NEOCON CUCK

The first examples of these organisms showed up in their Ivy/sub-Ivy institutions as young Trotskyist tadpoles, their heads filled with the worst affectations of upper-middle-class intellectuals. But upon entering Leo Strauss’s University of Chicago, each and every one mutated into a large, disgusting frog whose genetic purpose was to remake the world. These bowling-pin-shaped jackoffs matriculated into the departments of state and defense and declared themselves to be Russia experts as part of a Ford-era intelligence shop called Team Beta, which analyzed Russia and came up with reasons to arm what would eventually become Al Qaeda. After some mysterious violent group these guys had nothing to do with brought down the Twin Towers, these sons-of-CIA-funded-academics had a golden opportunity to utilize the nativist rage and bloodlust of bumpkins and middle-class authoritarians alike to kick off the virtuous wars the philosopher kings had wanted for years. The Neocon Cucks helped us dive dick first into Afghanistan and Iraq.

Trump was the best thing that ever could have happened to them. He lacks the veneer of propriety these sleazes need to remain friends with equally repellent liberal elites. As a result, many Neocon Cucks have been heralded as valorous, patriotic conservatives, welcomed into the #Resistance, and rewarded with cushy gigs as op-ed columnists in “respectable” liberal media outlets. It doesn’t matter that they stoked the same racist impulses Trump did to get their wars. The fact that they want the same norms is enough for people.

GREATEST ASSET: Being the nephew of someone important

WORK HISTORY: Opening letters for Father, answering phones for Daddy, showing Papa how to use the computer, editing articles for the Old Man after dementia slows the old workhorse down, defending the Captain after his seminal piece “The Problem with Negroes” becomes public knowledge again, serving as editor in chief of Commentary and/or the Weekly Standard