barney, age 13

I had a normal and happy life growing up, with a strong family and many friends. I was good in school and enjoyed playing sports. I went to a big public high school, and luckily I was never picked on or bullied.

I remember, when I was about eleven, some boys were passing around playing cards with naked women on them, and I just had no reaction to them at all. At first I thought I was asexual, but I soon realized I just had an opposite attraction, to boys.

I remember very clearly that at age thirteen, during some horseplay with my male friends, it finally dawned on me that I was gay. I was terrified and frightened and discouraged, and I figured I would deal with it simply by never telling anybody. Thinking back, I knew I had those feelings as young as age five, but I didn’t realize it at the time.

Because I was closeted until 1987, I had difficulty leading a so-called normal life. I was in hiding. Since coming out, I’ve found everything I need to live a happy life. Come out as soon as you can. I can’t think of any people I’ve known who’ve said their life got worse after coming out. The consequences are almost always better than people think they’ll be, and the negatives are much less. If you can’t fully come out, find other gay and lesbian people and socialize with them, and find other people you can trust with your truth. Being who you are and being happy with yourself—those are the most important things in life.