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Talking to Your Vet about Possible End of Life

This is an area that is difficult to consider but immensely important. A good starting place is to talk openly and honestly with the vet staff about end-of-life issues. This will allow you to ask about the things that worry you so that you can be best informed about your pet’s condition, what to expect, and what you can do to keep them comfortable during the time they have left.

Remember that the vet team have your pet’s best interests at heart and want to do what they can to prevent your animal suffering. They also want to make sure that when the time comes for you to say goodbye, it is an easy and kind death. But they are also there for you, the guardian, to offer guidance as you find your way through this distressing time.

Staff in a well-run veterinary practice will be sensitive and understand that this is a significant and incredibly difficult time for you, so try not to let worry about getting upset in front of them prevent you from talking freely about your pet’s condition and their anticipated death. Indeed, the vet team want you to be as settled as possible in your mind about any decisions you make.

Accepting that one’s cherished companion animal is nearing the close of their time is a journey in itself, with many twists and turns along the way. Although your mind may begin to see the reality, your heart may be pulling you in the opposite direction. You may feel that surely something can be done to save your pet. And expectations of what the veterinary profession can offer may be raised by the media showing animals undergoing extensive or pioneering surgery.

Part of this journey is being able to face the reality of the situation and accept mentally and emotionally what needs to happen. This first activity is to help you to prepare for the crucial initial discussion with your vet so that you can find out everything you need to know before deciding whether euthanasia is the kindest option for your beloved companion animal. Give yourself some time to think about and jot down what you need to ask your vet.

ACTIVITY: Consulting Your Vet

Here are some possible questions you can use, or you may prefer to write your own. Leave a space next to each question so that you can jot down what the vet says in response.

What I Need to Ask about My Pet’s Prognosis

This activity is to help you to gather as much information as possible from the vet team so you can keep your heart and mind focused on what is best for your pet. It will also make it easier to sidestep the pressures sometimes exerted by well-meaning but less informed people telling you what you should and shouldn’t do.

When Loss Is Anticipated

Once you know that your pet is nearing the end of their time, free-floating worries and fears can surface because you don’t know what to expect as their condition gets worse. This next activity is to help you work out what is on your mind and what you now need to ask the vet team.

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ACTIVITY: Finding Out What to Expect as Time Progresses

Make a list of all the things you feel you need to find out. Even though it is painful to articulate your thoughts in this way, write everything down so that it’s in black and white and out in the open, ready to discuss with your vet. Don’t feel under pressure to list everything at once, as what you need to know may change as time progresses.

A few example questions are given to help get you started, but ignore any that don’t apply and add your own. Make sure you leave a space next to each question to jot down what the vet says.

What I Need to Ask

To recap, this exercise is to work out what you need to ask your vet and to keep a note of what is said so you can refer to it later. Some of it will probably change over time.