why?”
“Has your mother been acting irrationally as of late?”
“Yes… I think so.”
“Can you tell me what makes you say that?”
Dr. Avery opens the file again and presses her pen to the paper as she waits for me to talk.
“She left me and my dad… and moved to L.A. with a guy she had just met. She was a school teacher and never didn’t anything crazy in her life… she was always just normal. It didn’t work out. She got mad at me and hit me… he called the cops and they broke up. She moved back to the town where I grew up and lured me back by telling me she had cancer, even though she was fine. I left after giving her some money, but she managed to blow it all and she made her way back here. When I refused to help her, she went a little nuts and I felt unsafe… so I called the cops. They ended up picking her up for robbing a convenience store.”
Dr. Avery nods as she continues to write in the file. She eventually stops and sets down her pen.
“Anything else you want to add?”
“No… that’s kind of it. I’m sure there’s more, but that’s the main stuff.”
“Well, I’m hesitant to make any formal announcement in regards to her condition and possible treatment. I’d like to talk to her tomorrow and run a few tests… and then go from there.”
“Okay. Do you need anything from me?”
“Just your phone number. I’ll call you when I file my official diagnosis and recommendation for treatment. Until then… there’s not really anything you can do. If you want, you can come back and visit her tomorrow.”
“I’m working the next five days in a row.”
She looks at me for a few seconds and then slowly nods.
“Fine. Just write your number on this pad of paper and I’ll call you as soon as I make a decision.”
Dr. Avery passes me a small pad of paper, along with a pen, and I write down my name and phone number.
“Thank you,” I say, as I stand up.
“You’re welcome. If you have any questions… our website has some good resources for families that are dealing with mental illness. I suggest you take a look there and write down any questions you have and I’ll do my best to answer them the next time we talk.”
“Okay.”
I walk out of the room and head back down the hallway. She seemed nice enough and very professional… but I was hoping to gain a little insight into what was happening with my mom. I guess there’s nothing I can do at this point other than wait for Dr. Avery to call me. My conscience is clear, which makes this little side trip worth it to me.
A terrible thought crosses my mind as I walk out of the building and toward the car. If there’s something wrong with her… if she’s mentally ill… does that mean I could develop the same thing when I’m older? Thousands of horrific images flash through my mind as I think about it. I feel so overwhelmed that I just want to scream and hit something.
I get in the SUV and take a few deep breaths before starting it. Thinking like that has made me sick to my stomach and I’m not sure what to do. I’m trying my hardest to push those thoughts out of my mind, but it’s not working.
I’m tired enough that I feel like I can’t stay away from the house any longer, as much as I’d rather just be alone with my thoughts. The house looks dark when I pull up and Gina’s car is gone… which isn’t that out of the ordinary considering it’s already nine.
I head inside and head to the kitchen—I haven’t eaten since this morning and I’m actually pretty hungry. As I head for the fridge, I see a pizza box on the table. I open the top and grab one of the remaining three slices. Apparently Dex and Rose already ate or are in the process of eating… it’s possible they’re in the screening room. I walk upstairs, eating my pizza as I go.
Voices carry down the hall as I reach the top of the stairs. I stop for a few seconds to listen, thinking at first that it’s Dex and Rose… but then it hits me—it’s the TV and it’s me on The Latest Show. Ugh. I’m definitely not going to go in there while Rose and Dex are watching it.
I go to my room and shut my door as quietly as possible. I sit down on my bed and kick off my shoes. Today is definitely a day that I’m looking forward to the end of. Tomorrow is going to be long and hard, but at least I can put today behind me and move forward.
My phone, which is still in my purse, starts to ring. I fish it out and see that it’s Brian calling me. I swipe my finger across the screen and hold the phone up to my ear.
“Hello?”
“Amy… it’s Brian.”
“Yeah… what’s up?”
“I just wanted to update you on the calls I made since we talked last.”
“Oh… okay.”
“I talked to a producer on The Latest Show… and he apologized for what happened, but I’m not so sure he was being genuine. I’m hesitant to suggest you ever go on the show again…but that’s up to you.”
“Thanks for doing that, Brian… I appreciate it.”
Brian clears his throat before continuing.
“Also… I made a couple of calls about who took the picture… but I haven’t heard anything back yet.”
“Oh… okay.”
“As soon as I hear anything, I’ll let you know. It’s a little unusual… just because most paparazzi sell the pictures, so there’s a paper trail… but I can’t find anything yet.”
I wrinkle my forehead. That’s kind of weird and doesn’t make sense, but I’m not going to pretend that I understand how any of that works.
“Thanks, Brian.”
“You’re welcome… hang in there… and I’ll call you soon.”
“I will.”
I end the call and set my phone down on my bed. The call from Brian made me feel a little better, but it’s going to take a while for me to get over everything that happened today. Dealing with my mom would have been one thing… the viral pictures just pushed me over the edge.
My phone lights up as a text comes in. I pick it up and read the text from Harriet.
Amy, just wanted to let you know we’re pushing out our start time until eleven tomorrow morning. We had a little bit of difficulty with the time on the permit and that was the earliest they would let us shoot.
That’s some of the best news I’ve heard all day. I write a response and hit send.
Thanks, I’ll see you tomorrow.
I set my phone on my nightstand and put my head down on my pillow. What a day. I close my eyes and I instantly start to drift off. My body isn’t as tired as most days… tonight it’s the emotional impact of everything else.
I really hope tomorrow will be a better day. It has to be.