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Shocking Mental Images

Witnessing the death of a pet can be incredibly difficult, especially when it was traumatic or shocking. You may find that you keep reliving your pet’s final moments, seeing the distressing event in your mind, as described by this guardian whose beloved dog had to be put to sleep because she did not respond to treatment for repeated seizures:

The downside for me is that I seem to be the one that’s still suffering from the loss of Tess; I still struggle massively at times. I have flashbacks of taking her for the last time into the surgery. It all seemed surreal; there I was, holding what appeared on the surface to be a perfectly healthy dog at the time and basically watching her die.

I still wake up in cold sweats haunted by “what if”, “why”, and “if only”.

I was starting to feel quite a bit better about losing my Tess but struggled again recently as I know a guy who had just lost his daughter, aged only 25, through epilepsy; it was like a nightmare returning.

Sometimes I feel I’m getting over it but then bang, something clicks and I’m back into depressive mode.

The best way to describe my world is like I’m on a roller-coaster ride. One moment I’m on a nice easy part of the ride and then, in the blink of an eye, I’m hurtling down this stomach-churning dive.

There’s always something that appears, bringing back memories of Tess—some good and some bad. I’ll get there eventually, I’m sure. They say time is a healer, but to be honest, I cannot and will not put my Tess out of my memory.

Disturbing thoughts and memories can make sleeping even more difficult, if each time you close your eyes the image replays. The following activity is offered as a way to overwrite the shocking image with one that is positive.

ACTIVITY: Coping with Shocking Images

Consciously think back to a time in your pet’s life when they were happy and healthy, perhaps playing or snuggling up with you. You may find it helps to use an actual photo of your pet, as long as you feel able to cope with photos; sometimes, the emotions are too raw to face looking at pictures.

Once you’ve chosen your mental picture or photo, keep it in mind for as long as you can, allowing yourself to take in all the details and sense the feelings that go with it. Don’t worry if this makes you cry; just let the tears flow, but keep focusing on the positivity of the scene in your mind.

Have this as your “go to” mental image, or you could think about it as your new “mental screensaver”. Next time the distressing image flits into your mind, try to concentrate on swiping your new “mental screen saver” over the negative picture. Initially, it will be difficult, and you may not manage it, but keep trying, gently calling to mind the positive picture. If it helps, take slow and steady deep breaths at the same time.

Over time, with consistent effort and focus, you may find that you’re able to overwrite the distressing scene with a happier snapshot of your pet’s life.

If you continue to struggle with flashbacks of the traumatic incident, suffer nightmares, or generally feel unable to cope, do not hesitate to seek help from a suitable professional.