Cade
I moved inside the gym just as a new song started playing. “River” by Bishop Briggs. Micah kneeled on the floor in front of the pole. He dipped down and arched back before he sprung to his feet and launched himself at the pole. Using his hands, he pulled his body up so he was upside down before letting go and freefalling. My heart leapt to my throat. But he caught himself easily, swinging so he was right side up, and hooked a knee around the pole to spin.
The way his body moved was synchronized with the song. A song I would never hear the same. From this moment, I would only imagine Micah dancing to it.
With his hands wrapped around the pole again, his muscles bunched and pulled as he straightened his arms all the way out and brought his lower half out from the pole to slowly—Holy motherfucking shit, the action was a slow and erotic hump to the metal.
He was outstanding.
Strong.
Beautiful.
Fucking hot.
My gut twisted. I’d known all this even before, and yet, I’d still been a bastard to him.
Clenching my jaw, I slowly stepped closer to where he lithely moved around the pole as if he was made to do this.
I rubbed at my aching chest as tears threatened.
How could I have been so hurtful to him?
Please let me work toward your forgiveness.
When I was close, I knelt and watched him work. He hadn’t sensed me or seen me, too lost in what he was doing.
I stared at his body as it moved in all different directions. There were a few times I had to bite down on my tongue when his tank rode up, giving me the full view of his smooth skin and hardened muscles.
Why had I fought this so hard?
Why had I let fear win over what people thought and my own worries of being with a guy? Shit, I’d never been in a relationship before, yet my forever was mere feet away. I wanted to do well for him, for us all, but I’d already fucked up.
When the song came to an end, and a new one didn’t play, Micah dropped to his feet on the mat with his back to me. He placed his hands on his waist and bent forward, breathing heavily.
Fear ripped at me. Would he see me and run?
A broken noise dropped from my lips. Micah spun at the sound and spotted me. He gripped his chest and backed up before dropping his gaze to the ground.
“Micah—”
“I-I’ll go.” He started for his bag.
“Please,” I whispered. He turned, tripped, and landed on his ass. Thank fuck the mat was still under him. His eyes widened, and I crawled toward him. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Don’t. Please.” His tone sounded broken, hurt, and it gutted me.
I did that to him. I made him sound that way.
I stopped, dropped my forehead to the mat, inches away from touching him. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness. Not after how I’ve been toward you. But, fuck, Micah… I never meant anything I’ve said. I never wanted to hurt you, but I couldn’t help it. That shit—and it was shit—just tumbled out in frustration.”
“Don’t,” he pleaded in a whisper.
“I’m so fucking sorry, dweeb. I really am. It’s…. I was scared. I—”
“Shut up. Please, shut up.” I lifted my head to see him scramble to his feet and take a step back. Panic and pain raw in his eyes.
Tears welled. He saw them and stilled.
“Don’t get rid of the bond,” I whispered.
“Stop,” he uttered, his own tears welling, but they fell down his rosy cheeks. He shook his head again and again. I inched forward on my knees.
“I’ll never treat you like I did. I regret, and always will until I die, how I’ve acted toward you.”
He made a pained sound in the back of his throat. “Just leave.”
“I can’t.”
“You can,” he yelled, choking back a sob.
As he wiped at his face, I crept closer until I was inches away from him on my knees. He looked down at me, biting his trembling bottom lip as more tears formed and fell.
I shook my head. “I can’t leave because I’m so fucking angry at myself for hurting you like I did.”
“Cade—” He cut himself off and looked away. “You don’t mean this. It’s the bond talking.”
“It’s not,” I clipped, and winced when Micah went to take a step back, but I quickly gripped the back of his thighs and pressed my forehead to his stomach. He tensed, frozen like a statue. “I’ve lied this whole time, and I promise it’s not the bond talking. The first time I saw you, you took my breath away. I thought, how could a guy so small and timid be so fucking good-looking with blue hair. It wasn’t fair. Then I found out you were my mate, and it blew my mind. I hated the idea of changing my life.” He tried to back away with another broken noise, but I held on. “I fucked up, Micah. I was scared to care for you because I worried I wouldn’t do it right. But I want to try. I—”
“No. No, no, no.” He shoved at my shoulders, but I didn’t move, and his struggles seemed gentle. It gave me a small glimmer of hope. “Don’t do this. Don’t lie. Don’t give in to a bond you don’t want. A bond you’re disgusted by.”
