Jess’s head lolling forward from her airline seat woke her up with a start. She wiped the dribble from the side of her mouth and was more than relieved when the captain announced that they were about to begin their descent into Brisbane airport. She found long flights in economy dire. Her boredom threshold was very low and once she’d watched four films, had eaten every morsel of unappetising food off the tray, and ordered the entire magazine of duty free in her mind, that was it, she wanted to get off, usually when there were at least five hours still to go.
‘Big sis!’ Karl shouted loudly through the chattering throng in arrivals. Jess smiled broadly at her tanned, handsome brother as she negotiated her trolley through the crowd. ‘How was your flight?’
‘Long!’ Jess exclaimed. She noticed a pretty blonde girl at this side.
‘Jess, Shelley, Shelley, Jess,’ Karl introduced. ‘We’ve arranged a little itinerary for you, hope you don’t mind.’ Shelley piped up.
‘Three weeks isn’t long and we don’t want you to miss anything,’ Karl intercepted.
‘Fine by me,’ Jess replied. ‘I’m so bloody tired though I could sleep for a week.’
‘Well I’m afraid, dear sis, you have to stay awake all day today. That’s the rules. Your sleeping pattern will be right as rain from tomorrow if you do that.’
She was thankful that day one of the itinerary involved checking into a hotel in the centre of Brisbane and relaxing by the pool. The next few sunny days were a whirlwind. Karl and Shelley were the perfect hosts. Jess experienced the delights of Hastings Street in Noosa, with its tempting boutiques, restaurants and funky pavement bistros. She was delighted to see her brother so happy and relaxed. At twenty-seven, Shelley was ten years Karl’s junior. They were completely compatible in every sense and it made Jess wonder why even now in the twenty-first century, it was still deemed more acceptable for a man to date a younger woman rather than vice versa.
After spending a day in Noosa, they then travelled back down South along the Pacific Highway to the Gold Coast for a few days and then spent an amazing day at Byron Bay. Jess was enthralled as they watched dolphins playing in the surf from their lighthouse viewpoint and laughed heartily as they ate carrot cake in The Twisted Sister Café.
She was having a marvellous time, but every time they visited a new place all she could think about was Dan. She wished he was there, to share all these new experiences with her. She was annoyed at herself that she couldn’t get him out of her head and kept trying to tell herself that it wouldn’t have worked. However, she had a constant niggling in the back of her mind that the love between them was so strong that it was just meant to be. She loved him and that was that.
After two weeks Karl and Shelley had to go back to work, so Jess had bravely decided to go off for a couple of days on her own.
The natural beauty of Fraser Island took Jess’s breath away as she walked through the impressive rain forest. She craned her neck to try and see the tops of the trees and thought how lucky all the noisy wildlife around her was, to be living in such a beautiful environment. She had never ever seen such a long expanse of bright white sand and clear blue water before. Her tour guide was fun and informed and, as she got back in the red 4x4 with her Dutch and American travel companions, she felt happier and more relaxed than she had done in a long time.
There was to be a party on the beach tonight, all the other groups who were staying in the same hostel were invited. Jess slung on a pair of khaki shorts and a white vest and closed the door of her dorm. Her room mates, all in their twenties, had decided not to bother showering after the day’s adventures and headed straight to the bar. She followed the red glow of the campfire, and as she turned a corner could hear a Counting Crows track drifting across the sand dunes.
‘Hey Jess.’
She strained to see who was greeting her and was pleased to see it was Jurgen, one of the Dutch guys from her group. ‘Come and join us.’ Jurgen was around six-feet-three. The fringe of his blonde hair flopped over one eye and he had a funny habit of flicking it back with his index finger. He had been making Jess laugh all day by mimicking the Americans. Jess had glanced at him on the tour earlier. She loved the way the hairs on his brown muscular legs had turned completely blond in the sun. She’d also for some reason been drawn to his crotch. What was it with her attraction for these younger men?
The music was cranked up and the beer and wine were flowing. Jurgen passed her a joint. She took a big toke and then wandered to a quiet sand dune so that she could just lie and look at the stars. She was in mid-thought about how wonderful it would be if Dan appeared over the hill, when somebody flopped down next to her.
‘Mind if I join you?’ It was Jurgen.
‘Sure,’ Jess said dreamily, she was enjoying feeling so floaty and relaxed.
‘Having fun?’ he continued.
‘Yeah, I’ve had an amazing day.’
He lay down next to her. ‘I love the stars.’ he announced suddenly. His English was perfect. ‘It makes me realise that we are such a small part of this huge universe.’
Jess prayed that he wouldn’t start going on about Stephen Hawking or Einstein. She had to admit this was one thing about Dan she didn’t miss, his relativity fetish. They lay there in silence enjoying the night sky above.
‘Focus on a star, Jess, pick the brightest one,’ Jurgen suddenly announced.
Jess looked hard at the sky. ‘I’ve got one.’
‘Now concentrate hard and make a wish,’ Jurgen continued. ‘Next time there is a full moon your wish will come true.’
Jess laughed and wished with all her might that Dan would come back to her one day. ‘You should be Italian not Dutch coming out with romantic notions like that, young man.’
Jurgen sat up on one arm and looked intently at her in the moonlight. The waves were crashing on the shore in the distance. ‘Jess, do you mind if I kiss you?’
Jess, slightly stoned and drunk, giggled. Without waiting for a reply, he leant down and kissed her tenderly. His lips were soft and warm, and she enjoyed the thrill of his tongue gently exploring her mouth. He gently lifted her vest and began exploring her breasts. Jess squirmed at the pleasure of this physical contact, after not having any for so long. She could feel his excitement beneath his shorts. He gently undid her zip and slid his fingers inside her. They writhed around on the sand exploring each other’s bodies.
‘I want to fuck you.’ Jurgen suddenly said bluntly. He rolled on top of her and tried to push himself into her.
‘No, stop!’ Jess shouted, pushing him off and jumping up.
Jurgen raised himself up on his elbow, shocked at Jess’s outburst. ‘Jess what, what is it?’
‘I can’t do this.’ She started to cry.
‘It’s OK. Don’t cry. I’m sorry. I just got caught up in the moment. I thought you wanted to as well.’
‘No, Jurgen, I’m the one who should be sorry. You’re great, it’s just I’m really raw from a recent break up that’s all.’ She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and whispered. ‘I still love him.’ She felt foolish that she had got herself in this position and was pleased that Jurgen had acted like a gentleman, or heaven knows what would have happened.
He put his arm on hers gently. ‘Jessy, you can’t stop a river flowing to the sea. If it’s meant to be, he’ll come back to you.’
‘Thank you, Jurgen, that is so sweet of you.’
He got up off of the sand, kissed her cheek softly, and slowly walked back to the group.
Jess lay on her hard dormitory bed sobbing. How could she have so little self-respect and so readily give herself to another man, especially when she was so in love with Dan. She knew that it was madness, but she felt like she was betraying him. She didn’t want to sleep with anyone else in case it dulled the memory of the wonderful lovemaking she had experienced with him on the boat on their last night.