14
Small Changes Matter
Productive people know that it’s often the small changes we make in our days that produce the greatest amount of impact. This is especially true when dealing with tasks that we’d really rather not do.
Procrastinators often repeat the same habits, hoping for different results. We believe the solution is for us to just try harder. But that’s not always the case. Sometimes we need a small tweak in our approach to find success. Facing our procrastination takes creativity, persistence, and a willingness to try something new.
There are some changes you can make that will help you battle the urge to procrastinate. They might seem simple, but sometimes simple is best.
Prioritize Life-giving Activities
When I’ve asked women what they tend to put off, a common thread surfaced. Women often procrastinate that which fuels their hearts, minds, and souls.
Here’s a truth to hold on to: you are not a machine!
You cannot run nonstop, 24/7, pushing yourself to exhaustion, using caffeine as your energy source, and caring for everyone else’s needs forever. You will implode.
When we try to do this, we become worn-out, burned-out, broken-down versions of ourselves with nothing left to give anyone.
This happened to me one year, and it took me by surprise. I knew I was getting stressed, and deadlines were coming faster than I could meet them. My time with the Lord had diminished, and I’d stopped doing anything for myself. I was on automatic go-mode.
Then someone at work crossed a line. At least that’s how I saw it. They made a decision in an area that was my responsibility, and rather than thinking the best about them or making a phone call to discuss the decision, I shot off an angry email, copying a few other people on it. My email absolutely devastated this person, who felt blindsided by my reaction.
We worked through it and both of us apologized, but I was shocked and surprised by my actions. I’m not typically reactive, nor do I tend to think the worst of people. In fact, I’m very thick-skinned and not easily offended. What happened to me? Why had I overreacted in such an unloving way?
It took time to process the situation, but the Lord didn’t let me let it go. Over and over I thought about how I should have done something different. One day in the car, out of the blue, an idea came to me: Could I have been burned-out?
I knew I’d been working more than ever. In fact, six months before my meltdown, my part-time assistant resigned and I’d assumed her job on top of my own. I thought I was handling things well . . . but apparently I wasn’t.
Walking into the house, I rushed to my computer, typed “burnout” in the search bar, and brought up list after list describing my heart:
Burnout had crept up on me until it exploded onto a friend. Looking back, I’d definitely seen the signs but hadn’t put them together and given them a name. Once I did, I was able to immediately make changes.
I had to guard time for myself. And getting back into praying and reading my Bible every day was the number one change. I purchased a little spiral notebook so I could record my daily reading and write a prayer request. Just having a record of my time with the Lord helped me feel better.
I told my husband, and he and I made plans to have a date night every few weeks. He knows I love music and the arts, so he researched local plays and musical performances and penciled in dates for the next six months.
I also love to be with my children. And my three oldest had moved out, which was very hard on me. So I became more intentional in spending time with them.
My heart was running on empty and it needed to be refilled.
Rather than just taking on the extra work, I should have told someone how overworked I was. Because I telecommute, no one could really know unless I spoke up. I soon got a new assistant, and within a few months I was feeling more like myself.
What brings you joy? What is life-giving to you? Take some time and make a list of the things you love to do. Then schedule one thing a week for the next month.
Once your heart is healthy, you will feel braver about facing unpleasant tasks in a timely manner.
Build Renewal into Your Week
My burnout experience happened because I had neglected to care for myself. If we want to sustain energy to fulfill God’s calling on our lives and complete the work He has given us to do, we should build renewal into our lives on a weekly basis. Waiting until we fall apart creates lots of collateral damage.
God actually designed the need for rest and renewal into our minds and bodies. Obviously we need sleep, but God also designed us to need rest at other times.
As we become more aware of our body’s ultradian rhythm, we can plan difficult tasks for when our energy levels are highest. Then, as our stamina diminishes, we can undertake less demanding work.
We tend to ignore those lulls in energy and instead try to sustain a high level of focus by pushing through, perhaps with coffee. Rather than ignore these lulls, however, try working with them. When you feel your energy level drop, take a break. Allow your mind and your body to relax like it wants to do. After ten or fifteen minutes, start back on your work. Consider it an organic approach.
The other renewal God has designed is the Sabbath. In fact, resting one day a week was so important to God that He incorporated it into the Ten Commandments given to Moses and the Israelites.
Exodus 20 records the commandments, and the fourth one reads: “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work” (Exod. 20:8–10).
The Sabbath wasn’t just a good idea. It was a sign of the promise made between God and His people. In Exodus 31:12–13, God spoke to Moses, “Say to the Israelites, ‘You must observe my Sabbaths. This will be a sign between me and you for the generations to come, so you may know that I am the LORD, who makes you holy.’”