I slid my hands up to his lower back, holding him tight. He stilled again with his hands pressing into my shoulders, but not pushing. I looked up as he dropped his gaze to mine. Resting my chin to his belly, I said, “I’m not disgusted by it. I never could be.”
He whimpered, closed his eyes, and shook his head.
“Micah, would I press myself against you? Would I hold you like I am if I was? I’ve had to fight with myself to not touch you like I’ve wanted. I can’t and won’t ask for forgiveness because I really don’t deserve it. But will you let me try and make things right?”
He opened his eyes and stared off to the wall. His jaw clenched. “It’s the bond talking. Not you.”
“It’s not.” Swiftly, I stood and picked Micah up in my arms. His legs automatically wrapped around my hips, his arms around my neck. When it dawned on him, he tried to get down, but I cupped his ass and held him close. I pressed my forehead to his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Micah. So goddamn sorry. Christ, I was a prick. An asshole. I didn’t mean anything I said. I promise this is all me.” I lifted my head. Micah’s eyes were blown wide, and his chest heaved with rapid breaths. “It’s me. Not the bond. Me.” My gaze flicked down to his lips as he licked them. A groan rumbled out. His eyes widened even more.
“T-This can’t be real,” he murmured.
“It is very real.”
“You can’t, um, switch, just like this.”
Leaving one arm cupping his ass, I threaded my fingers through the back of his hair. “I can when the fear of losing you wins out and wakes me up. I want this bond, Micah. Fate was right to put us together.”
“No, you’re wrong.” He pushed at my shoulders halfheartedly.
A pained moan escaped me. He stilled as I hugged him close. Dropping my forehead to his shoulder once again, I uttered, “I’ll say sorry for the rest of our lives. I’ll tell you how wrong I was, and how cruel, and beg for forgiveness, not that I want you to accept it, because I really don’t deserve it. But I promise you…. I promise on my life, my pack, family, that I want you as my bonded, Micah.”
Please believe me. Please trust I’ve woken up and accepted us.
“I’ll do anything to show you this is real, that you are mine as I am yours,” I added.
“Cade,” he whispered. “I-I can’t—”
“Please, dweeb, give me a chance.” Shit, did I fuck up by saying dweeb? He hadn’t reacted, and for me, when I’d called him dweeb, I’d meant it in a sweeter way. “I know I don’t deserve it, but I’ll do anything for a chance to prove myself to you. Fuck….” All the things I’d said and how I’d acted ran through my mind. Sighing, I pulled back and lowered him to his feet, taking a step back. Stuffing my hands in my jeans pockets, I nodded, eyes to the floor, gut clenching. “I’ve realized I really don’t deserve this chance. I was terrible to you.” I laughed without a show of humor. “No, I was worse than terrible. All I can give you is peace of mind. I’m sorry for, Christ, being forceful now. I want you to know you deserve all the happiness in the world, Micah. Zeke and Hyde have the perfect mate in you. Never underestimate your worth, because you’re a treasure.”
Grinding my teeth together, I pushed past the ache in my chest. I didn’t want to say the next words, but I knew I had to. “I’ll step back and leave you alone with Zeke and Hyde. I can never—” A grunt escaped me as my small mate launched himself at me, and he was in my arms once again with his face buried in my chest. I ran a hand up and down his back. “Micah?”
“Don’t.”
My gut danced. “Don’t what?”
“Cade….”
“Talk to me, Micah.”
“Y-You hurt me.”
My heart stopped. “I have.” I went to help him to his feet, but he clung to me.
He whimpered. “Don’t do it again.”
Stilling, I closed my eyes and came unstuck to cup the back of his neck. “Micah?”
He looked up at me, glaring with his red, tearstained eyes. “And don’t say you’ll step back.”
“I—” His mouth on mine shut me up. I groaned against his lips, and then they parted for me, for my first taste, and I fucking loved it. His hands fisted my hair when the kiss deepened, and I drank down his little moans.
I never knew kissing could be like this.
My whole body felt electrified, buzzing with need as a part of my heart… no, my soul broke off and connected with Micah’s.
When Micah rocked against me, a soft snarl ripped from my mouth into his, holding him tighter to me.
I broke the kiss, our breaths mingling together as I pressed my forehead against his.
