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Dawn
Laying in this hospital bed, being questioned by social services and the police, I know I’ve really gone and done it now.
“Can you tell us where you got the drugs?”
I’m not stupid.
I was raised you don’t rat.
Snitches and bitches get stitches.
“I can’t remember,” I croak and cough. “I’m really sleepy and everything's so blurry.” I roll to my side and flutter my eyelids as though I can hardly stay awake.
My nurse ushers them out saying I need my rest.
Sunshine hasn't been allowed back and I am grateful.
Patrick hasn’t left my side. I enjoy the quiet of his company and the way his hand feels on mine as he rubs soothing circles over my wrist. I think my nurse figured out he isn’t my brother, but she hasn’t kicked him out yet.
Patrick showed me a text from Sunshine that said my dad is on his way here. I’m supposed to be released into his care.
I don’t want to stay here in this bed, but I don’t want to go home either.
I know I need to thank JT, He saved my life. I owe him a huge apology.
I was terrible to him. I wouldn’t blame him if he told me to fuck off.
“Patrick, can I see your phone?”
He pulls it out of his pocket and reaches it to me.
“Hey, thanks for sticking with me.” I lean up and kiss his scarred cheek.
“Wunt tu,” he says.
I love that he’s making an effort to talk to me. I know I can be a mean judgmental bitch at times but hearing his lisp doesn’t bother me. Most people would probably get frustrated at not being able to fully understand him, but I want to help him. I want him to be comfortable in his own skin and hearing his own voice.
I told him he has a sexy voice.
He thought that was funny.
Scooting over in my bed, I pat the space next to me.
“Sit with me.”
He scooches in next to me on his side, and I back my butt into him, draping his arm over me.
With Patrick spooning me, I feel more confident, I feel more able to say sorry to JT, and I feel ready to confront my dad.
I need to handle JT before my dad arrives. I know I won’t have access to phones for a while once he gets ahold of me.
Knowing JT’s number by heart I call him. It rings four times before he finally picks up.
“Hello,” a soft voice answers.
I should be upset, jealous even that another girl is answering his phone, but I’m not. I’m laying here with Patrick. I want JT to be happy, he deserves to be with someone who can appreciate him. A girl that wants what he does.
I’m too fucked up to be with him. Patrick however, we’re kindred spirits. He’s fucked up like I am. We can be fucked up together, and just maybe we can heal one another’s scars.
“Hi, can I speak to JT?”
“Who’s asking?” I want to laugh he really has a thing for girls with attitude.
“Tell him it's Dawn.”
She sighs.
Aww she’s jealous.
I smile.
I really want him to be happy.
Life’s too short.
I hear some muffled whispering and a giggle. I think I hear sheets rustling. He didn’t waste any time, did he? Jesus. Not like I have room to talk though. I squeeze Patrick’s hand. We aren’t together, but I hope we can build on getting into a relationship. He kisses my ear and I melt.
“Lo,” he answers sounding hoarse, tired.
“JT,” I breathe out his name.
“Hey,” he says, following up with, “Are you okay?”
“I will be, thanks to you.” I feel Patrick tense behind me, he’s jealous. Jeez, he doesn’t need to be. “And thanks to Patrick noticing I was gone,” I tack on and feel him relax.
“I’m so sorry, Dawn, I should have done so many things differently,” he apologizes when there is no need. I am the one who needs to say sorry. I put JT through hell.
“You don’t have any reason to be sorry. I’m the one in the wrong. I should have never put that kind of pressure on you. You were a good friend to me, and I will always love you for that. I’m sorry things didn’t go better for us. I’m sorry for a lot of things. You’re one of the good guys, JT. Don’t let me ruin that. I’m a shitty person, but I’m going to work on doing better. I have a lot to work on, but I just wanted to say thanks...and I’m sorry.”
“I’m glad you’re okay. You scared me so damn bad, but don’t worry, I took care of Will.”
A tear slides down my face, he didn’t have to do anything. I fucked up. Tonight isn't Will’s fault either, I went after him.
“JT, don’t be stupid and get into trouble because I was an idiot. Don’t fuck up your life over a dumb girl like me.”
“I’d do it again. Motherfucker had it coming.”
I hear heavy boots thumping down the hall.
“I gotta go, JT, take care of yourself.”
“Bye, Dawn,” he says, ending the call just as my dad enters the room looking ready to kill.
Patrick scrambles from the bed as my old man backs him into a corner. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing in my daughter's bed?”
Patrick, my sweet, damaged man, holds my father’s gaze not backing down, and I love him for it, but I need to put a stop to this before it gets nasty.