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Taking Care of Your Pet’s Remains

You will no doubt feel distressed at losing a pet who was a valued member of the family, so it is important to take a little time now to think about how you wish to offer a final service in terms of burial or cremation.

This section is of necessity practical in nature, and is designed to guide you towards making the best choice for your situation. Time spent considering this beforehand, perhaps in discussion with all members of the family, can help to prevent regrets later on. Thinking ahead also means you can research what services are available and look into the different costs and standards so you can choose what fits with your particular beliefs and budget.

Sorting out how you want things to be done when it is finally time to say goodbye brings peace of mind, as confirmed by this lady who had to decide where her elderly pony would be laid to rest after his transition:

I was having a bit of an emotional struggle all summer as I thought I was going to be facing putting my pony down in the autumn, but thankfully, he has a reprieve and is going to retire and hopefully have a few more years yet. Amazingly, the place I have found for him to retire has loads of space, and when it is his time to go he can be buried there, so I feel at peace with the thought of his final days now, as the farm is very quiet and peaceful and I know that when the end does come it will be dignified and I can plant a tree there to remember him.

However, planning ahead isn’t always possible, in which case you can ask the vet practice to keep the remains of a small animal in their special cool area to give you some time to think through what you want to do.

Some people prefer to leave everything in the hands of the vet, whilst others want to make their own arrangements or employ the services of a private concern. What follows are a few pointers to help you to think about the different options that are available.

Cremation

Communal cremation, where several pets are cremated together, means you cannot have your pet’s ashes returned. However, you can ask your vet to arrange an “individual cremation”. Although it is more expensive, it does mean that you can have the ashes returned to bury in your garden, scatter in a favourite place you had shared with your pet, or keep in a casket or special container. Alternatively, you can contact a private pet crematorium that offers a similar service and may also have a Garden of Remembrance, a peaceful place for you to visit in quiet contemplation and fond memory of your companion animal.

Some pet crematoriums have the facilities to allow owners to view the cremation; this is called a “witnessed cremation”. The process itself can be lengthy, but some people find it reassuring to witness their pet’s remains being handled with respect as they are placed into the cremation chamber.

It is worth visiting the Association of Private Pet Cemeteries and Crematoria (APPCC) website, which provides important information and definitions of after-death services in the UK. They advise pet owners to look beyond the glossy marketing presentation of private firms and explain how to check that the standard of care delivered is as advertised. They also suggest that you make sure you know how your pet’s remains will be handled before agreeing to a collection. For example, when more than one pet is collected from each vet practice, the handling becomes very basic.

The International Association of Pet Cemeteries and Crematories (IAOPCC) is a worldwide not-for-profit organization dedicated to advancing the standards, ethics, and professionalism of pet cemeteries and crematories outside of the UK. Its website contains information on individual locations that you can check.

Burial

You can ask your vet for some practical advice on pet burial to find out what is possible and what is legal within your country or state. For example, in the UK, the law only allows people to bury their own pet on property they own (unless there are local bylaws against this), which means that home burial is not possible for those who live in rented or council-owned properties.

The UK legislation about burying equines is more complex. The rules for Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland differ from those in England, so you will need to contact the local agricultural department for your area. If you want to bury a horse on your own land in England, you need to contact your local council’s animal health office. The burial site of a large pet is required to be a minimum distance of 50 metres from any well, borehole, or spring supplying water used for human consumption or used in food production, which includes private water supplies. The council may ask for a map marking the burial place and have additional requirements.

In the US, local and state governments regulate the burial of pet remains on any property you legally own. The laws and regulations can differ by state, county, or municipality; therefore, before attempting a pet burial on land you legally own, you will need to find out what you can and cannot do. For example, the laws governing the disposal of deceased animals in the state of Washington not only specify what constitutes a “dead animal” but also dictate how quickly the owner must “properly dispose” of the corpse (within 72 hours). Other states may require a shorter time period for disposal. The depth of soil required to cover the remains varies as well. It generally seems to be around 3 feet deep, as is the case in the UK, but the distance of the burial site from a water course may need to be greater.

Australia does not appear to have the same legal complexities when it comes to burying small pets, but it is wise to check with your vet to find out if there are any restrictions, particularly regarding large companion animals.

Health and Safety Issues: Be aware that in some circumstances you may not be allowed to bury a pet for health and safety reasons due to certain medical treatment having been given.

