EPILOGUE

Supporting Someone Else through Pet Bereavement

In the future, you may well come across others who are struggling with the death of a much-loved companion animal. This could be a friend or family member, or a chance meeting with someone you haven’t met before. You’ll recognize their pain and distress, and although it may cause you to feel upset for a while, it can be a wonderful opportunity to use your own experience to offer understanding to someone else. You may find you can do this naturally and easily, but in case it’s helpful, here are some tips on supporting others in pet bereavement.

People who are grieving can feel lost and confused as they try to cope with overwhelming emotions and worries. Offering some quiet and dedicated time to talk things through can be of comfort. To do this effectively, you’ll need to press the pause button on the everyday issues that are going on in your own life, even if this is for five minutes, so that you can truly listen to them.

Try not to worry about what to say or what you can do; instead, focus all your energy into listening and being in the moment. Concentrate on what they are saying in words and expressing through their body language. Look at what they need at that particular moment so you can respond in a measured way rather than be reactive to their distress.

Show respect for their particular loss and their feelings. The death of a pet doesn’t always elicit the same empathy and understanding as human loss, and it is important for the bereaved person to feel safe enough to show their feelings without fear of ridicule or unspoken judgement. If you want, let them know that you’ve been through it yourself, and reassure them that it is perfectly natural to be so upset when mourning a much-loved companion animal.

Bereavements can cause people to feel lost and alone. Be warm and open in your approach, as this helps keep the lines of communication open and will enable them to express their emotions, if they feel like sharing these with you.

Remember that you cannot change their circumstances or make things better for them; their grief is their journey to make. Be realistic in what you promise in terms of support and help. It is easy to get caught up in other people’s emotional turmoil, and it is natural to want to do whatever is possible to help. However, promises made on the spur of the moment can sometimes be difficult to fulfil later on, so keep in mind what time and energy you have available.

People often remark about how much it helps to be able to talk openly about their grief to someone who understands. The ever-increasing pace and demands of everyday life leave little time and space for the bereaved person to gently work through the different aspects of their grief; pausing for a short while to allow another to feel support and care during their moment of need is a true kindness that we can extend to each other.