| |
Dawn
I’m standing here waiting and wondering if Patrick will kiss me. But more than that, I am wondering how it will feel. His lips are centimeters from mine, and I close my eyes waiting to feel his breath against mine.
I continue to wait for him.
Nothing.
Opening my eyes, I see he is staring at me, fighting with himself. He wants to kiss me. I can see it in his gorgeous eyes. He’s just as hungry for me as I am him.
I don’t like waiting so I take things into my own hands, wrapping my hand around the back of his head I pull him the rest of the way down. His warm lips caress mine. I moan and then he moans too.
Parting my lips, I’m ready for him to slip his tongue in my mouth, and if he doesn’t give in to me soon, I may die from anticipation.
He pulls back and yeah, I think I may die, because his lips on mine is perfection.
“Patrick, please, kiss me.”
He shakes his head appearing as if he is physically in pain. Am I that horrible a kisser, I wonder? “Did I do something wrong?” He shakes his head. “Then what? Is it because of your tongue?”
He nods and I want to cry.
“Is that you can’t or you won’t?” I challenge.
He steps back looking at his feet. I step forward matching him step for step until his back is against the wall.
I am so close to him we could be one in the same.
I grab his face and force him to look at me. “Kiss me,” I demand, and he tries to turn his face from mine.
I hold his gaze.
“Don’t be scared. I want this with you. Can you give it to me?”
A lonely tear trickles down his face.
I brush it away.
“You don’t believe me. You think I’m playing you?”
“Yeth,” he says breaking me.
Yeah, it started out as fun, but somehow it has turned into so much more than that.
“It’s not.”
He looks away.
“Patrick, look at me. This. Is. Not. A. Game.”
His eyes soften and he doesn’t pull away this time as I touch my lips softly to his.
I push my tongue against his lips, demanding entrance. Finally, he gives into me and his desire. He sucks my tongue into his mouth, and I find a lot more tongue than I was expecting.
It feels a bit strange and awkward at first. I brush my tongue against his going slow trying to gage his comfort level. Where the tip of his tongue should be, instead of a point there's more of a line, it isn’t perfect and straight, it feels as though there is a vein there, possibly a scar.
Once we settle into a rhythm, he relaxes and lets go, enjoying exploring and tasting one another’s mouth.
His tongue sweeps against mine now as if we’ve been kissing each other for all our lives.
Mute
I wasn’t going to kiss her, but she made it impossible to say no. I never dreamed I’d ever kiss anyone ever again, especially not this crazy girl with her tongue in my mouth. I had forgotten what it was like to really kiss someone. The last time I ever felt so free from my scars was when I was first in the hospital in a drug induced coma. I wanted to die, and I was ready to slip over the edge and go.
Kissing Dawn is like being in a dream, in a world that isn’t mine. I’m afraid when I open my eyes it will still be a game, despite what she said. She called me a Goddamned freak, and I am one.
However, the temptation to devour her smartass mouth was too great to pass up. I wasn’t about to deny her. I wasn’t going to deny myself this one gift. She’s like the last cupcake at the bakery. You want to eat it but know you shouldn’t because someone might want to buy it.
She’s beautiful and now I have tarnished her, tainted her with my ugly mouth.
She moans into my lips before pulling away for the breath we both desperately need.
“Um, wow,” she says and my dick strains in my jeans. “That was um...yeah, I am going to go now.” I turn away knowing she wouldn’t be able to get away from me fast enough. “If Sunshine catches me in here it won’t be good.” She goes up on her toes again and gives me a quick peck. “Good night.”
She slips out the door, and I am still against the wall, rubbing my lips three minutes after she’s gone.
I get into my temporary bed and try to sleep, but all I can do is replay that kiss over and over again in my head. I stood there like an idiot unable to move my hands. I wish I would have touched her butt, her hair, or something. I was like a wounded animal. All I could do was concentrate on her tongue touching mine.
I was waiting for her to laugh or freak out at any moment, but she didn’t, she was right there in the moment with me.
I still don’t know what she wants with me.
But damn do I want to find out.
Christa
This is the first night I’ve had to sleep without Kurt since we got together. This is my first night as his wife, and I’m here alone in my bed, our bed, while he's in lockup.
