‘Phoebe, it’s me’
‘Hey, Jess, long time no hear.’ Caught up in the moment Jess actually hadn’t spoken to her sister for a couple of weeks. ‘I’ve been busy, you know…’ Jess’s voice began to falter.
‘What’s wrong, Big Sis?’ Phoebe knew her sister so well.
‘Pregnant, I’m bloody pregnant, Phoebes.’
‘Okay,’ Phoebe said slowly, ‘anyone I know?’ She continued almost jokingly.
‘It’s a long story – well a short one really.’ Jess began to cry. ‘Can I come over and stay tonight please?’
‘You don’t need to ask, get in the car now. Glen’s away, so perfect timing.’
It was 7 p.m. by the time Jess got herself sorted and began the hour-long drive to Phoebe’s house. Georgina and Annabel were waiting at the door, excited at her arrival.
‘Auntie Jessica, Auntie Jessica. Look at the picture I did at nursery today.’
‘No, no, look at my new reading book.’ The two girls started to fight. Phoebe sighed and then opened her mouth wide to yawn. ‘They’ve been fighting since Georgie got in from school. They’re driving me mad today.’ She pushed her hands through her hair. ‘Right, you two. Finish your drinks and then it’s bedtime. Auntie Jessica and I need to have a chat – in peace.’
The adults moved through to the solace of the kitchen. Jess already felt better being so close to somebody she loved so much. Sensible Phoebe would give her the advice she needed.
‘Wine?’ Phoebe questioned tentatively.
‘Yes, what the hell, I do need a drink.’
‘How are you feeling anyway?’
‘Really horrid, I’m not sure I like being pregnant actually.’
‘How far gone are you?’
‘I’ve literally just missed my period, so probably four weeks that’s all.’
Jess relayed the whole ‘love’ story, from two years ago in the Holiday Inn to that morning. Phoebe listened intently. ‘Oh Jess, the good thing is that he knows it was a complete accident, and you in no way, shape or form have tried to trap him.’
‘I’d never do that.’
‘I know, but it goes in your favour that he knows that.’
‘He’s adamant he doesn’t want me to have it though.’ Jess said sadly.
‘I think what you’ve got to think about is what you, Jessica Morley, really want. Is it a relationship or is it a baby? Because it sounds like if you do decide to have the baby he isn’t going to be around very much.’ Jess let out a huge sigh. Phoebe put her hand on her arm and continued. ‘He is right in saying bringing up a child is hard. It’s tough enough with two parents and he is being realistic, in that he does have Evie to think about too. It would be a nightmare for him and also for you, as he wouldn’t be able to be around all the time.’
‘You know what I’m like though, Phoebes, I’ve already imagined him moving in with Evie and having a ready-made family.’
‘Get real, sis, that isn’t going to happen is it? You just told me he was playing the ‘mate’ card not so long ago.’
‘I know, I know. I don’t even want to think about that.’ Jess screwed up her face in anguish. ‘Things have changed since we first met. I haven’t said it to him yet but I love him. I really love him. In fact I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone else – and I’m sure he feels the same now. He’s just too scared to admit it to himself.’
‘Oh, Jess, I don’t want you to get hurt.’
‘I know. His friends do rib him about my age, but I’m hoping what we’ve got between us is enough for him to rise above our age differences. This will make you laugh – I got all excited the other week as he said that one of his mates calls me MrsHarris, and there’s me thinking that it’s because we spend so much time together like husband and wife, when in fact it’s because I’m old enough to be his mother!’
‘Oh Jess. I’m not laughing. Sixteen years is a big gap though.’ Phoebe stood up. ‘Right we’re not here to analyse your relationship with him, we’re here to establish if you are going to have this baby. Let me get the girls in bed and I’ll be right with you.’ Georgina and Annabel came running through to the kitchen.
‘Night, night, Auntie Jessica.’ Four-year-old Annabel spouted. ‘Can we play with my Plasticine in the morning?’
‘Course we can, monkey. Now you be a good girl and get to bed.’
‘Auntie Jessica?’ It was Georgina’s turn. ‘Why have you been crying? Has someone been nasty to you?’
‘No, darling, no one is ever nasty to Auntie Jessica, and if ever they were, I would tell them that her big grown-up niece Georgina would sort them out!’ Georgina smiled and gave her auntie a big kiss. ‘Love you both,’ Jess said through a watery smile.
‘Love you back.’ They shouted back in unison, as Phoebe chased them up the stairs.
Jess started to cry. This was possibility the most difficult decision she would have to make in her life.
‘So, where were we?’ Phoebe poured two more glasses of wine.
‘I don’t think I can make his life unhappy, Phoebe, I love him too much. What I’ve got with him is too special for me to muck up. I’ve been waiting all my life to have a connection like this with someone.’ She took a large gulp of wine and announced. ‘I’m going to have a termination.’ Jess couldn’t even bring herself to say the word abortion.
Phoebe nodded. ‘Hard as it is, I think that is the right decision to make, Jess. You don’t want to be stuck with a screaming baby, if his heart is not in it with you. I can’t think of anything more difficult than being a single parent and that is what you would be, if you’re honest with yourself.’
Jess wiped her eyes. ‘I’ll go home tomorrow and get to the doctor. Will you come with me when I have it done?’
‘Of course I will, angel.’ Phoebe kissed the top of her sister’s head. ‘Here for you always you know that.’