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JT
After talking with Rebel, I drove back into town. I’ve been thinking on what he said about Dawn not being the girl for me. I know he’s right, and I need to end things as cleanly as possible. I don’t want her old man shoving his boot up my ass.
I sent her a message and told her I was coming to get her. I don’t know if it’s the wisest plan, but I figured we could drive to the park and talk on neutral ground.
I still don’t know if I will go through with calling things off. It all depends on whether she wants to stop the partying. She’s young and I know how I was at sixteen. I didn't give a fuck about anything. Until a few weeks ago, I still didn’t.
Another text message from Dawn comes through.
Honey: Please, JT, hurry and come get me. I can’t stay here with this witch a minute longer. She’s psycho.
Fuck! Guess now isn't a good time for our talk.
JT: I’m on my way hold tight. You can sleep over at my place.
I push my foot down on the gas and speed up. This isn’t going to be anything good, but I know what it's like to want to run away.
My mom didn’t make things easy for me. I know what it’s like to feel like you don’t have a real one. Maybe that’s Dawns’ problem.
If so, the girl is more screwed up than I realized.
I know having Perry as a stepdad really fucked me over, but Sunshine is nothing like that bastard.
I don’t think she’s the sort of woman that would get her stepchild into stealing cars and slinging dope.
Perry had me doing a hell of lot worse though.
I got girls hooked on drugs so he could get them dancing at Pink Lips to get their next fix.
One was this girl Kimmie, we had puppy love in middle school. When I found out she was one of Perry’s girls it about killed me. I’d make up excuses to stop by the club, so I could check in on her. When Perry figured out what I was doing he made a point to tell me to stay away from Kimmie with his fist.
Fucking bastard, I’m glad he’s dead.
He told me he would fuck Kimmie and make me watch. Sick prick never got the chance. Thank the fuck.
Dawn
“What's this?” Sunshine is standing in the door to my room holding up a baggie at me. Shit!
“I don’t know, garbage?” I sass, rolling my eyes. “Shouldn’t you be cooking or something?”
Her foot taps on the floor. “I found it in your pocket. Explain to me why you have this, Dawn,” she snaps.
I mock her tone. “What do you think it is?”
“Dawn, this is serious. Your mom died from this. Is that what you want too?” Her words smack me across the face and punch me in the gut.
How dare she. “You know shit all about my mom. You don’t know anything about her or about me.”
I shove past her as Mute sticks his head out of his door. “Go back to your room and play with yourself. You Goddamned freak,” I shriek at him and run out the door.
Sunshine is hot on my heels screaming at me to get back in the house. She’s not my mom, no one is. My mom is dead. Does Sunshine know what my dad did? Does she care that she is sleeping with a murderer?
Sunshine smacks me hard across my cheek just as JT pulls up in his truck.
“Thank God you’re here,” I sob trying to get in the passenger side door.
Sunshine nearly breaks my finger in it when she slams it shut and stands in my way.
“Move, you fat bitch!”
JT exits the driver’s side and comes around the front of his truck. “Dawn, calm down.”
“Are you really taking her side? Tell her to move. Tell her to get out of the way!”
“JT...you take her anywhere and I will call the police and report you for taking a minor.”
I crumple to the ground defeated when JT throws his hands up, gets back in his truck without me, and peels out of the driveway.
“Get in the house, Dawn. Your father is on his way home. Until he gets here, you’re grounded.”
I gather a fistful of rocks in my hand dying to smash them in her face right now. Stupid bitch.
She stands over me with her hands on her hip making that damn tsk noise she’s so fond of. I look up at her pouring as much hate as I can into my glare, and she laughs. The bitch actually has the nerve to laugh at me.
“You’re acting like a spoiled little brat. Get your ass in the house and go to your room. I’ll not hear another word out of you until your dad has his say.”
“Whatever,” I sneer.
As I am walking in the house, I pull out my cell to call JT and tell him I’ll just sneak out later when Sunshine plucks my phone from my hand and tells me, “No phone.”
