The next day, Tom continued his lesson on the elements. On his desk were a small beaker of concentrated sulfuric acid and a large beaker containing some table sugar. The previous day’s aim was written on the blackboard: “What are elements?” Since they had not gotten to that pivotal question, Tom asked it again.
The new student, Lora, raised her hand. “An element is a pure substance that cannot be broken down chemically.”
“Excellent, Lora. All matter is composed of elements, which are the building blocks of nature. What are compounds?”
Riner raised his hand. “A substance composed of two or more elements, chemically combined.”
“Very good, Riner. Who can give me some examples of compounds?”
“Water, which is H2O, and salt, which is sodium chloride,” said Riner.
“Isn’t sugar a compound also?” asked Wendy.
“Absolutely, sugar is an organic compound, composed of carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen. You guys are on your game today!”
“That’s because you’re a great teacher,” Barry said with a smirk.
“I wouldn’t go that far. Moving on, there was a guy named Berzelius, who devised a system of symbols for the elements, using the first letter or first two letters of its name. For example, the chemical symbol of oxygen is O, and the symbol for hydrogen is H, while the symbol for carbon is C.”
“And the chemical symbol for lead is L,” Barry interjected.
“No, the symbol for lead is Pb, from its Latin name, plumbum.”
“Now that’s messed up. Latin is a dead language,” Barry replied.
“Excuse me. I took four years of Latin in high school,” Tom declared.
“What? Were you studying to be a priest?” Manny asked from the back of the classroom.
“I don’t think so,” Barry cracked.
Ignoring the two impertinent teenagers, Tom pressed on. “Before we get to the elements, I’m going to show you an example of a chemical reaction.”
Holding up the small beaker of concentrated sulfuric acid, which he identified, Tom poured it into the wide beaker of table sugar. A large amount of heat was released, along with clouds of vapor. A column of black carbon rose from the sugar as it combined with the acid.
“My, my, Mr. Haley. That thing looks obscene. If you catch my drift,” Barry proclaimed, to the amusement of his classmates.
The class roared in laughter as the black column continued to grow in size. Tom, himself, had trouble keeping a straight face.
“What’s the fancy word for that, Mr. Haley? I know—phallic symbol!” said Lora loudly.
“You mean prick? Or dick? Or cock? Or wang? The scientific term for that part of the male anatomy is penis,” Barry chimed in.
Tom shook his head. He had done that particular experiment before, with hardly a peep from his students. But this motley group of youngsters was an entirely different species. And Lora was beginning to remind him more and more of Mini, whom he had once pulled off a classmate that she was pummeling. He had received a bloody nose from one of her wild punches in the process.
“Okay, folks. It’s science notebook time.” The class booed as he moved to the blackboard, summarizing the material covered in the last two lessons.
Element: pure substance that cannot
be broken down chemically.
Compound: two or more elements chemically
combined in definite proportions.
Symbols of Key Elements
Carbon: C
Hydrogen: H
Oxygen: O
Nitrogen: N
Sulfur: S
Phosphorus: P
Fluorine: F
Iodine: I
Uranium: U
Helium: He
Aluminum: Al
Chlorine: Cl
Calcium: Ca
Magnesium: Mg
Zinc: Zn
Nickel: Ni
Lithium: Li
Radium: Ra
Iron: Fe
Lead: Pb
Gold: Au
Silver: Ag
Copper: Cu
Sodium: Na
Potassium: K
Tungsten: W
Just as his students were finishing their notes, Lora raised her hand, and Tom braced himself for an off-color remark.
“I have an old penny here. How come it’s turning green?”
“Copper turns a greenish compound, called verdigris, when it corrodes. The roof of Curtis and the Statue of Liberty are made of copper. Years of exposure to the atmosphere—especially moisture—turns copper into that sickly greenish color,” Tom explained patiently.
“Copper bracelets are supposed to cure arthritis,” Ronnie asserted.
“Better than that. Copper can make a person more amorous. That’s why I have copper bracelets on my arms and legs,” Lora said, proudly displaying the metal trinkets on her appendices.
“Send her to the dean. That girl’s definitely out of line,” Barry screeched in mock terror.
Before Tom could react, he was saved by the bell. The class dispersed out of the room with Lora following them, her copper bracelets jingling in the hallway.