GIACOMO WOKE LATE the next morning groggy and with a certain distaste for the sunlight that was shining on his face through the window. His head throbbed like a tail caught in a door, which only got worse when he moved, so he lay as still as he possibly could and hoped that it would pass. He turned his thoughts ahead to the day’s activities to take his mind off his headache. The present selling would be first, and then the traditional Christoph Day festival in the amphitheatre, which Jordi, having confided last evening in The Moustrap Inn, was eagerly awaiting. After the fashion show, Alby Greencat, the Reserve Bank of Purrona’s Top Cat, was scheduled to give his annual report on the state of the gadget economy; and it was also rumored, though not confirmed, that the richest cat in Purrona was going to make a surprise appearance. It was going to be a busy day.
Before he could think of what he was going to wear to the biggest event on the social calendar, Giacomo heard paw-steps coming down the staircase, then a scream of, “MEE-OW! Watch where you walk!” and his head began to throb even more. “Get out of bed, Giacomo!” said Hilly or Milly, thumping on the door.
“Time to trade gadget-presents,” said Milly or Hilly. “Father requests your presence.”
There was no point in appealing for a little more time to lie in, so Giacomo yelled back that he’d be there in a minute. He heard them return upstairs, squabbling and stepping on each other’s tails, then got out of bed as gently as he could. After gathering the gadget-presents he wanted to sell, tripping once or twice on a couple of scattered gadgets and some items of clothing, he went to Jordi’s bedroom. Wedged between the twins, Fragile Franny was holding the bowl of broken glass and accusing Jordi of hiding yesterday’s Evening Mews. He was dressed in his finest tweed jacket at the foot of the bed, denying the allegation with a vigorous shake of his head. All of a sudden, everyone turned to Giacomo and an uneasy silence enveloped the room. The twins covered their mouths with their paws and giggled. Fragile Franny’s beady eyes widened and her jaw dropped.
After what seemed an interminable few seconds of horror, Franny found her voice. “What’s the meaning of this?” she screamed. “How dare you come up here naked!” She showered the floor with broken glass, shouting at Giacomo to get out of her sight; she was an actress; she had a delicate disposition; she had performed on stage before the King and Queen of Kattalina. Who, in the Great Cat’s name, did he think he was?
Jordi told his daughters to stop gawking and ushered Giacomo out of the room. Treading carefully over the shards of glass, Giacomo went downstairs to get his apron, then came back and apologized to everyone for his behavior. He didn’t know what had come over him. He wasn’t thinking. He was truly sorry, and to prove how much, he was going to offer a ten percent discount on the gadget-presents he intended to sell.
Everyone seemed satisfied with the new deal, until they saw what he intended to trade. Jordi wasn’t at all impressed with the gadget-guillotine that reassembled into a toy cart, offering only a third of what Giacomo wanted for it, way less than cost price. Likewise, the twins eyed their gadget-umbrellas dubiously. “You don’t expect me to pay for this, do you?” said Hilly or Milly, her nose in the air. “Pink is last summer’s color. I want purple.”
“I want green,” Milly or Hilly said, adding that she wouldn’t be seen dead with something so horrid and out of fashion; she’d be the laughing stock at school.
Fragile Franny was even worse. She simply couldn’t stand the bookends. She hurled them back at him in disgust. He ducked, and they just missed his head, crashing into the wall next to the mirror, breaking in half. “I’m not paying for broken goods,” she screamed. “Are you trying to insult me?”
Giacomo’s head was now throbbing worse than it had ever been that morning. He tried to appease her by offering the gadget-presents set aside for the beggar-cat and Gorman Dyse. She didn’t think much of them either. The expensive Catbands were last season’s fashion (didn’t he know?) and the gadget kitty litter brush with “sixteen miracle functions” was simply outrageous. Not knowing what else to do, he promised to get something more appropriate for an actress of her stature at the after-Christoph sales. This seemed to mollify her. At least the screaming stopped.
“Now, Giacomo,” Jordi said, treading carefully to the end of the bed, “we all have something to sell you.” From beneath the mattress he removed a gadget-present for Giacomo. “Before you open it, I want you to know that I’m only going to make fifteen percent profit on the sale. You’re almost family now.”
It was a Koochi Koo trilby, the finest felt hat money could buy. Giacomo tried it on. It was a little large, the brim hung somewhat over his eyes, but Jordi said he’d have plenty of time to grow into it, and if he didn’t mind him saying so, it looked rather dapper; all the femme-cats would know Giacomo was a cat of fashion. Hilly and Milly nodded their heads.
Giacomo stood in front of the mirror, imagining his triumphant return to Purr Meowni. With the golden chalice securely in his possession, he’d amble over the drawbridge and through the main gates, past the surprised guards. Everyone on the Mia Miko would stop in their tracks and admire him. He’d be a celebrity in his trilby and coat. “Who’s that?” they’d whisper when he’d pass. “Is that Humphrey Bocat?” But he’d ignore them all, his nose held high, and head straight for Felicia de Mewcat’s house. She wouldn’t recognize him at first, just think a handsome stranger had knocked on the wrong door. He’d smile and tip his Koochi Koo trilby, and say something suave and sophisticated like, “Here’s look’n at you, cat,” or, when she asked him what he was holding, cock his eyes to the heavens and reply with the wisdom of a master, “The stuff cat-dreams are made of.”
He kept eyeing the trilby in the mirror. At only two hundred and fifty crowns, it was a veritable bargain. It was just the thing he needed for the catwalk show. He had to have it, and not wishing to offend the others, he also purchased an expensive gadget-vase made of Purronian hardwood from Fragile Franny (who thought nothing of charging him one hundred percent of the original cost) that doubled as a lampshade and a rubbish bin, complete with inbuilt wheels and a pulley mechanism for those heavy to lift items; and from Hilly and Milly, he bought two pairs of mittens, green and purple (the same ones, in fact, he’d bought at two-for-the-price-of-one the other day, though refrained from mentioning it out of politeness), also at double the original price. There was only one snag, he told Jordi. He had no ready cash to pay for the presents.
“Not to worry,” his boss said. “I’m sure we can arrange some kind of amicable settlement.”
They discussed payment options over breakfast downstairs in the shop while the twins dressed for the catwalk show. The settlement was amicable, as his boss had said, although rather more amicable for Jordi than for himself. To cover the costs of his gadget-presents, Giacomo had to forgo his end of year bonus and sell all his shares in Jordi Milktooth Enterprises (at below market price, which Jordi explained was normal for private sales), and it still didn’t cover the rental payments he still owed.
“That’s a separate issue all together,” Jordi said.
Nevertheless, Giacomo was happy. Back in Purr Meowni, he’d be the only cat with a Koochi Koo trilby and a gadget-vase made of Purronian hardwood. He’d be the talk of the town.