Wasted

I wasted a lot of time

waiting for my father to be a better person,

wondering if he could change,

if I could change him

by being quiet,

disrupting his life

as little as possible.

I should have used my time more wisely:

I could have counted the hairs on Sophie’s dog;

I could have emptied a swimming pool

with a spoon;

I could have memorised Shakespeare’s plays,

the sonnets too.

I wasted precious time thinking

I could change my father

if only I were more

than I knew how to be.