No one said it would be easy, just that he’d learn to live with his new disability. Anytime there is a bump in the road, it causes a little stress. Annie convinced herself of that, but more importantly, she tried to convince Jack. So when he’d try to reach for something with that hand, or pick something up and it became awkward, Annie reassured Jack this was just a learning curve. When four-letter words flew out of his mouth, though, Annie pretended the frustration she heard wasn’t for real. It was a coping mechanism she used for a lot of things in her life.
“Here, let me help you with that, Jack.”
He whirled away and then stomped off, leaving her standing, her jaw dropping.
“Jack, come back. I was—”
“I know what you were doing. You were babying me…again!” He waved her off and kept walking.
She picked up the broken pieces of the plate and tossed them into the garbage pail. Suddenly, Carolina began to cry in the other room, sending Annie in another direction, almost forgetting about the spat she and Jack just had.
Hearing the door slam and right after, Ashton, who’d been content on the sofa watching television, let out a loud, “Daddy, where are you going,” prompted Annie to quickly draw Carolina up into her arms and rush out to the living room. Jack was gone. She picked up the pace and opened the front door. She watched his frame sway as he raced out of her view. He was headed down to the dock. The sky was gray, and the trees, mostly bare now except for the stately Magnolia tree where they’d buried their time capsule at the trunk, showed all the signs winter was upon them. The bleakness of the landscape dived into her soul and muddied her spirit. Give her a day of sunshine, and no matter what, her mood radiated like feet dipped into warm sand.
She turned and went back inside, defeated. She had to give him space.
Ashton sat on his new booster seat up at the big people’s table, nibbling on small pieces of vegetables as Annie finished getting dinner ready. She peered at the clock on the stove. Jack had been gone for three hours. Dusk was about to arrive, and Annie knew that even though Lady Powell was equipped with lights, it wasn’t safe for him to be out on the water at night, alone. Annie wondered if she’d feel differently had he not been injured.
She’d placed the bowl of macaroni and cheese in front of Ashton, then turned to Carolina, who now was using Ashton’s highchair.
“Sister is in my chair,” he said in between bites.
“Yes, she is. Thank you for sharing it with her.” Annie slid the spoon into the jar and whirled it around. They’d kept him in a highchair way too long. Or maybe they wanted to baby Carolina longer. Either way, Annie was feeling a bit blue about all the changes going on. Annie’s own tummy began to growl, but she didn’t have time to eat. She was worried sick about Jack while trying to conceal her angst from the children. She’d read somewhere they could sense stress and turmoil. She was so good at covering things up.
All heads turned or looked up when Jack came through the front door. Ashton yelled out, Carolina made some noise, and Annie held her breath a moment too long before letting it escape. She wanted to give him space. Not baby him.
“There’s macaroni and cheese on the stove if you’re hungry,” Annie said, turning her attention back to Carolina.
“I’m not hungry. I’m going to take a shower and then hit the hay.”
“It’s a little early to go to bed, isn’t it? I mean, the kids would like to see you.” She searched for words of confidence and comfort, but nothing came.
“Now you’re going to tell me when I’m sleepy or not? Please, Annie. Get over yourself.”
Annie’s lids slowly closed, but a few tears leaked out before she could hide them.
“Mommy’s crying,” Ashton said, puckering out his lower lip.
“Mommy is fine. Finish your dinner,” she whispered.
Annie couldn’t ward off the hunger pangs any longer and finally broke down and warmed up a bowl of the mac and cheese. Ashton and Carolina were playing nicely in the living room. He was showing her his cars and trucks. Everything was okay until she put one bite in her mouth.
“Mommy, Carolina is slobbering all over my toys!”
“Ashton, she’s a baby. That’s what they do. Let me remind you, you were a baby once too. You put all sorts of things in your mouth. Dirt, rocks, even dog poop. Well, not really. Daddy got the dog poop out of your hand before you ate it.” She crossed her arms and smirked.
“Yuck! Buffy or Isla?”
“It doesn’t matter. It was dog poop!”
With the mention of their names, both dogs raised up. When they realized it was nothing, they snuggled back down into the giant-sized bed they shared.
Annie checked her watch. It was bath time. She made a mad dash to the bathroom and began to fill the tub. She stepped out into the hall and looked down at their bedroom door. It was closed. She gazed toward the living room, both kids were still playing nice. She turned off the water and grabbed pajamas for Ashton.
“Bath time, Ashton.” She leaned over and picked up Carolina.
While Ashton played in the tub, she sat on the closed toilet seat and bounced Carolina on her knee. Jack normally helped her with the whole nighttime routine, but he went to bed. She supposed Ashton could have skipped his bath, but Annie was trying to make everything as normal as she could.
After she got both kids in bed, she read Ashton a story. He didn’t like the fact that Jack wasn’t reading it to him, but finally, he gave in. Annie closed the book when she’d read the last word. “You know, Ashton, Daddy is still recovering from his hurt hand. We need to be patient with him as it heals.”
“Yes, Mommy. But will he be my daddy still?”
Annie put the book on the table. “Of course, he’ll be your daddy still.”
“He’s not playing with me anymore.”
Annie rolled in her lips and bit down.
“I miss him,” he said, crying crocodile tears.
Even though they were fake tears, she believed he was sad. He just didn’t know how to express it. “I know you do. Just give it some more time.” She dropped a kiss on his forehead. “Good night.”
“Good night, Mommy. I love you.”
“I love you more.”
She poured herself a glass of wine and sipped on it in the dark. How much longer would they be able to live like this? Granted, it’d only been a month, but she was hoping he’d be stronger than this. He’d never let anything defeat him as long as she had known him. Jack Powell was one tough cookie. So why did she feel so exposed and alone?