So many times, I said to my children, “Trust me. I know you want to do XYZ, but it’s not wise. Please trust that I know what’s best.” I saw dangers and anticipated consequences they couldn’t. And oh, how it hurt my heart when they didn’t listen to me.
Now compare my puny human wisdom with God’s perfect wisdom—my feeble attempts at anticipating consequences with His omniscience. And explain why any of us would ignore God’s request to honor the Sabbath. Why do we think we know better than God?
I stumble and fall more times than I succeed in this commandment. I tend to fudge the definition of “work” and justify whatever task I’m doing. But this commandment isn’t just to not work. It’s to rest.
I’m committed to trusting God in a greater way with the Sabbath. And I’m trusting that after a true day of rest, I’ll be refreshed and refueled to pick back up the next day with increased effectiveness.
Develop Smart Routines
Routines are powerful tools to get things done. In chapter 11, I shared how decision making reduces our willpower, and that routines can help reduce decisions. And in chapter 10, I discussed how habits are formed and how we can replace bad ones with good.
As you think about routines, consider times of the day when you could develop a simple routine. Not only do they reduce decisions and establish good habits but routines can also drastically reduce the stress in your life. This is especially true if you have children, who tend to thrive with simple routines.
When trying a new routine, writing it out can be helpful. I’ve done this many times with my children and actually posted the routine somewhere visible.
When we first adopted our daughters, they wanted to eat all the time. They didn’t understand the feeling of being full—they only knew hunger. So after consulting with a dietician, I learned I had to teach them there were times to eat and times to not eat. Even though my heart wanted to give them food all the time, it wasn’t healthy for them. So I wrote out a schedule for the day with times for meals and frequent small snacks. They couldn’t read yet, so I used it as a teaching tool. And they learned the daily meal routine very quickly. Here are some suggestions for helpful routines for your day.
Starting Work
Most of us head straight to email. But what if you didn’t? What if you started your day by tackling your most important task for the first sixty to ninety minutes? This routine could dramatically alter the rest of your day.
After School
If you have school-age children at home, set an order for whatever is important for your child, such as rest, snacks, chores, homework, reading, and play. Be faithful to that routine until your child can’t imagine not doing homework before playtime.
After Work
Do you tend to come home and collapse on the couch, never touch housework, and run out for fast food? What routine can you establish? Maybe hang your keys on their hook, put away your purse, sort and file the mail, start dinner, do five minutes of pickup, and do five minutes of cleaning.
After Dinner
Are dishes left on the counter? What if your routine consisted of completely cleaning the kitchen before any other evening activities?
Before Bed
Before turning out the lights, could you read your Bible for ten minutes, review your to-do list for the next day, straighten the living room, and gather up any papers or books that need to leave the house with you in the morning?
As I shared earlier, establishing a morning routine with a timed schedule changed my family’s mornings from chaotic to peaceful. Which also meant I wasn’t wasting valuable energy and willpower trying to get kids motivated and out the door on time.
Pick any problem area of your day and consider if a routine might help.
Take Time to Daydream
Henry Ford said, “Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason so few engage in it.”[1]
Are you procrastinating on a project that seems too complicated? Perhaps you tried to work on it once and got nowhere. Maybe it’s time to stop working and start daydreaming.
With technology literally at our fingertips all day, finding time to think is precious. We are switched on “go” most of the time, actively doing something.
And yet our minds are the greatest gift God has given us for managing our workload. The problem is we fill them with so much outside input that our internal creative resources are untapped.
There are times when analytical thinking is required to solve a problem. But sometimes we think we have to stay chained to the problem to find a solution when what we should do is stop the work and give our minds free rein to do what they were designed to do—search for creative solutions.
It is important to allow ourselves time to think. When our minds are relaxed, our thoughts drift. And as they drift, we see connections we missed when we were focused. For example, consider the invention of the Post-it note, which was a blending of a bookmark and weak glue. They are brilliant, and so useful they have become an “ubiquitous fixture of stationery cupboards worldwide.”[2] And that idea happened in a church, not a lab.
Reward Yourself
All parents understand the power of rewards. Whether it’s stickers on a chore chart, a hug, positive words, or a trip to McDonald’s for extra effort in school, children respond to positive rewards.
I wonder if we think we’ve outgrown the need for rewards. Do they seem childish, perhaps?
God doesn’t think so.
