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What Is Procrastination?

Everybody delays doing something, but not every delay is procrastination. There are good reasons why we put off certain tasks. Sometimes we don’t have the supplies or the information we need. Other times we don’t have the money. Most of the time, the honest reasons for delay are due to a shifting of priorities.

With small priorities, this is an ongoing process. A friend has a flat tire and is stranded at the mall, so you put down your project and head to her rescue. Or changes in priority can be big, like when our family adopted two girls from Africa and discovered their needs went beyond what we had anticipated. That act of obedience caused me to stop pursuing dreams I’d had for years as I set aside one set of goals and replaced them with another.

Life is full of surprises. Those that make us smile with delight, the everyday variety that feel mundane, and those that bring us to our knees.

A wise woman knows when it’s time to put the brakes on a project and turn to the needs God has placed in front of her. The Bible tells many stories of people whose lives were redirected. One example in the New Testament is the story Jesus told about the Good Samaritan who took a detour to tend to a wounded man. Caring for a beaten and bruised stranger was certainly not on the Samaritan’s agenda. Jesus used this story to show us the importance of putting the needs of our neighbors above our own at times.

Blessed are those who listen and watch for what new thing God is about.

Procrastination, however, is a completely different issue.

We might blame the surprise need as the cause of our delay, but true procrastination involves a voluntary delay of something we could do but choose not to. Although it might include a shifting of priorities, its root cause is our resistance toward the task.

In other words, procrastination is an intentional delay of something that is in our best interest to do. For instance, it is in my best interest to exercise. And I could do it. I have an affordable gym membership. I can make time in my day. But the truth is, I don’t like exercise. There’s not even a sport I like to play.

Some people talk about feeling great once they start working out. In fact, studies show exercise releases feel-good endorphins in a person’s brain and should provide that so-called runner’s high. I think my endorphins run and hide when I start to work out, because all I feel is sweaty. And like I need a Diet Coke. But it would raise some eyebrows if I brought in my bottle of soda to the gym. So, given the slightest reason to change my plans, I do. Tomorrow I will feel more like exercising. Right?

If a friend calls with a flat tire as I am about to go to the gym, I secretly celebrate a reason to put off going to the gym. Of course, once I’m done helping, I rationalize that it’s too late to fit a workout in and cancel my plans, certain I’ll go the next day. But on most days it probably is still possible for me to go to the gym.

I’ve also been going to lose my “baby weight” . . . for about nineteen years. Which just so happens to be the age of my youngest son. Every day I wake up with the best intentions to start my new healthy eating plan, and that lasts until I actually have to deny myself something I enjoy.

A common excuse for me is when one of my college-age children calls and asks if I’m free for lunch. Of course I am! But rather than choose a salad, I celebrate our glorious time together and pick pizza. I could make a healthier choice but I don’t.

Maybe you’ve got similar frustrations. Are there things you know you should do . . . you have the ability to do . . . truth be told, you have the time and resources to do . . . but you simply don’t do?

Me too.

We all procrastinate to some extent. We all make choices to delay doing the things that would make a positive impact on our lives. And there’s not much we won’t delay. We put off everyday tasks like cleaning, filing papers, ironing, and home maintenance. We put off important things like doctor’s appointments, paying bills, and making meal plans.

We put off spiritually enriching practices like praying, reading our Bibles, or serving others. We put off relationship-building choices like forgiveness, addressing an offense from a friend, or even spending time with people who are important to us.

And we put off our own dreams, things like going back to school, changing careers, adopting children, or taking a vacation. Sadly, most of us don’t even get to the dream stage because we know what will happen. We know that we’ll get excited, make plans, maybe even start—and then things will fizzle. And perhaps we don’t even understand why.

For some, this pattern happens again and again, bringing feelings of frustration, disappointment, and discouragement. Perhaps you’ve even labeled yourself a failure, certain you’ll never finish anything. Oh, how I understand.

Most of us have gone through a similar cycle and felt similar feelings. We’ve felt the despair. We’ve felt the condemnation. Perhaps just knowing you aren’t alone will help. Procrastination has a common cycle; see if you can identify yourself in it.

The Procrastination Cycle

In their book Procrastination, authors Jane B. Burka, PhD, and Lenora M. Yuen, PhD, identify a six-stage cycle of procrastination that is common to most.[1] This cycle can happen in hours, days, weeks, or months. The timing can vary, but the thoughts and emotions we share are similar.

