Jess finished watching the lunchtime news, wrapped herself up warm and put on her walking boots. She loved the walk across the cliffs from Looe to Polperro. In fact she knew the path like the back of her hand as she and Sam had followed this route hundreds of times. She stopped periodically to sit on benches along the route, taking in the magnificent views of the ocean as she did so. Gulls winged overhead and she noticed a myriad of colours in the hedgerows, as flowers started greeting the spring sunshine.
For the first time in a few days she felt calm. It had been the best thing she could have done, to remove herself from the situation at home totally. She admitted to herself that she and Sam had fallen into a comfortable rut. She realised that the lack of passion in their relationship wasn’t just down to him. Since Freya had been born, no longer did she seduce him. More often than not she was so tired, that she would just pull on her old pyjamas, grab her book from the bedside table, read, and go to sleep. However, this still didn’t excuse the fact that he had betrayed her. She wished that they had talked, before he had decided to stray. She didn’t even realise he was feeling frustrated, but that was Sam all over. He would go with the flow. If she had asked him to make love to her he would have done, but damn maybe he should have tried to instigate it for once, rather than go elsewhere. She cringed at the thought of him sleeping with Cherry. But on the other hand was quite relieved. From first impressions, Cherry didn’t seem a particularly nice person. At least she could be comforted that he had gone with her just for sex and nothing more. It almost seemed more acceptable somehow.
She walked down into Polperro harbour, relishing the quietness and picture postcard beauty of this pretty village. She adored Cornwall out of season. In a week, she knew this would all change. The Easter throng would be among them and you would have to almost push your way through the streets, amass with ice cream wielding children and would-be surfers. She walked slowly around the tiny streets, marvelling at the pretty little cottages with their tiny front doors and different coloured window frames. She moseyed amongst the many gift shops with their meaningless trinkets and checked out fleeces in a surf shop. It had seemed like years since she could actually just be her. Jessy Morley, independent woman and not part of a family. Although she already missed Freya, she had to admit she liked the feeling.
She bought a freshly made pasty and a cup of tea and wandered to sit up on a high bench, overlooking the harbour and the ocean. She looked down and noticed a good-looking lad tending to a fishing boat. He must have been in his mid-twenties. He was weather beaten and very handsome. The same age as Dan when she had met him, she thought. She had tried to push recent thoughts of Dan to the back of her mind. When they had split up all those years ago, it had taken her a year to get over him properly. Sam’s attentiveness and love had obviously helped. Throughout that year, she would wish with all her might for him to come back into her life. In fact, she would have done literally anything to just spend one more night with him. She had been so completely head over heels in love with him then. The only time since she had really thought about him was when she fell pregnant with Freya. She realised then it was how it was supposed to be, with a supporting loving husband and secure environment for a child. She also did think with sadness that she would have had a brother or sister for Freya if she hadn’t gone ahead with the termination. But in fate’s path, Sam may not have even entertained seeing her if she had somebody else’s child. Who knows how her life would have panned out then? Yes, Dan had made her heart flip when she had seen him last week, but she had now put that down the shock of it. She probably wouldn’t even see him again now. Charlie was always so busy and, with the relationship being so new, anything could happen. If things developed, she would worry about it then. In her eyes, she had no unfinished business with Daniel Harris. He had been the love of her life but that was that. He was history. It was her life, here and now, that she needed to address.
She walked down through the gloaming, from her hilltop viewpoint, and decided to have a drink in The Blue Peter. A fire was roaring as she entered the cosy pub and it brought back memories of her and Sam snuggled together, drinking Scrumpy and finishing many a Sunday paper crossword in here. For old time’s sake she ordered a pint of the strong cloudy cider and found a comfy seat in the corner, in which to read her acquired newspaper. There were just a couple of ruddy-faced locals drinking at the bar, and a flea-bitten black Labrador lying down in front of the fire. She relished in the anonymity of it all. It was eight o’clock by the time she had finished her second pint of Scrumpy and she actually felt quite drunk. She shakily walked to the bar.
‘Another?’ The young Dutch barman enquired. Jess in her drunken haze thought that she recognised him, then realised he looked very much like Jurgen whom she had met all those years ago in Australia. ‘No’, she laughed. ‘I’d better not; you’ll be fishing me out of the harbour; that cider of yours has gone straight to my head.’
‘Oh go on, it’s nice to have some fresh female company this time of year,’ the Jurgen lookalike urged.
Jess could sense him flirting with her and it flattered her greatly. ‘Maybe another day.’
‘Do you live here then?’
Jess could feel herself looking the young man up and down.’ No, I’ve got a cottage in Looe, just having an extended break.’ She went to walk out of the door and suddenly turned back. ‘Look at me, I came up to the bar to ask if you had a taxi number and off I go wandering out the door.’ The charm of the young man had thrown her off kilter slightly. It was wonderful to feel fancied and fancy free.
‘I’m doing a split-shift tonight, I could give you a lift at nine if you like?’ the young man offered.
Jess hesitated. ‘That’s really kind of you but I really better be going.’
She got into the taxi. He could only have been late twenties she thought, and was oh-so very handsome. She smiled to herself, delighted that she still had what it took. If Sam wasn’t to be her future, she knew damn well that the next best thing would be just around the corner.
She lay back in the taxi, feeling slightly woozy. The full moon lit up the harbour. The tide was way out and boats precariously listed, awaiting their watery support. She thought fondly of her trip to Australia and Jurgen. He had been such a gentleman amidst her trauma, and she had never forgotten the romantic words he had said to her as she had walked away from him: You can’t stop a river flowing to the sea.
She got out of the car at the bottom of the hill to the cottage, thinking the walk in the fresh air would clear her fuzzy head. As she turned into her quiet lane, she noticed a car parked right behind hers with the lights on. She approached nervously as it didn’t seem right somehow. She had a torch in her handbag and held it at the ready. She bravely approached the car and as she did so she heard classical music drifting out from the half open window. In true Charlie’s Angels style, she shone her torch right into the would-be offender’s eyes.
‘Jess, Jess, it’s OK, it’s me.’ Her heart leapt into her mouth.
‘Dan? What the fuck are you doing here?’