Keira
I’m finally with Noah. He called me to him. I don’t like that he knows he has that power over me, but I’ll file that worry away for now since I can’t believe he actually called me despite Lucifer’s wishes. When I think of it, excitement bubbles from the tip of my head to my toes and all I want to do is kiss him.
So I do.
In between kisses, he tells me about Lucifer’s plans and how he glamoured Emily. He tells me how I’m the only one he wants and that she’s nothing compared to me.
So I kiss him again.
“The only thing I’m not sure about,” he says as I nuzzle his throat, “is what to do about Grace.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, working my way over his ear then turning his face toward mine so that our breath mingles. The feel of his stubble against my palm sends currents of anticipation through me.
“Well, she’s around now, you know? She still thinks she can get to me and, like, I don’t know, make me her good little brother or something.”
I tangle my fingers in his wild, golden hair. “And why do you think that upsets you so much when you know you’ve won?” I guess I was hoping he’d be okay with Gracie being around. Ever since she listened to me when I asked her for help protecting Noah, well, I’ve gotten kind of used to her. And I trust her love for Noah. All she wants to do is help him.
“I just don’t want to see her. I want to forget she ever existed, just like what I wished for my parents.” He pulls me in for a deep kiss, and by the time he pulls back to keep talking, I’ve forgotten the subject.
But he hasn’t. “It’s just that it was weird seeing her there, a slave to Lucifer. She sacrificed her soul for the brother she wanted, not the brother she has. Why can’t she see that? Why can’t she just accept me for who I am?”
I draw a deep breath and stand, stretching. “She’s learning now that even good people do bad things. It’s a tough lesson for her, but she’ll get it.”
“It’s too late, though.” Noah sounds sad.
“Too late for what?” I ask, pulling on his jersey and inhaling the scent he’s left behind.
“To go back to where she belongs.”
I snort. “Who’s to say where anyone belongs? Grace was the most Angelic person I’ve ever met, and now look at her.”
Noah stands, gathering me back toward him, but when I lift my face for another makeout session, I meet an expression so hard it could be made of stone.
“What do you mean, ‘now look at her’?” he asks, grip tightening on my arms. It doesn’t hurt, but I’m not slipping away easily.
I cock my head, not sure yet how I feel about this version of Noah. It’s exciting, but a little too close to the person I worry he’ll become. And now he has power over me, a fact that won’t seem to stop bothering me. “Are you sure the Boss isn’t listening?” I ask in a whisper.
“I know when he’s here,” Noah says, glancing at his closet. “I can’t explain it, but it’s like the blood in my veins pumps harder. It doesn’t hurt…more like a weird feeling. So tell me.”
I nod and answer his question about Grace. “She’s taken every bite of bait Lucifer’s set out for her. She hasn’t fought or struggled as far as I can tell; all it takes is a tiny bit of torture and she just reasons it away like every other unlucky SOB I’ve ever corrupted.”
Noah seems to realize he’s gripping me too tightly and immediately pulls me into a much more comfortable position. I sigh, burying my face against the contours of his chest until I find his heartbeat.
“Why is Lucifer doing that? Is he trying to impress me by making her do things she doesn’t want to do? I already told him I wasn’t interested in having her as a servant.” His voice vibrates against my cheek as I listen, pressed against him.
“I think he truly wants revenge. He says he never forgets a transgression, and she beat him once. You don’t best the Devil and get away with it. It’s a cold, hard fact, Noah. Which is why I worry when you do stuff like demand things from Lucifer that you know he doesn’t want to give.”
“Baby, you aren’t a thing.” He dips me, making me squeal, and grins an adorable grin that makes my heart rate triple. “And this is different. I am Lucifer’s equal. In fact, I think I’m the slightly better, more modern version. Don’t you agree?”
The words frighten me, but I let a giggle escape anyway. Maybe it’s the way he wiggles his eyebrows. “Yeah,” I breathe. “Yeah, you’re definitely the better model. Just don’t make me admit that to him.” I can’t admit to Noah that, as much as I care about him, he’s no match for Lucifer.
Noah scoops me into his arms and carries me to the couch while I kiss him deeply, but my mind winds back to Grace and how I left her to deal with Randy. I try to shake her out of my thoughts while Noah works his mouth down my stomach, but I remember what Lucifer wants of her, and it isn’t just to help him con the casino. I know Lucifer—he wants to break her completely, and the best way to do that is to make her cheat on Josh. I can’t help but imagine her face; so pale and innocent when I first met her with Josh in the library.
Damn it! Focus, Keira. I’ve been waiting for this since we were interrupted by the little Angel herself. But as Noah kisses each of my fingertips, I recall the burnt flesh of my finger and how Grace healed me, and I remember how she’s grown on me.
I push away from Noah and sit up on the bed feeling like I’m going to puke.
“You okay?” he asks, sitting beside me, all concerned.
“Yeah. It’s just… I’ve never felt this before, but I don’t like it.” I can’t name the emotion and that bothers me even more.