I lay here wondering if he’s just as broken as I am, is he wishing he were lying next to me?
I stroke my fingers over the empty spot next to me imagining him here. If he were here now I’d run my fingers through his messy hair, my fingers would get caught in the tangles from his ride home on his motorcycle.
He would smell of oil and the outdoors. All manly, sexy, dangerous, and mine.
Grabbing his pillow, I hug it to my face trying to catch his scent. I would cry if I had any tears left. I’m all cried out, at least for today I am. The floorboard outside my door creaks and I have a mini heart attack thinking it could be Perry, until I remember he’s dead.
“Christa?”
“Yeah, Grammy?”
“Scoot over I’m coming in.”
I want to tell her no, to leave me alone to wallow in my misery. However, I say, “Come on in.”
I roll to my side to give her room.
She flips on the light, nearly blinding me in the process.
“Hey! A little warning next time.” I moan.
She pads across the wood floor, her nightgown dragging along the way. Her hair is braided over her shoulder. There is a notebook and a pack of pens in her hands.
“Here.” She tosses the items onto the bed before getting under the covers next to me. “Brought you a journal. Write all your feelings down. You need to let them out instead of bottling them all up inside.”
“Thanks, Gram.” I know she has good intentions.
“You’re welcome, now turn out the light.” She rolls to her side with her back to me.
“Ugh!” I throw my blanket back and turn the light out.
“If you weren’t going to turn it off why did you turn it on?” I ask her as I climb back into bed.
“You needed to stretch your legs,” she says.
“Next time you can turn it off being you’re the one who turned it on.”
With a low snicker she adds, “It’s the only damn thing I get to turn on at my age.”
“Grammy!” I can’t believe that just came out of her mouth. Especially with the way she gets after me and JT.
“What?” She huffs. “Next time I’ll just throw cold water on ya. I won’t let you lay around feeling sorry for yourself.”
I am sure she won’t. She probably has a chore list ready for me. I bet she will say it’s all just to keep me busy.
Tossing and turning, I trying to get comfortable, but it’s no use. Her butt is pushing against mine.
Giving up I flop to my back and I nudge her shoulder. “I can’t sleep like this. You gotta go back to your bed.”
“You go. I’m old and tired. Hmmph.”
“Grammy, please.”
“Grammy, please,” she mocks me.
“Forget it.” I grab my pillow and get out of bed.
When I get to the door Grammy switches on the lamp. “Now you know what it’s like to be married.”
She is going to drive me insane, forget worrying myself to death about my husband while he is incarcerated.
Kurt
The first night is easy.
It’s all the days that follow that are going to be hard.
The days where I won’t be able to remember her smile, the days where I don't remember the last time I saw her face. Once you're locked up for so long, everything begins to blend together.
Tonight I am in county lockup.
I won’t be in this same bed tomorrow.
Tomorrow I will get transferred.
I won’t be in the same town as my wife.
Goddamn, I miss her so much already.
I swore I could do this, be strong enough, but here I am promising myself tonight will be easy, and I am ready to rip the damn bars off the cell and take out anybody that gets in the way of my getting home to my wife.
What the fuck was I thinking putting a ring on her finger the same day I was leaving. I have lost my Goddamned mind.
I roll over on my stomach on this tiny ass cot and hug my thin as fuck pillow wishing I was hugging up to my woman. I can’t help but wonder is she is lonesome and unable to sleep?
Is she thinking of me?
Does she regret saying I do?
When tomorrow comes will she be trying to get our marriage annulled?
I know she won’t.
That isn’t Christa.
She’s loyal and a forever kinda girl.
I should have let her go.
I should have broken her heart.
Let her see me with someone else.
I couldn't do that though.
The thought of any other woman just won’t do.
I was made for loving her and no one else.
She’s the only thing that’s ever been mine.
I want to give her the world, but how in the hell can I do that from in here? I can’t.
I won’t let the confines of these bars break me.
I made her a promise, I pledged vows to be her husband and I will, in time. As long as she waits for me.
I roll back over picturing her belly swollen with my children. Incredible, that’s what it would be.
I can see it now, her on Gram’s porch in a white sundress, her hair blowing in the breeze as I ride up on my Harley. Enchanting.
Fuck, do I want that.
Making her happy will be my greatest addiction.