Post-mortem: If your vet advises that a post-mortem needs to be carried out, or if this is required by your insurers, you will need to discuss what is involved with your vet, including the cost, and check what options you will have for taking care of your pet’s remains as it is generally not possible to bury an animal following a post-mortem. Occasionally, an owner will ask for a post-mortem to be done to find out the cause of their beloved pet’s death. Post-mortems can reveal why an animal died or was suffering to the point where euthanasia was needed, which can help bring closure. This does need to be discussed with the vet beforehand, as the procedure is not always conclusive.

Some websites advise against pet burial because the anaesthetic drug given for euthanasia may pose a danger to wild animals or domestic pets that could dig up the remains. Biohazards are also mentioned, such as communicable diseases or recent radiotherapy. Your vet will be able to advise you whether and where you can bury your pet. Once you have the go-ahead, the main issue will be to create a suitable plot that will remain intact for years to come.

It is advisable to prepare a burial site that will allow a metre of soil (3 feet) above your pet’s body, and to place some large flat stones, such as paving stones, or a number of rough stones, over the grave to maintain its integrity. Digging a big enough plot is extremely hard work, especially if the ground is made up of heavy clay soil or is stony, so you may need to organize help to do this. If access allows, a digger will make it much easier if you need to create a sizeable grave on your own land.

Consider wrapping your pet’s body in a biodegradable blanket or sheet, such as one made from cotton, silk, or wool, or in a special pet coffin or small cardboard box. When I buried my own very small pet in my garden, I found it comforting to use one of my favourite silk scarves as a shroud when he was laid to rest. Plastic will prevent the natural breakdown of the body, which happens over time, so it is best avoided.

The whole family may wish to be involved in preparing the ground and finding a suitable stone or plant to mark your pet’s final resting place.

When burying a pet in your garden, one aspect to consider is how you will feel if and when you move house in the future. Some people find it really difficult when they have to leave behind their beloved pet’s grave. One owner remembers how distressing she found moving home for this reason.

We shared our home with a beautiful rescue cat called Jake, a gentle furry soul, but tragically Jake had a tumour, and we lost him much sooner than anticipated. We brought him home and buried him in our garden alongside a beautiful flowering jasmine. Unfortunately, I could not foresee that I would need to sell my cottage, and it still affects me now that Jake remained in the garden I no longer own.

Whilst I have struggled with this immensely, I do feel that his spirit lives on in my memories and he is always close at heart. Our pets provide us with so much unconditional love, and although loss impacts everyone differently, feelings of despair can at times be overwhelming.

Pet cemeteries are scarcer and more costly than pet crematoriums, but this could be an option if you would prefer your pet to be buried but either you do not have your own garden or there is not enough space to accommodate a grave. Your vet’s surgery can advise you on the availability and standard of local services.

The cost of using a pet cemetery can be significantly greater than cremation or a home burial, and there may be an additional maintenance charge, but the advantages are that the staff will prepare the ground and perform the burial, so you avoid what can be extremely hard manual work. Generally, pet cemeteries are well maintained and offer a peaceful environment to visit your pet’s grave in the future, although the distance of the cemetery from where you live will need to be considered.

Farm Animals and Equines

If preferred, you can contact a fallen stock service for deceased equines, but farm animals must be disposed of using an approved disposal method for fallen stock.

In some countries, such as the UK, you will need to inform your vet practice and the passport-issuing authority of the death of an equine so that records can be amended.

If livestock dies on your land, it must be collected, identified, and transported from your farm as soon as reasonably practical. And in the meantime, the body needs to be kept away from animals and birds to avoid the spread of any potential diseases.

Generally, there are specific government regulations for the disposal of deceased farm animals other than equines, and information can be found on the government website or through your vet practice. For example, in the UK, it is not legal to bury or burn the bodies of deceased farm animals, including stillborn animals, even if they were kept as pets.

Collection of the Remains of Equines and Farm Animals

Please be aware that witnessing the removal of the bodies of larger animals, such as a horse or pet cow, can be distressing because of the practical issues involved, so you may prefer not to be present during this time. Similarly, if visiting an establishment that disposes of farm animal carcasses, there is a possibility that you may come across vehicles holding large numbers of deceased animals, which again can be upsetting.

Concerning All Animals

As said before, it can be incredibly difficult to think about how to take care of the remains of your beloved companion animal. Information is available on the internet about “disposing of dead animals”, which is understandably too graphic for many people. A note about leaving it to your vet: this can mean that your pet’s remains are included in a mass cremation process or taken to a landfill. If you want to know what will happen to your pet’s body, be sure to ask for this information.

