Sunday, November 24, 1878
WILLIAM KNOCKED LIGHTLY ON MY DOOR before entering my room. I was still seated in the window looking longingly across the street. I just wanted to catch a glimpse of him when he left for church. I had to see him. The last vision I had of him could not be of the two of us standing in the rain arguing and me fleeing.
Why had I been so stubborn? Why didn’t I tell him how much I love him, that I was sorry? Why didn’t I beg him to forgive my foolishness? Why didn’t I put an end to all this stupidity when he came over to speak with me?
“He is not there,” William’s voice broke the silence of my hollow room.
“What do you mean? Where is he?”
I couldn’t take my eyes off his house. I saw Emily and Robert walk out the front door and Robert help her into their carriage. They had closed the door behind them with no Jackson anywhere to be seen.
“He left late last night for his aunt’s place in Boston.” He came over and sat down on the other end of the window seat. His face was sad and concerned. “He said he would be back for finals on campus but plans on returning to Boston for a couple weeks to study for the bar. He told me last night that instead of joining his father’s practice, he has decided that he is going to join his uncle’s in Boston.”
A silent tear ran down my cheek as the complete magnitude of my decision fully set in.
“Jackson said that without you, he could not bring himself to stay here.” He reached out and pulled me into his arms. “I am so sorry, Jocelyn.”
I curled up in the security of my brother’s arms and wept uncontrollably. It was truly over. He was gone forever.