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When to Seek Professional Help

While it is normal to feel intense emotional turmoil in grief, there are times when professional support is needed.

People who suffer from depression can be particularly vulnerable, as can those who suffer anxiety in their everyday lives, and may find it becomes overwhelming during grief.

As has been mentioned in other sections of this book, do not hesitate to seek professional help if you are struggling to cope with the loss of your pet, whether it be physical, mental, behavioural, or emotional aspects, such as:

• Continuing and unusual insomnia
• Continuing loss of appetite
• Drinking more alcohol
• Turning to illegal substances
• Not taking care of yourself as you would normally
• Feeling aggressive towards others
• Depression that never lifts
• Constant anger
• Not being able to cope with daily life
• Constant anxiety
• Feeling worthless
• Feeling there is no hope
• Suicidal thoughts and feelings

Suicidal Thoughts

People often remark that they don’t know how they’ll cope without their loved one, and this can be the case whether the loss is of a person or pet. However, thoughts about “going to join” the deceased must be taken seriously. Thinking about taking one’s own life, perhaps even visualizing how this would be done, is not a normal part of the grieving process. If you experience such thoughts, please seek support without delay.

Perhaps you have a friend or relative in whom you can confide initially and who could support you in getting the help you need. If you don’t feel there is anyone in particular you can turn to at the time, take a look at the list of suggestions below.

Understandably, it can be difficult to start such a conversation, but often the best way is to simply and honestly explain how you are feeling, and what you are thinking. You could start by saying something such as “I can’t cope”. Or you could write down your thoughts and show these to the person you want to talk to.

The main point about this is that if you are in any doubt about your ability to cope, seek help immediately. Do not worry about what you say sounds like, or feel you are bothering or upsetting others, because there are people who recognize that your feelings count as much as anyone else’s, and who would want to help.

When Grief Becomes Complicated

Sometimes a loss can trigger grief from previous bereavements that were never fully resolved at the time or occur soon after one another. The new loss may come on the back of other losses or stressful events, such as a partnership breakup, losing one’s job, or having to relocate, or there may be other background issues that make it particularly difficult to work through the grief. If you do not feel as though you are coping, and constantly feel low, tearful, and unable to cope with aspects of everyday life, find out what professional support is available to help you get through this distressing time.

Where to Get Professional Help

Depending on the circumstances, there are different options for professional help. Some are free, whilst others will incur a fee:

• For urgent medical help or advice in the UK, visit NHS 111 online, or dial 111 for the NHS helpline. For life-threatening emergency, dial 999, or go to your nearest hospital Accident & Emergency (A&E) department.
• In the US, dial 911 for emergency
• Organizations that help with crisis (for example, the Samaritans)
• General practitioner
• Mental health practitioner
• Mental health support organization
• Pet bereavement counsellor
• Pet bereavement support organization
• General counsellor who specializes in bereavement support
• See also Resources at the end of the book.

Remember that grief can be incredibly difficult to cope with, and sometimes we need support and help. This is the case whether the grief is from losing a person or a companion animal.