I run to my room screaming how much I hate her before I give into my urge to smack her. Flopping down on my bed, I wail into my pillows. I kick my legs out and punch my mattress.
Grabbing a picture frame from my nightstand that has a photo of my mom in it I hug it to my chest, wishing she were here.
Mute
When Dawn called me a freak, it didn’t bother me in the way I thought it would. It only confirmed what I had thought earlier, I’m just a joke to her. I almost feel sorry for her as I hear her crying and snotting across the hall.
Sunshine knocks on my door. “I’m sorry you have to hear that. I’m sorry she was awful to you. It isn’t always like this. Since we moved back from California, she’s been different. She lashes out and does these terrible things for attention. Just ignore her. Jamie is staying with a friend, so you have the room to yourself. When things calm down, we can see about finding you an apartment or something.”
I smile, happy to go off on my own, but it stings she’s already wanting rid of me.
“I made BBQ chicken and fries if you’re hungry. Just help yourself to whatever you need. I’m going to take a bath and go to bed. It’s been a long day.”
I nod and she leaves me to myself. Dawn is still crying across the hall.
Part of me wants to offer her some sort of comfort, but the other part of me knows she’d only try to take advantage of my kindness.
I spy an iPod on the dresser with a pair of headphones attached to it. I hope Jamie won’t mind my borrowing them. I need something to drown out the sound of Dawn’s tears.
I turn it on relieved to see it has a full battery.
I shuffle through the kid’s music and he has decent taste. A mix of some old rock ‘n roll and new stuff that you hear the radio play on repeat.
I lay back in my bed and turn up the volume.
At some point I must doze off, because I come to with Dawn peering at me through her tear-stained lashes.
She plucks the earbuds from my ears.
“Do you know where my brother is?”
I wipe my eyes and reach for my board.
Dawn yanks it from my hand and throws it across the room. “Speak, Mute, I know you can.”
I shake my head going to get up, but she pushes me back and sits on me.
Her sweet-smelling perfume washes over me. I lay my palms flat on the bed careful not to touch her.
“I asked you a question.” She leans in close to my face and I have to lean back, but she only moves with me, practically laying on me.
“Moof,” I tell her, trying to say move.
“No.” She smirks, with her breasts pushing into my chest.
I try to roll her off me but using my hips instead of my hands was a terrible idea.
She scoots up further on my lap and wiggles.
“You’re like really big. You know that, right?”
I roll my eyes, yeah, I know that.
I grab her hips wishing I could rub her against me, but I know I have to stay away. I can’t play her games. As tempting as she is with her pouted lips and shapely curves. She isn’t a woman, she’s a silly little girl.
I shove her to the side and go to the other side of the room to retrieve my board.
“Don’t you want to have a little fun?”
I shake my head and grab my marker. She eyes me curiously as I write my message for her.
I’m just a Goddamned freak. Get out of my room.
Her face falls when I turn it around for her to read.
“I didn’t mean it,” she whispers.
For a moment I almost believe her. Almost.
“I’m sorry.” She gets up from the bed and goes toward the door.
I move to let her pass by to leave. She stops in front of me and takes the board from my hand, wiping away my words. She then tosses it on her brother’s bed.
She grabs my hand. “I don’t think you’re a freak, Patrick.” I look into her sad eyes, and I feel sorry for this lost girl, because I know how she feels, I’m lost too.
I rub my finger over her lips to silence her as she continues to say she’s sorry. Her wicked mouth is so soft and warm. Her lips part under my touch, so inviting. She cups my chin. “I think you’re sort of beautiful in a messed-up way, so who’s the real freak here?”
I laugh silently, fighting the urge to say fuck it and kiss her. She shifts standing up on her toes, wanting me to kiss her. I stroke my finger along her jaw and lean down. Her blue eyes close as she sighs with anticipation.
Her breath tickles my nose, it's intoxicating. I feel drunk on the indecision on whether or not to kiss her.