Dirty Old Man

A few beers make his mood pugnacious,

his jokes and stories more salacious,

his eye for nymphets more rapacious,

with older women most ungracious;

his appetite for fat, voracious,

swells his manly gut capacious.

With piety somewhat audacious

he calls upon his saint, Ignatius,

“Save me a bed in Heaven so spacious

that it will hold a hundred geishas.”