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“See?” Shauna walked toward the bed with her arms crossed after Dee left. “You’re wasting your time, Jonathan.”
“Am I?” He lay beside Asia, massaging her breast.
“Yes.” Shauna looked at the other women. “Detective Quarter will never succumb. She’ll never believe in our mission.” She walked around, stepping on the ends of her dress. “What do you see in her anyway?”
“She belongs with us.” He sucked Asia’s fingertip and she giggled. “Deidra’s mine now.”
“It won’t happen.”
“She stayed, didn’t she?” He propped up his knee. “And, her face told me she enjoyed what she saw. I wasn’t the only one who realized that am I, ladies?”
“No, Jonathan,” they answered, Asia included.
“Tell me.” He gestured to the women. “Do you get the same feeling from her I do?”
“Yes,” Emma said. “From the moment I met her I felt she belonged here.”
Shauna wobbled her head. “I never got that revelation.”
“She doesn’t believe in us now,” Jonathan addressed Shauna. “But, she will. All she needs is to be tamed like all of you were.”
Rena smiled.
“She’s a cop,” Shauna said. “You can’t trust her. She thinks you killed Autumn, remember?”
“No, she doesn’t.” Jonathan climbed on top of Asia, sniffing her sweet skin. “You think she’d keep coming back if she thought I killed Autumn?” He sucked Asia’s nipple, snapping it with his teeth.
“Ow.” She winced, laughing.
“Trust me, Shauna.” He lowered his head, bathing Asia with kisses until he got to her damp mound again. “Once Deidra gets a sample of the life I can provide she’ll leave everything behind.” He bit Asia’s thigh, forcing a tremble. “Including Winston Lewis.”
****
Four nights later, Winston awoke from his sleep to his cell phone vibrating on Dee’s end table beside the bed.
Dee moaned, turning away from him in her sleep.
Winston jiggled his arm from underneath her head, got his phone and checked the ID.
Grayson Paul
Winston groaned as he eased out the bed and tiptoed into the hall in boxer shorts and no shirt. “Grayson?” He closed the bedroom door. “What the hell do you want?”
“I haven’t heard from you so wanted to see if you found out anything about Nelda yet.”
“No, man.” Winston yawned, the hall light burning his eyes. “I was sleep.”
“Sorry, but I’ve been going crazy and you haven’t contacted me.”
“That’s because there’s nothing to tell. I checked out her history and nothing stuck out of the ordinary. She’s been a property manager for ten years and I researched some of her past tenants and they had nothing but good things to say about her.”
“Maybe she has mental issues?”
“I checked up on that too.” Winston shook his head, scratching his stomach. “No history of her being in any institutions or anything. No arrests for any reason either.”
“This makes no sense.” Grayson exhaled. “She looks all Goody Two Shoes on the outside but is setting me up. You think she killed Autumn?”
“If so nothing’s pointing to her yet.”
“I’m afraid she’ll pull something else and I’m sick of going to jail. Please, please keep your eye on her, Winston.”
Winston nodded, half asleep. “I will.”
****
After pacing in front of Dr. Guzman’s door for twenty minutes, Dee decided she should’ve never come and scampered past the empty receptionist’s desk.
“Dee?” Guzman walked from her office. “Well, isn’t this a surprise?”
“Shit.” Dee turned around with a plastered smile. “Hi, there.”
The wrinkles around Guzman’s nose and mouth lifted as she smiled. “How are you?”
“Uh, I’m okay.” Dee rocked, feeling like an idiot. “See you.”
“Hold on.” Guzman clacked up to her in gray heels that matched the flowers in her white skirt. “Are you okay? Lisa told me about your father. I’m very sorry.”
Dee nodded, sucking her lip.
“What’s going on?” Guzman’s pupils spread.
“Nothing.” Dee chuckled, stomach turning. “Why would you think something’s going on?”
“Dee.” Guzman gave her that look parents give children when they’ve caught them doing something wrong. “You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t have a reason.”
“Lisa and Winston have this crazy idea I should come see you. No offense, but I don’t need a shrink.”
“Then why are you here?”
Dee’s jaws filled with air. “I don’t know.”
Guzman grinned. “Maybe your subconscious wanted you to come.”
“Ah.” Dee snickered, waving her finger. “You shrinks are good.” She put her hands in the pockets of her khaki pants. “Already playing the mind games and I ain’t been talking to you even ten minutes.”
“I don’t play mind games, Dee, and I don’t put ideas into people’s heads. Seems like you have a warped idea of what therapists do.”
