On the bright side, the sound of the siren wasn’t announcing a visit from the intergalactic emergency services.
It’s much, much worse than that.
‘Welcome, Dadventurers!’
Brandishing the crimson-red klaxon that has brought us all here, the outdoor instructor greets us with a fresh-faced smile.
‘And welcome, Kidsplorers too. My name’s Flip Foxley and I’m here to show you the ropes on this Dads and Kids’ Adventure Weekend.’
Sitting down next to my dad, I sneak a look at the rest of the campers now gathered on the wooden benches under the roof of this giant tent. When Mum said we’d get some father-son bonding time on this trip, I didn’t think it was going to be with a load of other dads and kids too. There are tall dads, short dads, bald dads and bearded dads, each one sitting in a pair with their own ‘kidsplorer’. I recognize some of my friends from school, Amba giving me a sneaky wave whilst her dad’s gaze stays fixed on his mobile phone. Damon’s here too, his dad nudging him to attention as Flip Foxley continues to speak.
‘Now, modern life can be filled with distractions: smartphones, games consoles, TV box sets and viral videos,’ Flip says, his confident manner daring anyone to disagree. ‘But here at the Getaway Experience, you’ll put all these distractions to one side and focus instead on making memories that will last a lifetime.’
With a click of his fingers, Flip holds out his hand for Amba’s dad’s phone.
Mr Flixton hands this over with a grumbling apology. ‘Sorry, I was just checking my work email.’
‘All work and no play makes for a dull dad,’ Flip says with a cheeky grin as he pockets the mobile phone. He turns towards Amba and fires a question straight at her. ‘Do you want a dad who checks emails or climbs trees?’
‘Climbs trees!’ Amba grins.
‘And is your dad snoring boring?’ Flip asks, spinning round to face Damon. ‘Or is he brave enough to go zorbing?’
‘Zorbing!’ Damon shouts.
Flip dances round the yurt, firing out his questions like a laser blaster. Build a campfire or fix the boiler? Sleep under the stars or clean the car? Every question he asks sends the excitement levels rising even higher until Flip’s standing right in front of me.
‘And how about you?’ he asks, doing a sudden double-take as he glances across at my dad. ‘Do you want an ordinary dad or a dad who’s out of this world?’
I shake my head as I turn to look at the embarrassment sitting next to me. Everybody else’s dad is wearing a sensible fleece or a waterproof jacket – the perfect gear for a camping weekend – but my dad seems to be dressed in a spacesuit. Well, it’s not exactly a spacesuit, but a one-piece ski suit made out of the same shiny silver material. Dad says this reflects the heat inside, keeping him toasty and warm. I think it makes him look like a jacket potato. The shiny foil rustles as Dad turns towards me with a hopeful smile.
I just want an ordinary dad, but how can I say this now?
‘Out of this world,’ I finally sigh.
‘OK then,’ Flip grins as he claps his hands together. ‘It’s time for some close encounters of the fun kind. Dadventurers and Kidsplorers, it’s time to reach for the stars.’