There are over eighty verses in the Bible that refer to rewards. From Genesis 15:1, where God says to Abram, “Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward,” to Jesus’s words in Matthew 5:46, “If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?” and on to the last book of the Bible and the Lord’s promise in Revelation 22:12, “Look, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to each person according to what they have done.”
God created us to desire rewards. And in most biblical cases, we are rewarded for doing the right thing. So perhaps we need to stop feeling guilty for desiring some kind of reward and instead use them to motivate ourselves to overcome procrastination.
I’m guilty of assigning myself a reward only when I’ve completed my ultimate goal. But rather than inspiring me to action, a reward that far away actually demotivates me. This reinforces my perfectionist thinking that the only thing to be celebrated is the completed project.
What I should do is celebrate progress with small rewards along the way. Your first reward might be just for starting! And that’s okay.
Make a list of small rewards that will motivate you to complete smaller steps but won’t detract from your forward motion, such as five minutes on Facebook or a piece of chocolate candy. These will serve as a mental break as well as a reward.
Plan midsized rewards for completing project milestones. Perhaps these are ordering pizza for dinner or buying a new shirt. Then save the big reward for total completion of the project.
Procrastinators tend to be harsh on themselves, much harsher than others are. As we celebrate our progress, we are learning to treat ourselves kindly. Plus we are building in motivation to press on when we might rather quit. And that is a win-win in my book.
Call a Friend
One year, a friend called and asked if I wanted to share the expense of materials for making homemade gifts. Her idea was to buy mason jars and fill them with ingredients for cookies, then give them to friends and neighbors.
Since I’m not a very good shopper and tend to procrastinate on buying gifts, this sounded like a great idea to me. So we divvied up the shopping list of ingredients, met one Saturday, layered flour, brown sugar, and chocolate chips into jars, decorated them, and added crafty labels. And I checked ten people off my gift list.
If the gift giving had been up to me, I would have wandered about the mall, wasted hours, and ended up with something impersonal and cheap.
Tackling a dreaded task with a friend made it easy and fun. Plus I (and ten of my friends) benefited from her creativity and energy.
Procrastinators tend to think we’re responsible for everything. We refuse to delegate, and we suffer for it. But by enlisting the help of a friend, we are still doing the work—and accomplishing more than we could alone.
Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 affirms this truth: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”
Friends can help each other clean, organize, and decorate. They can barter tasks, like trading ironing for mending. I’ve gotten together with friends to help me brainstorm a big project as I pick their brains for creative ideas.
And even when friends aren’t physically helping us, just their presence can be motivating. I have friends who plan time to get together to work on their individual projects, like scrapbooking or crafting. For a few years, a friend and I met halfway between our cities for a writing retreat.
If no friend who’d be willing to help you immediately comes to mind, then offer to help someone else with their work. You might find that by offering to bless another, God will bless you.
Find an Accountability Partner
The Bible is clear we are to guard against a prideful heart, and boasting is a clear sign that something’s not right. Proverbs 27:1 gives this wise warning: “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.” And Proverbs 16:18 warns, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”
As we address the issue of procrastination in our lives, it’s good to have a humble heart. And one way we keep ourselves humble is to confess our weakness to another person and ask if we can be accountable to them with our progress. James 5:16 says, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”
This verse can be confusing. But it’s important to note that it doesn’t say confess your sins to each other and you’ll be forgiven. Only God through Christ can forgive us. But it says we “may be healed.” I believe the key to this healing is humility. It’s not easy to confess weakness to someone else. I’d much rather appear to have everything under control. But confessing sin and weakness breaks the hold pride has over me.
Weight is a constant struggle for me, and a few years ago my friend Karen and I agreed to be accountable to each other. We agreed to take a picture of the number on the scale one day a week and text it to each other. What a powerful motivator this was for me. Just knowing I would be honest with Karen helped me make better decisions.
Procrastination can be isolating. We’re ashamed of our lack of self-control and the consequences of our choices. To make a connection with someone who passes no judgment can breathe hope into our hopelessness.
A key for finding an effective accountability partner is to pick someone who is both tender and tough. Both a prayer warrior and a cheerleader. And someone who needs your help as much as you need theirs. Finding an accountability partner helps us live out the Bible’s command in Galatians 6:2 to “carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
Practical Application
This chapter contained lots of tips for making small but important changes in how you approach your work. As you consider the two assignments you gave yourself at the beginning of the book, is there anything in this chapter that might help you face them more effectively? Does your personal exhaustion (physical, spiritual, and emotional) hinder you? Do you need to write a routine to incorporate your regular tasks? Do you need to spend time daydreaming or ask for help to tackle your personal goal? Write down some ideas to try.
My regular task:
My personal goal: