Talia
I couldn’t quite process everything. Riley was Ram’s daughter? They must have talked a lot this morning for him to piece that together. Now the club’s president sat at the table with us. He seemed skeptical about the issue. As excited as Riley appeared, I hoped she really had found her father. As much as Riley adored Ram, it would crush her spirit to find out he wasn’t really her dad.
The new development left me feeling even more conflicted. Something told me Ram might be attracted to me. Why else would he have asked me to stay here with him? The thought of trusting a man scared me, but part of me had wanted to give him a chance. Except now I wasn’t sure how I would fit into his life. He and Riley had just found one another. Would there even be room for me in this new family?
“I’m going to need a DNA sample from both of you,” Badger said. “Outlaw has connections at a lab to get it processed as quickly as possible. The guy he talked to said he should have results within twenty-four hours to seventy-two hours.”
“Like hair or something?” Ram asked.
“You should probably swab the inside of your cheek,” I said. “That’s how they usually do it on those crime shows on TV. But you’d need a sterile swab.”
Badger pinched the bridge of his nose and pulled out his phone. He pulled up a name in his contacts and hit the speaker button so we could all hear the conversation. I didn’t know who he was calling, until I heard someone pick up and say Outlaw.
“Outlaw, we need a way to take the sample. Any ideas?” Badger asked.
“I’ll send a Prospect over to my buddy’s lab. He can get the items we need. Should have it within the hour,” Outlaw said.
Badger ended the call and stood. “Looks like my work is done. I’ll make sure they bring the test materials here. Give Outlaw a call once you’re ready for the samples to go to the lab.”
Without another word, he walked out of the room, and the front door opened and shut a moment later. I stared at Riley and Ram, uncertain what I should say. While Riley looked like she’d just received the greatest gift ever, Ram seemed a bit shell-shocked. Of course, if he’d had no clue he had a daughter, then it was understandable. Considering he’d risked his life to free the six of us, then brought us here when we had nowhere else to go, it told me had a strong sense of responsibility.
“Would the two of you like some time alone?” I asked. “I could always move into one of the apartments with the others.”
“Stay,” Ram said. His tone was low with a hint of gruffness to it. Yet I heard the command just the same. I wanted to bristle, fuss about men trying to tell women what to do, but… I wanted to stay here with him and Riley.
“Fine, but I think I should take the couch. If Riley is your daughter, then she needs a bedroom. It’s her house too, after all.” Ram scratched at his beard and studied me. I wished I knew what he was thinking, yet at the same time, I wondered if it was better for me not to know.
“Is there anyone here around my age?” Riley asked.
I wanted to thank her for breaking the building tension between me and Ram. I shot her a grateful smile, then stood to reheat my food in the microwave. I hadn’t been able to eat once Badger arrived, and now my food was ice cold. Since Ram went to the trouble of making it, I felt like I should at least attempt to eat it.
“I’m not sure. It’s been a long time since I was here,” Ram said. “But we can certainly ask. I know there are families here now. There weren’t any before. Only a bunch of single men. I’ll send Outlaw a text and ask him. Eat your breakfast.”
“Okay… Dad.”
Riley’s cheeks flushed when she said the word, and I saw how much she enjoyed being able to call Ram her father. Judging by his expression, he rather liked it too. Again, it left me feeling like I was intruding on the two of them. I’d offered to leave, but Ram said to stay. How did Riley feel about it? She might want him all to herself right now.
Ram stepped out of the room, and I took a chance to ask Riley how she felt. “Your dad said I should stay. What do you want, Riley?”
“You’re not much older than me, are you?” she asked.
“I’m only six years older than you,” I said. “Why? I promise I’m not trying to make Ram my dad too.”
She took a bite of her food and watched me until I felt like squirming in my seat. When she spoke again, I was thankful I hadn’t decided to take a sip of my drink or I’d have choked on it.
“Maybe you want to be his wife instead?” she asked.
“What? Why would you… Riley, I’m not trying to take Ram from you in any way. Not even as a wife. The two of you just found one another. I know how important this time is for you both.”
She played with her food, shoving it around her plate with her fork. “My mom sucked as a parent. She always had loser boyfriends, and barely kept me fed or clothed. There were even times she’d get so mad she’d hit me, saying I’d ruined her life.”
I didn’t understand why she was telling me that? Was it a warning she didn’t need a mom? Or did she really want one, but didn’t know how to ask? Not that I was up for being one. I could barely take care of myself most days.
“I may have only met your dad, but I don’t think he’d be the type to ever hit you,” I said.
She shook her head, refusing to meet my gaze. “You wouldn’t either. Right?”
Was she worried if Ram and I ended up together, which seemed farfetched to me, I would end up hurting her if I got angry? I did have a temper, and I hadn’t exactly been nice.
“Riley, yesterday was really hard on all of us. So much happened in such a short amount of time. I don’t know how long you were with those men. I might have only been there for a few hours, but they weren’t the first ones to try and harm me. To say I have trust issues is putting it mildly. I’m scared that if I believe in someone, I’ll end up getting hurt again.”
“Isn’t it lonely to live like that? You don’t have anyone to rely on, no one to hold your hand when things get scary. I was so excited when Ram said he thinks he’s my dad. Not only because I’ve always wanted to meet my real father, but I could tell he was the type who wouldn’t abandon me.” She finally looked over at me. “I think he’d stay by your side too, as long as you were willing to be here with us. To be part of the family.”
This sweet girl was making my heart hurt. For the longest time, I’d wanted exactly that. A family. The kind you saw on TV where kids got hugs, and everyone supported each other. I’d never had that. My mom was a distant memory. My father had been a gambling addict. He’d still been alive when I left, but I’d checked up on him a few times. Last time I’d asked around my hometown, they’d said he passed away.
“Riley, you may want me to stay here and be your mom, but life doesn’t work like that. What if your dad and I don’t get along?”
“What if we do?” Ram asked from behind me. I looked at him over my shoulder. He had his arms crossed, and a stern look on his face. “Do you have to assume the worst about everyone and every situation? Would it hurt to stay here for a while and give things a chance?”
No. It wouldn’t. Not unless I fell for him, and he ended up breaking my heart. “I’ll stay and see what happens, but it doesn’t change the fact Riley needs her own room.”
“I think the two of us should talk. Riley, would you like to go visit the apartments and see the others?” Ram asked.
“I can’t stay here with the two of you?” she asked.
And it was already starting. She felt left out. This was why I’d suggested I leave the house and move in with the others. The glare Ram shot me said he knew exactly what I was thinking, and he didn’t agree.
“I spoke with a friend. He has a daughter a year older than you. And I heard there’s a little boy who’s a few years younger. Would you like to meet either of them?” Ram asked. “The girl only lives a few houses away. Her name is Coral.”
“What if she doesn’t like me?” Riley asked.
Ram came closer and ran his hand over Riley’s hair. “Honey, there’s not a single person here who won’t like you. If you want to wait a little bit before meeting anyone, that’s fine. But I really need to speak with Talia about a few things.”
“Can I sit in the living room and watch TV while you talk in here?” she asked.
“Sure. When we’re finished, we’ll make a list of everything we need so we can go shopping. Or do you want the pad and pen? You can start your list now,” he said.
Riley nodded. Ram got the pad and pen off the counter and handed them to her. She jumped up from the table and rushed out of the room. I could see the excitement in her eyes. Last night, she’d been thrilled with the books he’d let her buy. I wondered what she’d put on her list for today.
Ram took Riley’s vacant seat, shoving her plate aside. Then he stared at me, as if he wasn’t quite sure what to say. He’d said he wanted to talk. Had I made him angry? Since he’d asked me to stay, he clearly wasn’t going to throw me out.
“I kind of like your prickly side. Your sarcasm, defensiveness, and the way you glower at me are kind of cute. However, it tells me you’ve built some pretty high walls around yourself.”
When he didn’t continue, I figured he wanted me to say something. “What if I have?”
“You don’t need to tell me everything in your past. All I want to know is what sort of trauma you’ve suffered and any triggers I should avoid. This isn’t just my home, it’s yours and Riley’s too. For however long you want it to be. In order to make sure this is a safe place for you, it means I need to arm myself with knowledge. Otherwise I may say or do something that will scare you or cause a flashback to something you’ve tried to forget. So, help me, Talia. Give me the tools I need.”
Why did he have to be so damn nice? When had anyone asked me for such a thing? Never, that’s when. He’d been right about the high walls I’d built. Until now, no one had been able to penetrate them. Something told me Ram wouldn’t break them down. He wouldn’t have to. With his thoughtful yet persuasive words, and kindness, I’d rip the wall apart on my own.
“Fine. You want to know my triggers? Men. Every single one has to do with men. My father was a gambler. He lost the car, the house, and eventually his life. I ran away when I wasn’t much older than Riley. Fell in with a bad crowd, thought I’d fallen in love, only for the bastard to turn on me. He sold me to some men for a few hours. When he came to pick me up, I was already gone. I was stupid and trusted two more men. Both taught me painful lessons. Happy now?” I asked.
He rubbed a finger over his lips, and I could practically see the wheels turning in his head. I’d dumped a lot on him, in a not so nice way. Sure, I knew I had an attitude. I also didn’t like talking about anything in my past. It needed to stay behind me. Otherwise, I wasn’t sure I could survive for much longer.
“You’re angry. Not only at the people who hurt and betrayed you, but also at yourself. Until you learn to forgive yourself, I’m not sure you’ll ever be able to fully trust someone or fall in love. You thought you loved those men. Or boys, I suppose. You don’t look much older than Riley. I don’t think it was love. You needed them in order to survive, so you convinced yourself you loved them.”
How did this man see so much? It was like he could look straight through me. In all my life, I’d never met anyone like him. If I walked away, I didn’t think I’d find someone like him ever again. No matter how scared I was, I needed to stay. He was right. I had some healing to do, and it was time I let people in again. And if I’d made yet another mistake, then I’d dust myself off and keep going, same as before.
Please be the man I think you are.
I might push everyone away, but it exhausted me. I needed someone to help me carry the load, to tell me things would be okay, and give me a shoulder to cry on. Not once did I ever dream of becoming an instant mom, and to a girl nearly the same age as me, but Riley wasn’t a deal-breaker. If she was fine with me being part of her family, then the only thing standing in my way was… me.