Perched on Tom’s desk were samples of several common elements—aluminum, copper, iron, carbon, iodine, chlorine, magnesium, calcium, sulfur—plus a horseshoe magnet. Hung from the blackboard was Mendeleev’s periodic table of the elements. The title of the lesson was written on the board: “What are elements?”
As usual, a few students—Barry, Manny, and even Lora—milled around the front desk until Tom shooed them away. Driven by raging hormones and surging energy, most freshmen and sophomores were restless. The concept of passive, sedentary learning was flawed, although it was the most widely used approach to teaching and learning throughout the Western world.
Holding up some of the samples, the skinny science teacher reiterated the key question: “So, what are elements?”
“Pure substances that cannot be subdivided by ordinary chemical methods,” Riner, a student with a good memory but little creativity, answered.
“That’s correct, Riner. There are approximately one hundred elements found on the earth in solid, liquid, and gaseous forms.”
“The only elements I care about are gold and silver,” Barry said.
“Sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t have any of those elements today,” Tom responded.
“What about copper? Copper has medicinal properties,” Lora exclaimed, shaking her copper bracelets and anklets.
Ignoring the cute, curly-haired youngster, Tom held up the horseshoe magnet. “Which elements are magnetic?”
“Iron and steel,” Manny called out from the back of the room.
“Iron and steel are both forms of iron. There are three magnetic elements—iron, nickel, and also cobalt—which I don’t have with me today.” Tom demonstrated the magnetic properties of iron and nickel with the iron nail and the old nickel coin.
“Wait a minute. I have a nickel here. I didn’t know it’s magnetic,” said Lora, getting up and handing a nickel to the skinny science teacher.
Tom placed the horseshoe magnet near her nickel, but it apparently wasn’t magnetic. “Why is that?”
“Because Lora has wooden nickels, like all gypsies,” Barry snapped.
“Go fuck yourself!” she yelled.
“Send her to the dean for profane language,” Barry replied.
“Both of you, settle down. How about pretending we like each other and get along for a change?”
Moving on, Tom explained that most metals are shiny, malleable, and hard, and had considerable strength, with the exception of the alkali metals like sodium and potassium, which are soft and chemically active. He cut a small piece of sodium with a knife and placed it in some water. The sodium skidded around the water and began burning rapidly. The students weren’t impressed, since some had seen that practical experiment before.
“Cut a bigger piece, and throw it in the water,” Manny called out from the back.
Complying, Tom did exactly what was requested. This time it exploded with a loud noise, and a piece of burning sodium fell on his science notes, setting them on fire—to the joy of his students. Tom poured some water on the notes to put out the fire, which delighted his students even more.
Laughing, Tom declared his notes needed revising anyway. “At least the sodium didn’t set fire to my jacket like the last time that happened. I was forced to buy another suit jacket.”
“Too bad. John’s Bargain Store sure needs the business,” Barry snapped.
“No. J. C. Penney needs the business,” Tom replied, thinking of that pretty salesgirl who had sold him his first teaching wardrobe—some sports jackets and a business suit—some years ago.
Relentlessly pushing forward, Tom mentioned one of the most common elements found on the earth: carbon. “Carbon is found in the atmosphere in the form of carbon dioxide, in green plants, and in fossil fuels like coal, oil, and natural gas.”
He showed the class the charcoal and the pencil—both composed of carbon.
“I heard that pencils contained lead, since they’re called lead pencils,” Wendy observed.
“Don’t believe everything you hear, girl,” Barry chided.
Unlike the feisty Lora, Wendy ignored her classmate’s barbs, focusing on the matter at hand.
“That’s a misnomer—lead pencil. Pencils contain a certain form of carbon called graphite. Diamonds also contain carbon, plus other elements, subject to heat and pressure for millions of years, eventually forming one of the hardest substances known to man—diamond.”
“What about charcoal, the stuff you barbecue hamburgers with?” someone asked from the back of the classroom.
“That’s still another form of carbon. Virtually all the fuels we burn for energy contain carbon. What happens when we burn carbon fuels?”
“It produces carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. And the carbon dioxide tends to trap the earth’s heat, causing global warming,” Wendy answered.
“That’s a good thing. I hate snow, ice, and winter. Skiing and ice-skating are dumb sports meant for crackers in white-landia—not for us ghetto folks,” Barry replied half-seriously.
“Ah, give me a friggin’ break,” Lora said, rattling her bracelets.
“Besides, if the earth’s average temperature rises by a few degrees, the ocean levels will rise, flooding the coastal areas of Staten Island, Brooklyn, and Manhattan,” Tom mentioned, thinking of the Mariners Harbor area where the Kill Van Kull fronted Richmond Terrace.
“We’ll build dikes like those Dutchmen did in Holland,” Manny called out.
“That’s why they all wear wooden shoes, so they can float in the Zuider Sea,” Barry said, unperturbed by the prospect of coastal flooding.
“It’s called the Zuiderzee—not the Zuider Sea,” Riner corrected his outspoken classmate.
“Only a weird dude like you would know about the Zuiderzee.”
“Now that’s enough, Barry. We all have something to contribute to class discussions,” Tom said, aware that Barry dominated classroom proceedings.
At that juncture, the bell rang, bringing the class to an end before Tom could introduce the Mendeleev’s periodic table. Lora came up to Tom and apologized for her profane language. Tom suggested that she spin her copper bracelets and anklets whenever she felt like cursing someone out.
“You mean spinning them brings on good vibrations that could neutralize the bad vibrations of jerks like Barry?”
“Not exactly, but it could help you cope with negative energy of others,” Tom asserted, trying to convince himself, as well as his naive student.
“I’ll give it a shot. Anything to snuff out his annoying motormouth,” she replied, following the stream of students prancing out of the room, her copper bracelets and anklets jingling all the way down the long, dark hallway.