Stinging Nettles

The conkers fell,

crashing to the ground and shaking off their

tough-on-the-outside,

velvety-on-the-inside

shells.

I begged Kelly-Anne to walk with me to the park

so I could gather a bagful

and take them to school

to boast about I-don’t-know-what.

Dad stood up from the couch. I’ll come for some air.

Kelly-Anne beamed;

it was before

he started treating her really badly,

and I was probably pleased too.

Dad never went anywhere with us

unless it was somehow about him –

a trip to Homebase for paint

or the Chinese for dinner.

It was drizzling at Downhills Park.

You could spot the chestnut trees easily,

brown-leaved against a sky of still greens.

I sprinted.

I foraged.

My bag filled quickly with the

chocolatey brown globes,

but I was greedy for more

and more

and more,

crawled my way beneath briars to trawl.

I didn’t see the stinging nettles,

didn’t notice the blanket of them

or that my hands, knees and legs tingled,

until it was too late,

until my body was covered in their toxins

and I was scratching, scratching,

spotting uncased chestnuts but too sore

to collect them.

Oh, you poor thing, said Kelly-Anne,

kneading my hands with dock leaves.

Dad was grinning.

Even I spotted the nettles.

You’re too old to be collecting conkers anyway.

I was eleven.

At twelve

I didn’t bother

collecting conkers come September,

and when I was thirteen I told

anyone who flaunted theirs

how stupid and babyish they were

until they hid their treasure

or threw them away entirely.