“Christ, dweeb, that mouth will get you into trouble.”
What seemed like a surprised laugh escaped him. His face shot straight to red before he nuzzled it into my shoulder.
My heart felt light. My mind, body, and soul were at peace from accepting what I knew I never should have fought against.
Micah was mine.
“I’ll do everything I can to make sure I never fuck up.”
“Okay,” he whispered.
“I mean it, Micah. I was a fucking asshole idiot for how I treated you. I’ll get Zeke to burn me as punishment—”
A smack to the back of my head shut me up. “Don’t you dare.”
Grinning, I squeezed him to me. “All right.”
“I’m tired, Cade.” He rested heavily against me as if to prove his words. My gut tightened. I needed to take care of my mate.
The knowledge had my chest puffing, and I maneuvered him in my arms to carry him, bridal style, out of the gym.
If there were people about, I didn’t care. From this day forward, my mate would always come first.
“Then let’s get you to bed, dweeb.”
“Okay,” he uttered, resting his head to my shoulder and closing his eyes. I knew the exhaustion had been caused by me because I had sent him into an emotional breakdown.
How could he allow me close?
How could he be in my arms?
Simple. It was because he was more than anything I could be. He was sweet, kind, and had the strongest heart I’d ever known.
I didn’t deserve this.
I didn’t deserve him.
But I would try to.
As soon as I had Micah in bed, I would come back for his things, but I didn’t want to let him go to grab them now. I slipped through the doors and spotted Tanika off to the side.
She straightened from the wall, took in a sleeping Micah in my arms, and softly smiled at me. With a nod, she walked off, trusting me with her friend and my mate.
We still had a long way to go, but I would prove to everyone I was committed to his bond.
The halls were quiet, but there were some who still lingered. They all stared.
Becca was one of them. She approached, gaping.
“Cadey, what’s going on?”
A quiet snarl slipped free that had her stopping and Micah restlessly shifting in my arms. His head tipped up more to mine, his hand gripping my tee at my chest. Becca took another step closer until I pulled my attention to her.
“Cadey?”
I didn’t like her close. I didn’t like her seeing Micah in his shorts and tank. Most of all, I didn’t like the affectionate way she said my name.
She didn’t have a right to.
But it was my fault for allowing her to think she was more to me than a hookup.
I’d always known she’d only been with me for status. She wanted to be my chosen mate. To stand beside me and lord over the pack. But deep down, I knew she was too poisonous to rule at my side.
“Becca, step back, please. I need to get Micah to his room.”
A tick in her temple started, and she crossed her arms over her chest. What she didn’t do was listen to her superior’s order.
She tipped her chin toward Micah. “You’ve been different ever since he arrived.”
“You weren’t here when he arrived.”
“No. But women talk.”
Sighing, I shook my head. “I don’t have time for this right now, Becca. We’ll speak later.”
“Is he something to you?”
Through clenched teeth, I clipped, “Later, Becca.”
“I need to know if he’s a threat.” She laughed. “Not that I can believe it, since you love pussy so much. No one that weak and small could take your interest from me.”
“Enough,” I bit out. “Do not say another word regarding Micah.”
Her eyes widened. “Cadey, come on. I can deal with you sleeping with other women, but remember to treat me with respect if I am to be your—”
“You will be nothing to me. Micah is my bonded, and if you want to stay in the pack, you will treat him with the respect he deserves.”
A choked sound fell from her mouth. “You bonded? A guy?” She cackled. “Yeah, like that will last.”
Grinding my teeth together, I gently lifted Micah higher and stalked by her. If I didn’t leave, I’d say things in anger, and I was already so fucking pissed with what she’d said that it burned under my skin.
“Are you seriously going to accept him?” she called.
Pausing, I glanced over my shoulder. “Yes, Becca. I’ll always pick him over anyone. If I hear you’ve spread this news before I can tell the alpha and our pack, I’ll make you regret it.”
“Cadey…,” she called, but I ignored her and kept moving.
I made it to our suite without anyone else stopping me. Opening the door that was unlocked, thank God, I pushed it to and stepped in.
Zeke and Hyde jumped off the couch.
“What?” Hyde barked low.
“Is he okay?” Zeke demanded.
“Shh, he’s fine. Just tired.”