Stage One: I’ll Start Early This Time

The moment you make a decision to do something, you declare that this time you won’t procrastinate. You won’t wait until the last minute. You may not start right then, but you are confident you won’t delay.

Stage Two: I’ve Got to Start Soon

At this stage, the early start is no longer possible. But it’s still not the last minute. Anxiety starts to creep in each time you think about what you need to do.

Stage Three: What If I Don’t Start?

All optimism is gone now. You realize you are on the cycle again and regret steps in. Burka and Yuen have me pegged perfectly when they say, “It is extremely common for procrastinators at this stage to do anything and everything except the avoided project.”[2]

Isn’t that the truth? Perhaps this is a good time to make a confession: I procrastinated on writing this book. Most authors will tell you their biggest challenge while writing a book will involve the topic of the book. My friend Lysa TerKeurst, when writing her book The Best Yes (which is on making wise decisions), says she couldn’t make even the smallest decisions about it.

I should have seen it coming when I decided to write a book on procrastination. But that optimism of stage one was strong.

After getting the contract, I intended to start right away. But it was summertime and my kids had more flexible schedules. Then I was organizing a large part of an annual conference. My three college-age sons and my sister moved the next month. Then I took my mom on a ten-day trip. One thing after another became convenient excuses, and I started later than I wanted to start. But interestingly, each time I’d sit down to start, something else that I’d put off would hit my mind—and up I’d jump to go tackle it. Anything but keep my rear in a chair and my fingers typing. Stage three in action!

Can you imagine the snickers when friends and family asked me how the book writing was coming along? Yeah, it was embarrassing.

If you’re reading this now, you know I finally finished the book. But it wasn’t without applying all the things I’m writing about.

Stage Four: There’s Still Time

Although your heart and mind are filled with discouragement and you feel like a fraud, there’s still a sliver of hope that you’ll finish on time.

Stage Five: There’s Something Wrong with Me

When excuses have evaporated and there’s no one left to blame, you realize once again the problem lies with you. You might start comparing yourself to others, wondering what they have that you don’t. You believe there is something fundamentally wrong with you. Maybe you are missing an important personality characteristic or talent that everyone else has.

Stage Six: The Final Choice: To Do or Not to Do

It’s at this point you either abandon the project or nearly kill yourself and alienate others as you summon every last ounce of effort and slide into home plate, dust flying and scrapes on your leg, with milliseconds to spare.

Sadly, even if you finish you don’t feel good about it, because you know it wasn’t your best effort.

Does this cycle sound familiar? Perhaps you feel helpless and hopeless to break it. Do you wonder if you’ll ever be free from the guilt and shame that we procrastinators can feel?

Here’s some good news: just acknowledging the problem and the cycle is the beginning of breaking it. We aren’t forever chained to being women who procrastinate. We can make changes in our daily habits. But one of the problems with procrastination is it’s not always a conscious decision.

Why would we put off things that would improve our lives? It makes no sense. But we do it.

It’s Not Always Conscious

As I’ve tried to get to the root of my procrastination habit, I started with the same question: Why?

That should be an easy question to answer. Why do I procrastinate?

For most things in life, with just a little thought, I can discover the why behind my choices—good and bad. My motivation is clear. I understand why I dislike exercise (it hurts), why I tend to overeat (food tastes so good), and why I put off ironing (it’s boring).

But procrastination doesn’t always provide such easy motivators. Sometimes, there’s no simple why because there’s no clear-cut problem. We procrastinators can put off anything! Pleasant and unpleasant. Fun and boring. Simple and complicated.

I’m still surprised at the tasks and projects I can procrastinate. I can delay addressing small tasks that would only take a few minutes, important tasks that help me accomplish goals, and loving tasks that would bring a smile to someone else. And many times I’ve delayed something so long that I just gave up.

I’ve already listed some common things people delay, but let me share some of my personal procrastination challenges. They might surprise you, because you would never put off what I do. But it will prove my point that getting to the root of procrastination can be complicated.

Here are some of the things I’ve put off:

If you made a list like this for yourself, you’d probably start to see the same thing I see—there’s no apparent logical, consistent reason why we procrastinate.

The results for each of the tasks on my list would be worth the effort. It might mean better relationships, health, more peace at home, more professional opportunities, and increased income.

So why do I put them off?

The answers are there. It will take digging and introspection. However, once we identify the reasons for our delay, we can deal with them. Or in other words, when we know the why, we can strategize the how. We’ll dig deeper into this question in upcoming chapters, but for now let’s look at some general reasons.