Noah presses a palm against my forehead, like he’s afraid I’m ill. Demons can’t get sick, but I sure feel like it. I’m still nauseous. I pull a pillow over to hug.
“What happened?” he asks, so sincerely concerned it makes normally pleasant butterflies flutter around amid all the chaos in my stomach.
“I was thinking about what you said. About Grace. And then I felt…funny.”
Noah narrows his eyes at me. “Are you feeling sorry for my sister?”
No. Am I? That’s ridiculous. Though I guess that’s why I was so angry at Lucifer when I saw how he’d trussed her up like a whore. I thought it was just because I was thinking of myself, but maybe…
“I… I keep thinking about how Lucifer has her with my assignment, and how I came right when you called but left her there.” I tell him everything I’m thinking because I need someone to help me make sense of this.
“You feel guilty about leaving her to do Lucifer’s bidding without you.” Noah laughs and settles back, like it’s all a big joke. Well, it doesn’t feel very funny.
“Ugh. If this is guilt, I don’t like it. No wonder Angels always seem so uptight. They’re trying to keep from spewing their lunch,” I mumble. “Why on Earth would I be guilty, anyway? Grace made her own decision. I told her not to do it, but she didn’t listen. It’s not my responsibility. It’s not my fault Lucifer’s torturing her. Damn her! She’s contagious.”
I realize what I’ve said a minute too late. Noah stops laughing and strokes the stubble on his face. “You told her not to fall?” he asks.
“Well, yeah. Lucifer sent me to retrieve her, but I panicked. I wanted to be with you, and I didn’t care how. I told her she’d be a slave down here, but I thought maybe upstairs there’d be something to, you know…help you.” I clear my throat, waiting for the rage.
Noah sits quietly for a minute, though, eyes dark and brow furrowed so that he looks much older than his sixteen years. “You mean, like, make me repent so I wouldn’t be the Antichrist anymore or something? How would that help us be together?” he asks.
“I wasn’t thinking straight. I thought… I think… I just didn’t want…” I pull in a deep breath, trying to steady myself so I can spit it out. Finally, I hug the pillow tighter, pulling my knees up close and staring at my hands. “I didn’t want you to become him. I love you, and I didn’t want to lose who you are.”
There. I said it. Out loud. I could use a drink. Even so, I stay still until I feel his hand brush my cheek.
“You won’t lose me, Keira. I have no desire to be like Lucifer. In fact, I don’t think he’s doing such a fantastic job. For starters, if I were in charge, you’d rule beside me. You’re a queen, Keira, not a servant. Who knows? Maybe I will be in charge one day.”
I draw a sharp breath, eyes snapping to meet his. My stomach flutters for a whole new reason, but this time it’s about us. Me, a queen. What a beautiful thought.
But I know Lucifer. I’ve known him for centuries, and as much as I want to believe in Noah, I can’t picture anyone succeeding if they tried to take over. Nor can I bear the thought of Noah in the Pit for all of eternity if he fails. But how can I explain that to Noah without losing him? He’ll think I don’t “believe” in him.
“Keira?”
I haven’t moved. I’m not even sure if I’ve blinked. But since I have no words to explain what I’m thinking, I do what I know I’m good at and throw my arms around him, tackling him to the mattress and drowning any more treasonous talk with kisses.
“I wonder,” Noah says as I explore every ridge on his chest, “if I can send her back when I take over. So I don’t have to see her.”
“Hmm?” I ask, focused on his body.
“Grace.”
“Oh.” I stop and roll onto my back next to him. It seems Grace is going to come between us in bed whether we like it or not. “If you were in charge, you could take away her Demon status. But you can’t send her back to Heaven, and she—” I stop before I let the words escape.
“She what?” he asks, leaning on his elbow to see my face. He has that hard look again.
“It’s just that I can’t imagine her being tortured in Hell for all of eternity,” I say, my voice breaking, whether from fear of how he’ll react or the actual thought of Grace being tortured, I’m not sure anymore.
But he softens and his eyes glaze over like he’s seeing something that isn’t there. “Those are the only two choices in Hell?” He sounds young again. He flip-flops so fast, it’s hard to catch up. Or maybe it’s all the years of bitterness and pain I’ve experienced since my death that make his perspective seem so naïve.
“And not many people get the choice that I did. For them, it’s all or nothing. You know, once you die, if you were bad, that’s it. Torture forever. Punishment for your sins. For the rest of eternity. It doesn’t feel right to me, but what more could there be? It’s Hell.”
Noah’s lips turn up at the corners. “I’d like to see it.”
“Well, you can’t. Not until you’re dead, and I don’t want that to happen any time soon. Then you won’t be Lucifer’s equal.” And therein lies the seed of my fear. Lucifer is tricky and if Noah were to die somehow… Can the Antichrist die? If Lucifer isn’t happy and wants a different one, maybe…
“If I were in charge, I’d change things,” Noah declares. He’s so confident, which only worries me more. And I don’t want to imagine him dying at Lucifer’s hand. I can’t. All I want is to feel his body against mine.
“Kiss me,” I answer.
He obeys.