Ceremonies and Memorials

Ceremonies and memorials are, of course, a matter of personal choice and belief. Children often want to arrange a pet funeral in their own way and select special stones, flowers, plants, and mementos for a site in the garden. It can be an excellent way for the family to come together as a mark of respect and remembrance to recognize their mutual grief. Even when the body or ashes of your pet cannot be buried for some reason, having a particular place of remembrance in the garden can bring comfort in the days ahead.

Engraved plaques and stones are available from a number of sources, although you may prefer to create something yourself. One thing that I’ve done over the years is to find a nice largish smooth pebble and get to work with either paint or coloured felt tip pens. The idea is to write or paint the pet’s name on the top side, and underneath to put the main quality of their life, for example, “Bobby” on top with “Loyal” on the underside. Of course, the pebble can be creatively embellished, either with simple artwork or by gluing on shiny sequins or such like. This means you’ll have a totally personalized memorial stone that can be placed in the garden or kept inside. Please be aware that although the artwork can be preserved by varnishing the pebble, if it is left outside it will likely peel or fade over time.

Some people prefer to do an online memorial with photos, or you could, when you feel ready, create a photo book. Another idea is to have a photo cushion made with your favourite photo of the pet on the front, which makes for a soft and huggable reminder. Please bear in mind, though, that some people find it too distressing to look at photos of a beloved pet that has only just passed away because the grief is so raw at this early stage.

Other Ideas to Consider

You can ask your vet for a snippet of your pet’s fur or hair or a feather as a keepsake, or do this yourself beforehand.

It may be possible to have a paw print taken in clay or ink, whilst the pet is still alive or after their transition. Some vets offer this service, or it may be possible through a pet crematorium. The printed paw prints can be framed or made into a piece of jewellery or put on a mug, cushion, or other item to create a lasting and poignant memorial.

With individual cremation, there are options of different caskets, urns, scatter pouches, or tubes. You can also find eco-friendly products containing seeds of flowers, plants, or even a tree that will gradually be released into the soil.

People sometimes find their own unique way of remembering a beloved companion animal, as can be seen in this account:

Earlier this year, I took my German shepherd girls to a beautiful Northumberland beach where many people take their dogs for a long run. As we walked through the dunes, we came across a large bucket with a photo of a lovely and obviously young dog taped to it. Beneath it was a touching note saying that the dog had sadly died but the owner invited any visitor with a dog to take a tennis ball from the bucket and play with their dog in memory of their departed friend, who had loved nothing better than to run on this beach and fetch his favourite toy. The bucket was empty, so obviously many people had taken up the offer, but I played with my girls anyway with their balls and appreciated even more the joy of being with them and having them with me alive, healthy, and full of joie de vivre. I also thought about the young dog that had loved doing this with his remarkable owners and sent warmth and support to them.

And another guardian found her own unique way of remembering her beloved dog:

I used to take my dear greyhound, Nelson, to visit an elderly man who had become a good friend, and sometimes a much-appreciated adviser on life matters, over the years. Nelson had a particularly endearing nature, especially for a dog who had been treated so badly before he came to live me; he was often referred to as “a real gentleman”, as he was quiet, calm, and kind.

When my dog died from medical problems associated with old age, I was devastated. I missed his gentle presence in the home and missed him walking alongside me and being there when I got home from work. But my elderly friend also sorely missed Nelson, because I’d always take him when I visited and the two of them had developed their own bond between them.

Sometime after Nelson’s death, I felt I was in the right place in myself to do something special as a memorial to my lovely boy. I had the idea to knit a greyhound and found a pattern for a life-size one! I couldn’t wait to buy the wool and get knitting, and I wanted to make it as a gift to present to my elderly friend. It took a long time, but it was ready just in time for Christmas.

As I knitted, I tried to imbue some of Nelson’s soul into it—I wanted it to be really special and to look and to feel like him. I tried to capture his natural expression in the eyes—shy and reserved but calmly watching the world go by. I was very excited and also a bit nervous about the finished result. I put my knitted dog on the settee with his head on a cushion—just how Nelson used to relax.

The day he was complete and lying on my sofa, I had to go out and the thought came to mind, Oh, I’ll leave the radio on for Nelson while I’m out. Then I remembered that it wasn’t the real dog! But strangely this knitted version of my beloved dog somehow held his presence and it felt like he was there.

Some of my friends found it a bit odd, but to me it was a really special way to connect to the dear soul who I missed so much.