A Self-Regulation Challenge

Procrastination isn’t a character trait that some of us are assigned. It isn’t common to one personality type over another. Although some of us are more relational and some are more project oriented, we all have the ability to procrastinate. Producers may delay relational issues, and those driven by relationships may delay projects. And vice versa.

Whatever our natural bent, procrastination happens due to a self-regulation failure based on an aversion to a negative emotion. Basically, we know what we should do (or not do) but we make choices against what we know is best in order to avoid discomfort somewhere in the midst of the process.

Self-regulation is a critical development skill we acquire, starting in childhood, that underlies our behavior. It’s the capacity to control our impulses. It stops us from screaming at our bosses even though we want to. It motivates us to wash the dishes even though we don’t want to. It’s what gives us the ability to make choices that are in our best interest and are consistent with our personal goals and priorities. Without a strong sense of self-regulation, we will act in ways that can cause guilt, shame, and anxiety . . . much like what we experience with procrastination.

Research consistently shows that self-regulation is critical for long-term well-being. If it’s such an important skill, why is it so hard to develop? Although there are solid psychological approaches to improving self-regulation, there is also a truth that helps me understand why I make choices that negatively impact my goals: I am a sinful being living in a sinful world.

A Sin Problem

This isn’t a popular notion among secular professionals. It’s more acceptable to say we are basically good. However, the Bible clearly states the opposite. If we were good, we wouldn’t have any trouble doing the right thing. But we all face this challenge and we all do things we regret.

In fact, I’m not the first follower of Jesus to struggle with making right choices. In Romans 7, the apostle Paul shares his frustration:

For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. (Rom. 7:18–20)

This verse is not saying procrastination is sin, although it might be, if God has told you to do something. Rather, Paul recognizes there is a conflict within us that is caused by sin.

Sin entered the world at the beginning of our human story; it was served on a fruit platter in the Garden of Eden. Since then, we have opened the door to an enemy who actively plots our downfall. Satan knows he will not beat God in the end, but his plan is to foil God’s plan and destroy God’s followers in the meantime.

Satan knows our sin and uses it against us. And what better way to limit the power of God’s kingdom than by getting God’s followers to not do what they know they should?

But lest I leave you in a state of despair, we have hope. We have been given a power greater than the enemy’s power.

The apostle John speaks of this enemy and the evil spirits in the world when he says, “You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world” (1 John 4:4).

As followers of God, we have been given the power of God living in us. But so many of us neglect this power when it comes to the everyday challenges of life. We think thoughts like, I’ll always be this way, or It’s impossible to change.

But here’s a freeing truth I’ve learned and want to pass on to you. Plant it deep in your heart so those untrue statements can’t find a place to grow roots and linger: procrastination isn’t a sign of our abilities or a statement of our value or worth. It’s not a disqualified stamp on our lives or a banner of failure. It’s not a label that we are lazy or disorganized.

In fact, I love that the apostle Paul clearly states the problem isn’t him: “Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it” (Rom. 7:20, emphasis added).

Procrastination isn’t a sign there’s something wrong with us but that there’s opportunity for growth in our lives. And that’s good news! We all have potential that is untapped. We have skills and talents to develop. And we have work yet to do.

Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

God has a good plan and a purpose for us. And we can have the greatest intentions to fulfill that plan. However, if we procrastinate to the point of abandoning our best work, or if we rush at the last minute and produce only a shadow of our potential product, all our good intentions will not amount to much.

No matter our age or season of life, we can each tend to a little personal “housekeeping” and strengthen those areas of our lives we have neglected. Addressing procrastination is an opportunity for us to do some honest self-reflection about why we choose to do certain tasks over others. That’s basically the problem of procrastination in a nutshell.

It’s not that we don’t get things done—we don’t get the right things done. The God-ordained things. The things that will make the most positive impact on our lives or the lives of those we love. And sometimes we delay addressing the highest and best callings on our lives.

Those are the things that cause the greatest regrets.

So getting to the root of the problem, getting to the why, will take work. But I’m convinced that when we get to the why we will uncover powerful motivators that we can use to help us move in the right direction.

Practical Application

The next step in unraveling the complicated problem of procrastination is to look at reasons why we put off doing what we should do. In this chapter I defined procrastination as “a voluntary delay of something we could do but choose not to.” Consider the two items you listed at the end of chapter 1. Are these things you could do but choose not to? If so, consider the idea of self-regulation presented here and the idea of avoiding discomfort. What is the discomfort you are avoiding in each of these areas?

The discomfort I experience with my regular task is:

The discomfort in addressing my personal goal is: