‘I’m sure he’s having an affair, Em.’ Jess took a big slurp of tea and ran her fingers through her sleek bob. She kicked off her trainers and relaxed back into the kitchen chair. She still looked far younger than her years and, despite giving birth at forty-five, had still managed to restore and maintain her trim figure. ‘It’s my bloody fiftieth birthday party on Saturday too. I really can’t be bothered with it, all that playing happy families shit.’
Suddenly, there was a scream from the garden and Emma’s daughter Laura came running in. She was now twelve, going on twenty-two, and loved mothering five-year-old Freya whenever Jess came round to see her mum. ‘Freya just fell off the swing.’ Laura panted.
Freya appeared at the back door with a tear-streaked face. Her nose was red from the cold March air. ‘Mummy, I hurt myself.’
‘Let’s have a look at you, darling girl,’ Jess said calmly.
Freya was very pretty, with dark brown wavy hair and the biggest blue eyes. Jess and her husband had been the happiest people alive when they found out she was pregnant. And, when their little bundle of loveliness appeared, she suddenly felt she was now complete as a woman. Motherhood suited her.
Plasters in position and an orange squash later, silence in the kitchen resumed.
‘Now where were we?’ Jess continued.
‘Ah, just the slight issue that you think your husband is having an affair,’ Em replied. ‘It amazes me that it’s even in your head. In my eyes, you and Sam have always seemed to have the perfect relationship.’
‘Perfect. I bet you never thought the words perfect, relationship, and Jessica Morley would ever go together, did you?’ Jess smiled.
Emma laughed at her matter-of-fact friend. Jess had always had the wildest of relationships, so when Sam Beresford had proposed she was as happy for Jess as Jess was herself. Sam was a good man. He was thoughtful and kind and offered Jess the friendship and respect that she so rightly deserved. ‘So come on what’s changed? You both seemed fine when you came over for dinner last month,’ Emma enquired.
‘We haven’t had sex for two months. I mean, we usually only do it about once a month anyway, but well I had a few wines and started coming on to him the other night and he literally pushed me away. Said he was tired.’
‘Oh, Jess, if that’s it I really don’t think you need to get a private detective yet. If I was given a pound for the times Mark said he was tired, I’d be a millionaire by now.Aand we’re not getting any younger; he probably was tired.’
‘I think I was born horny.’ Jess laughed but then continued in a sombre tone. ‘Every Sunday morning now as well, he says he’s going off to get the papers and is gone for around two hours. I question him when he comes back and he says that he wanted to enjoy the morning air and had gone off for a long walk.’
‘Again, Jess, maybe he did go for a walk! Where on earth is he going to go for hot passion on a Sunday morning? Be realistic.’
‘Yes I suppose. He just seems to be acting a bit odd lately that’s all. He stays late a lot more with work than he used to, and he is away at least one weekend a month.’
‘Jess, he has always been like that. You know the nature of the events business, you worked in it yourself for long enough. You’re just noticing it more now as you’re feeling sensitive.’
‘I guess you’re right, Em. It has never been the conventional nine to five relationship in that respect. He hasn’t surprised me for a while either.’
‘You’ve just been spoilt, Jess, it’s not as easy to be whisked away for romantic weekends with a little one in tow, you know that.’
‘I know. Maybe I am being silly. I was going to talk to him but you’re right, it does seem ridiculous. Sam wouldn’t hurt me. I’ve never known anyone love me like he does.’
It had taken Jess a long time to realise that Sam was the man she had wanted to spend the rest of her life with. He had wined and dined her and showered her with gifts. It had been a year-long courtship, before she had even slept with him. Mainly because she was so used to turmoil in a relationship, the balance with Sam actually threw her off kilter. Her age old commitment phobia came to the fore, but in the end it was a classic case of love being friendship that’s been set on fire, and Sam delightedly won her over. There had never been any real passion, just a slow-burning love that eventually Jess realised would offer her the contentment and family she so desperately had craved for. There had not been a day in their eight year marriage that Sam had not made her feel special or wanted.
They shared a beautiful cottage in the Berkshire countryside and, since having Freya, she no longer had to work. In fact her childhood dream of living in a rose-covered cottage with a perfect family had been fulfilled, Aapart from having a cat as Sam was allergic to them.
‘It’s hard to swallow but, as time goes by, it’s not all passion and red roses.’ Em continued.
‘God, I wish it was though,’ Jess replied. ‘I love Sam and I love being a family with Freya, but sometimes I have to admit I do think is this it now? It’s like there is still something missing, like I’m looking for something else but I don’t know what it is.’
Emma sighed. ‘Do you know what? I feel like that some days too. Mark goes off to work, I get up do the school run, go to my part-time job, do the school run again, cook dinner for the kids, wash up, cook dinner for us, clear up, and go to bed.’ Jess smiled knowingly. ‘But do you know what Jess. I wouldn’t change my life for the world. I adore our kids and even though he annoys the arse off me sometimes, I wouldn’t want to be with anyone but Mark. Anyway, let’s cheer up; we’ve got your party to look forward to.’
Jess groaned. ‘You know what Sam’s like. Everything has to be perfect. We’ve got a huge marquee arriving today, which is to be attached to the conservatory, big heaters the lot. The hugest glitter ball you’ve ever seen and the cheesiest 80s band.’
‘Sounds great!’ Em interjected.
‘Yes I suppose it will be. He’s excited too as he says as well as being my birthday, it’s the anniversary of us. I couldn’t work out why, then suddenly remembered our drunken snog on the night of my fortieth.’
‘God, do you remember that?’ Em piped up. ‘Ken Dodd the DJ, he was hilarious.’
Jess laughed. ‘I was so in love with that whippersnapper Dan then. Isn’t it funny how time changes everything? I never thought I’d ever get over him. Bloody hell I was crazy about that boy though. I do have to say that nothing has ever matched the passion I had with him. It was electric.’
‘I can’t remember now if you ever saw him again after you split?’ Emma questioned.
‘No, never did. I was so relieved that the year Sam proposed Dan evidently moved to London to work with a firm of web designers there, so there was never any awkwardness at Lemon.’
‘That’s right. Have you ever mentioned it to Sam?’
‘God, no. I didn’t think there was any need. I mean can you imagine him knowing that I was fraternising with one of his junior staff? I don’t think he’d have dealt with it too well, you know what a proud man he is.’
‘Isn’t it funny when you think back?’ Emma laughed and continued. ‘And going back to your concern, I think it’s highly unlikely your lovely husband is having an affair. I mean look at the effort he’s making for your birthday. He loves you, mate, so stop worrying.’
Freya came charging into the kitchen. ‘Guess what, Mummy?’
‘Tell me, Freya Beya?’ Jess scooped her precious daughter into her arms.
‘I love you a million thousand dollars.’
Jess tickled her daughter’s tummy playfully. ‘And I love you more than pink milkshake.’