“Dr. Guzman, I think you’re terrific. You’ve done wonders for Lisa but I’m not Lisa.” Dee tapped her foot. “This therapy thing isn’t me.”
She reminded Dee of a British school mom with her graying ball in a tight bun. “If I had a dime for every time one of my patients said that I’d be rich.”
“I shouldn’t have come here.” Dee exhaled. “I gotta go.”
“Wait now. Come on.” Guzman touched Dee’s arm. “Are you in a hurry?”
“Well, I’m on my lunch break and gotta get back to the station in about thirty minutes.” She checked her watch. “And, you know how lunchtime Baltimore traffic is.”
“My next appointment doesn’t arrive until an hour and a half so we can talk if you want.”
Dee sucked her tongue. “That’s okay.”
“We won’t call this a session or anything. It’ll be off the record.” Guzman smiled. “Call it a test run. See if this might be something that could help you.”
Dee avoided eye contact.
“Dee, there’s nothing to be ashamed of for needing a little help. Let’s go into my office.” Guzman walked in, holding the door open for Dee.
Dee slumped into the office.
Guzman approached her desk beside the wall, everything stacked neat on top of it. “Sit down, please.”
Dee meandered to the polyester, burgundy couch and sat in the middle of it, holding her breath.
Guzman got a large notepad and pencil from her desk.
“Oh god.” Dee’s stomach flip-flopped. “Here you go with the pad. I thought this wasn’t a session.”
“This is for me, not you.” Guzman slipped on her square glasses. “Relax, Dee.”
“I feel like I’m about to be executed.”
“No.” Guzman frowned as she sat on the other couch across from Dee. “We should work on those negative thoughts you have about therapy.” She crossed her legs and fixed her skirt.
“So?” Dee rubbed her hands. “What do I do?”
“Just talk.”
“About what?”
“Anything you want to talk about. I’m here to listen to you.”
“I’m empty.”
Guzman pushed her glasses up and jotted. “In what way?”
Dee’s brow sweated. “I’m not into—”
“Talking to people about your problems?”
“I’m always the one people go to for advice and things.”
“Most times people who are always listening to others never listen to themselves.”
The muscles clenched in Dee’s face. “You’re not the first person to tell me that.”
Guzman wrote, chuckling.
“I shouldn’t be feeling this way because my career is going well and I’m in a great relationship. I should be happier than anyone.”
“But, you aren’t?”
“Something’s just missing.” Dee held back tears. “And, I feel so guilty for thinking that.”
“You shouldn’t feel guilty for your emotions. Just because things are going well, it doesn’t mean it stops pain or longing.”
“But, what could I be longing for? I have everything.”
“Maybe what you long for is emotional and not physical or material.”
Dee sat back, squinting.
“Were you this way before your Dad passed?”
“Yes, it started when Lisa left the department.”
Guzman nodded, scribbling. “You ever had this empty feeling before?”
“Yeah.” She cleared her throat. “When my mom passed, I remember having it. She died when I was fourteen.”
“That’s a time when a child needs her mother the most.” Guzman looked at her through her lashes. “Any other times you’ve been empty?”
Dee moved her mouth from side to side. “Yeah, when relationships would end or friends moved away. Stuff like that.”
“The common thread seems to be whenever someone leaves you. Do you see the pattern?”
Dee pinched the tip of her nose, exhaling. “Since you mention it.”
“Are you afraid to be alone, Dee?”
“Isn’t everyone?”
“Do you think you have an unnatural fear of it? Do you imagine life without anyone you care for? Let me put out a scenario.” Guzman waved the pencil. “What if everyone in your inner circle disappeared, and you never saw them again? What would happen to you?”
“I’d be alone. I wouldn’t have anyone.”
“You wouldn’t have those people, sure. But, there will always be someone there, Dee.”
“What do you mean?”
“We’re going to lose people we care about. That’s life. But, just because certain people disappear, it doesn’t mean we are ever alone. As long as you’re alive on this big earth, you won’t be alone. There will always be someone to love you and for you to love. Does that make sense?”
“Damn.” Dee rubbed her hair. “I never looked at it that way.”
“You have an irrational fear of being alone like many people do. I’d like to dig further into this.”
“I can’t right now.” Dee stood. “Gotta get back.”
“How about you think on this arrangement and see if it will help you?” Guzman took off her glasses. “I’m already seeing underground issues that would help if you work through them.”
Dee nodded on her way out the door. “I’ll think about it.”