Alex woke up with a start.
‘Mummy! Mummy, I want some milk.’
It was 6 a.m. Alex groaned. Why couldn’t her daughter just sleep in for a little bit longer?
‘Go back to sleep,’ she shouted.
‘Mummy, but I want milk!’
Alex stumbled out of bed. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and knew that, although her cropped dark hair and elfin features normally made her look younger than her thirty-three years, she felt old and tired this morning. Her mouth was claggy and her eyes, small and squinty. She knew she shouldn’t have smoked all those cigarettes last night, but when her mate Sal came over they always managed to drink at least two bottles of wine and get through at least a pack of Marlboro Lights. Her arm was smarting from the recent tattoo she had had, an early Christmas present from Dan.
She lifted the little one from her cot and gave her a kiss. Scruffy white-blonde hair was stuck to a pretty little, bright pink face.
‘Morning, little miss.’ She carried her through into her untidy bedroom and laid her on the bed.
‘Milk, please, Mummy, milk now.’
Alex threw on her kaftan, grabbed her mobile, put CBeebies on the TV and went downstairs to warm some milk. No text from Dan. She dialled his number but it went straight through to answerphone.
‘Morning,’ Alex said in to the handset sleepily. ‘Guessing you had a good night? Two very important ladies want to talk to you so give us a call when you get this.’
By 8.30 a.m. Alex was beginning to get a little worried as she had still not heard from Dan. She called Carrie’s home number
‘Hiya, it’s only me, just checking that my delinquent boyfriend is not demanding you make him a full English breakfast?’
‘Hey, Alex. He didn’t stay here in the end. I thought he’d be home with you?’
‘Oh, well he’s not.’
‘No need to worry though, Al. He met up with an old client of the company and carried on drinking with her.’
‘Her?’
‘Yeah, Jessy Morley. I’ve known her years. She’s a really nice lady. He probably ended up crashing at hers, as his car was still at the barn when I left.’
Alex had always trusted Dan implicitly; he was the most honest person she had ever been with. They had met when he was twenty and she was twenty-nine. The nine year age gap had never seemed a problem, and not long into their relationship she had fallen pregnant. Instead of him running away at the prospect of parenthood at such a young age, he was really excited. They’d been happy until recently.
Alex desperately wanted another baby and had been feeling insecure when Dan said he wasn’t ready just yet. Instead of discussing and getting through this hurdle, Alex had found herself reading books every night while Dan played his computer games.
She felt a pang of jealousy that he was maybe staying at another woman’s house. She took the warmed milk upstairs and got back into bed.
‘Where’s Daddy?’ Evie asked.
‘At work, darling. We’ll see him later.’
Alex lay back on the bed and began to question her relationship with Dan. Were they really happy? Had they been playing at parenthood because neither of them was brave enough to let the other go? She realised that they hadn’t made love for over a month now. Suddenly, warning bells went off in her head.
‘Mummy, why are you crying?’