Zeke stepped closer. “Here, let me—”
I shifted Micah away from his grasp, and Zeke’s eyes widened as I shook my head and swallowed. “Not tonight.”
“What’s going on?” Zeke asked. Hyde grunted, wanting to know also. He crossed his arms over his chest, but his gaze was locked on his mate.
Our mate.
“Let me get him to bed, and I’ll explain.”
Zeke nodded, and Hyde tipped his chin up. They didn’t say anything, even when I took Micah to my room instead of theirs. When I laid him gently on my bed, he mumbled something under his breath, then curled onto his side and sighed.
My heart stumbled at seeing him in my bed.
A grin tugged at my lips. I pulled the blanket up over him and tucked it in around his back. A noise drew my gaze to the doorway where Zeke and Hyde stood. Zeke was fucking beaming. Hyde had a smug smile. They wouldn’t be happy soon when I told them I’d been an ass to our mate.
I stalked their way and softly closed my door after me. Turning, I scrubbed a hand over my face. “I fucked up.”
Both of them tensed. But it was Hyde who growled, “How?”
My gut clenched. “I treated Micah like shit. Called him pathetic—” Hyde snarled, his wolf flashing in his eyes. Zeke grabbed him.
“Let him explain.”
“Micah told me he knew we were mates. He said he understood why I wouldn’t want him, that he was going to see Sebastian about destroying the connection, and then he left.” Remembering it brought bile to my throat. I fucking hated I’d done that. I rubbed at my chest. “I’ve always hated how I was with him, but I couldn’t seem to stop. It wasn’t until he told me he would cut ties with me to make me happy that I knew I’d messed up more than I thought.”
“You’ve accepted him,” Zeke whispered.
Nodding, I smiled softly. “I have. I begged for forgiveness, but I also told him I don’t want it because I don’t deserve him.”
“You don’t,” Hyde bit out.
“I know.” Glancing over my shoulder toward my bedroom, I sighed. “I’m going to make it up to him. I will.” Looking back to them, I added, “There was something he said that didn’t sit right.”
“What’s that?” Zeke asked.
“I think he’s concerned he’s not worthy of all of us—”
“Bullshit.” Hyde pointed toward my room. “He’s everything.”
Zeke hummed, letting go of Hyde and rubbing at the back of his neck. “I had a feeling he’s… insecure. I’m sure it has to do with his past.”
“Get him to understand,” Hyde said roughly.
I nodded. “We will get him to understand he’s important and worthy.”
Hyde’s wolf flashed again at me. “You done?”
“Yes. He’s mine.”
“Ours,” Zeke quickly said.
Smiling, I nodded. “Yeah, ours. But it doesn’t mean it’ll be clear sailing, I know that, and I definitely do not want to see your two naked dicks.” Micah’s was the only one I was interested in.
Holy fucking shit. All right, I went there and wouldn’t go back because I did want to see Micah naked, under and over me.
Zeke laughed, and even Hyde smirked as he pulled Zeke into him. “Ours are better.”
Snorting, I shook my head. “I’ll take your word for it.”
Christ, I honestly felt lighter than I had in a long time, and it happened the moment I got over myself and accepted Micah. Honestly, how could I not have? He was shy, dweeby, which had me grinning to myself, sexy, cute, smart, and a million other things I could have listed but didn’t want to because I needed to get back to his side.
“I’m going to bed.”
“You should know when Micah sleeps, it’s like the dead. Nothing will wake him until he’s ready. Also, careful you don’t squish him with your lumberjack body since you’re not used to sleeping beside someone all night.”
Turning, I flipped him off over my shoulder, but still, I couldn’t stop the grin. “By the way, one of you needs to go to the south gym to grab Micah’s things.” I slipped into my bedroom before they complained and made my way over to the other side of the bed. After taking off my jeans and tee, I got into bed under the covers and faced Micah.
He was goddamn adorable with his hands tucked up under his cheek and mouth slightly parted. Hell, I hoped he didn’t mind waking up beside me, but I couldn’t take him to Zeke or Hyde. My panther and I were going to be selfish and keep him there. Something my animal was very happy about.
Moving closer, I reached out, my pulse racing, and tucked some hair behind his ear. Micah mumbled and moved closer, chasing my touch. He tucked himself up against me, and I rested my chin gently on the top of his head.
Yeah, I’d been a fucking idiotic moron.