I’m never going to write again!!!!!!!!!!!!
Uncle Harold, who is this really smart dog I live with who’s written all these books about our rabbit, Bunnicula, who our cat, Chester (who is also really smart), says is a vampire because . . .
I forget what I was trying to say.
Proof! I can’t write! I’m never going to write again!!!!!!!!!!!!
Uncle Harold (who isn’t really my uncle, I just call him that) says that he’s gotten lots of bad reviews and that I shouldn’t let one bad review get to me. Ha! Easy for him to say. He’s been writing for a katrillion years and his books have sold a katrillion copies, even if he has gotten some stinko reviews. But I’ve written only three books. I’ve just gotten started. Nobody will want to read my books after what Canine Quarterly – my former favorite magazine in the whole world!!! – had to say:
Howie Monroe writes with energy and a sense of humor, but he is a literary lightweight. Pack his books to while away the time when you’re going for an extended stay at the kennel, but don’t be looking for him to win the Newbony Award any time soon.
A literary lightweight!!!!!!!!!!!!
Would a literary lightweight know how to use as many adjectives as I do? Or–exclamation points!!!?
Oh, what’s the use? If I’m never going to win the Newbony Award, why should I even bother to write?
I wonder what the Newbony Award is.