‘Jess, Jess, wake up.’ Dan shook Jess’s arm gently. ‘I have to go. It’s Evie, she’s been taken ill.’
Jess groaned. ‘What time is it?’ she said dozily, not registering what Dan had just said. In her half asleep, drunken state, she hadn’t even heard the hotel phone ring.
‘It’s 4 a.m. Look I’m gonna have to take your car.’ Jess half opened her eyes.
‘Jess, did you hear me!’ Dan said loudly, turning the light on and rushing to pull his clothes on.
‘Turn it off!’ Jess murmured moodily. Dan lost his patience and shouted. ‘Jess, my daughter is in hospital, I’m taking your car. I have to go now.’
Jess came to her senses. ‘Evie, oh my God, what’s wrong with her? Which hospital? Do you want me to come with you?’
Dan rushed towards the door, pulling a shoe on as he did so. ‘She just woke up with terrible stomach pains and has been violently sick. She’s at Wexham Park in Slough. Turn your mobile on. I’ll call you as soon as I’ve got some news.’
Within minutes of the bedroom door shutting behind an anxious Dan, Jess was up, washed and packed. She was ashamed of herself for not supporting Dan in his hour of need. She asked the concierge to get her a cab. Her hangover was so bad, that she embarrassingly had to ask the driver to pull in to Heston Services so that she could be sick. ‘Never again,’ she whimpered as she crawled back in to the waiting vehicle.
An hour later she walked up to the hospital reception. She had downed a litre of water in the taxi and was beginning to feel slightly better. ‘Good morning, I wonder if you can help me. I’m here to see how Evie Meadows is. She was brought in a few hours ago.’
‘Are you a relative?’ The bespectacled, grey-haired lady behind the counter enquired.
‘Er, yes,’ Jess replied hesitantly, and put her hand to her forehead. She was very pale. ‘Are you OK?’ the receptionist enquired. ‘Yes, yes, sorry,’ Jess added. ‘I just need to go the, the ladies, I’ll be right back.’
Jess headed for the toilet, her head was spinning. Yes, she was a relative. In fact on paper she was Evie’s step-mother and probably even had more of a claim to the beautiful Evie Alexandra Meadows than her beloved Daniel Harris. She felt sick again. All of this was too much to bear. If she really wanted to, then she could legally be entitled to look after the second child that she had always wished for. What a mess!
‘She’s in theatre.’
‘Theatre?’ Jess exclaimed.
‘It’s OK dear, nothing serious. She’s having her appendix out. There is a relative’s waiting room, first floor. You’ll see the signs. Her parents are up there already.’ She pointed to some stairs.
‘Thanks, thanks very much,’ Jess uttered.
Jess hovered outside the waiting room. She could see Dan and Alex sitting next to each other through the glass. She suddenly felt really awkward. It seemed wrong somehow for her to see them together. There were a few seats in the corridor. She sat on one to gain her composure, before she faced them both.
She fleetingly thought back to the night of the Christmas party all of those years ago when Dan had spent the night with her. The fun, the passion. Everything was simple then. She had loved him, loved him with an intensity with which she doubted she’d ever love anyone else again. And here she was sitting here now, almost eleven years on, with the same man in the room next to her, but a million miles away from those heady first days of their relationship.
And here also was Alex Hargreaves, nee Meadows: the woman who had not only slept with Jess’s husband and lover, but had also brought on the death of Sam, plus nearly killed her and her precious Freya. Everything about the situation suddenly seemed very dark, and it was at this precise moment Jess knew her final decision had been made. She had to move on. There were too many secrets, too many betrayals, too much heartache. With a little girl’s lifelong happiness at stake, Jess had to remove herself from this whole situation. A situation that seemed almost dirty. A situation that she didn’t want to be part of anymore. Yes, she loved Dan but not with the blind intensity that she had felt before.
She was older and wiser now. Life was hard enough as it was, without having to live with betrayal. By holding on to this secret she couldn’t give one hundred per cent to Dan, and it would destroy her. By giving it away, she would destroy him and maybe Evie. It was time for Jessica Morley and Freya Beresford to start a new life and find the happiness they truly deserved, without any secrets and without Daniel Harris.
It wasn’t the right time to talk to him now. She would speak to him when Evie was on the mend. Just as she stood up to leave, the door of the waiting room opened and Dan appeared.
‘Jess? You came. Poor little angel, she was in so much pain. She’s having her appendix out as we speak.’ He had tears in his eyes.
Jess couldn’t bear to see Dan looking so sad and held her arms out to him to hug him.
‘I love her so much, Jess.’ he said.
Jess stroked his hair to comfort him, as if he were a small boy. ‘I know you do Dan,’ she soothed, and realised that actually it didn’t matter who Evie’s real father was. Dan would love this little lady more than anyone in the world. And for him not to know the truth, was the right decision. It would most certainly break his heart in two if he knew.
‘I love you too, Jess, you know that don’t you?’ Dan continued.
‘I know, baby, I know,’ Jess replied with tears in her eyes.
‘I have to go now, Dan.’ Jess broke away from their embrace and continued. ‘Have you got my car keys please?’
‘Sure, sure, here they are, but where are you going? Don’t you want to wait and see Evie?’
‘Home, Dan, home. Give Evie all of my love and tell her to be brave and get better very soon.’
‘But you can tell her that yourself, Jess, can’t you? Later or tomorrow?’ Dan’s voice started to crack. Jess was hurting inside. She turned her back and walked towards the stairs. Dan followed her outside. ‘Jess, please don’t leave me like this. I love you so much and Evie does too.’ Jess was now crying. ‘Dan, I have to. Something just doesn’t feel right between us now and I’m not prepared to settle. You were the one who said I was an all or nothing kinda girl.’ She smiled weakly. ‘But, Jess, we can make it work, I know we can. Look at how Freya and Evie get on too. We’ve got our own little family now.’
Jess swallowed hard.
‘You said you loved me,’ Dan whispered.
‘I do, Dan. You are a very special person and don’t you ever forget that, but I’ve made my mind up and there’s no going back.’
‘If this is to do with your age, Jess, like you said last night, then please don’t do this to me, to us.’
Jess shook her head. ‘It’s not just that.’
Dan raised his voice. ‘It shouldn’t be not just that at all. I’ve told you a million times that I love you. God!’ He pulled at his hair with both hands. ‘If we didn’t have bloody passports or birth certificates then there wouldn’t even be an issue. What is it with this society and age!’ An old man in a dressing gown, who’d sneaked outside to have a cigarette, stared at the commotion.
‘Dan, stop! I know you love me, but I’ve got to go now and find my happiness elsewhere. I’m so, so sorry. Goodbye.’