This picture sparks many awkward, depressing memories of never fitting in with my perfect, happy friends or my strict Mormon family. I had just convinced my mother to let me cut my long hair. It traumatized me. Since then, I’ve vowed to make myself look as feminine as possible.
The first time I remember having a real girl crush was at age thirteen. I’d doodled on a piece of paper about loving a girl, and my sister told my mom. When confronted, I cried, “Nooo! I don’t love her like that, just as a friend!” But that was when I realized I was different, and there was something about me I was supposed to be ashamed of. I soon moved myself back into the closet and locked the door from the inside.
Although being gay and Mormon is hard, when I start to feel sad I hear a voice inside my head saying, “God doesn’t make mistakes.” And I feel content. I’ve been blessed with an amazing family that loves me and supports me, no matter what.