Butterflies loved my old bedroom.
In summer they wheeled in through open windows
to dance
before desperately seeking
a way out.
There were days when I woke with
paper-thin wings on my face,
bands of butterflies
tiptoeing in with
the morning.
I tried to catch them,
tease them outside,
but they were so easily broken,
so easily crushed and killed.
I had to chase gently,
clasp my fingers together to
trap them,
keep my hands a cave.
Before the release,
I’d always hold the butterfly
for a few extra seconds,
feel its flutter,
the fragile panic.
I could have crushed and killed it,
or gone outside and
released it
into the dandelions,
and knowing I had this power
always made me feel
a bit sick.