Chapter Fourteen

The drive out to Tanner’s favorite archery spot was soothing. Tanner’s earlier nervousness disappeared as soon as we reached the truck. We talked about our families easily, and Tanner told me more about Grainer and why it wasn’t that bad of a place to live. The more I was with him, the less I cared about whether or not Grainer was as fascinating as I had thought Manhattan was. When the list of things to do in Grainer ran out it seemed to fall to me to pick up the conversation.

“So Evan and Jackson didn’t feel like coming with us today?” I asked.

“They were busy,” Tanner said quickly. “Chores or something.”

“Both of them?”

“Yeah, I guess. So it’s just the two of us.” As soon as he had said it, Tanner must have realized that I might take it too mean he was trying to get me alone with him and blushed fiercely. Making an effort to backpedal, Tanner only worsened his predicament. “I mean, no that we have to be alone if you don’t want to. That’s not what I meant, of course.”

I pretended not to notice his embarrassment, which proved very easy. “No, it’s fine,” I said. “I was just teasing. Actually I’d rather not have to listen to Evan laughing at me again.” Tanner’s easy smile returned as we fell into a semi comfortable silence.

Pulling up to the meadow where I first met Tanner I was excited for the chance to spend more time with him, but the quiet allowed the dreams and photos to creep back in. I wondered how I was going to make it through the rest of the afternoon. I could hardly focus on anything but the morning’s confessions once they took hold of me again. Feeling guilty about even accepting the invitation considering my current situation, I still did not want to show my uneasiness to Tanner.

I forced myself to pretend it was a week earlier, before the dreams, before the photos, and especially before the stories. The darkness still lingered in my mind, but I found a small corner free of any other concern where I could focus. Tanner climbed out the cab and went to the truck bed where he had the targets and bows stored. I calmed my features and smiled before climbing out of the pickup as well.

“Are you ready?” Tanner asked.

“I think the real question is, are you ready,” I teased. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

Tanner laughed. “You’ll do fine. Here,” he said, pulling a bow, much smaller than his own, out of the truck bed and handing it to me. “This one’s for you. My sister doesn’t use it much anymore.”

Accepting the bow, I considered its size. “Just how old is your sister? Six?”

“Well you wanted a smaller bow,” Tanner said, trying to keep his face straight.

I threw him a disgusted looked. I wasn’t that bad, was I?

“I’m just kidding. My sister’s thirteen. But bow length is more about height than age,” he said. “And you’re kind of short.”

“Thanks for noticing,” I grumbled. His nearly six foot frame did make my minimal five foot four inches rather unimpressive. I was actually on the tall side for my family. Tanner ruffled my hair to emphasize his point. I socked him in the arm, only halfway meaning it.

“Sorry, sorry,” Tanner apologized. The dazzling grin he gave me somewhat diminished his sincerity. “Really, this bow will be much easier for you to draw.”

“If you say so,” was my only response.

I watched as Tanner set up the targets towards the back of the meadow. He arranged the cubes with practiced ease and loped back to me.

“Alright, do you remember how to hold the bow,” Tanner asked.

I considering saying no, remembering how closely he had to stand to me in order to help me last time. Bright spots of red blossomed on my cheeks at the thought though and I refrained. “I think I remember,” I said. Placing my hand on the riser, I noticed how much lighter the new bow felt. I didn’t know what to do next unfortunately.

Suddenly Tanner was next to me, tying a quiver of arrows around my waist. His fingertips brushed my thigh as he placed it around me and I had to hide a shudder. “You might need these,” Tanner said, straightening. He turned away quickly, but I could the red in his ears. Faking a cough to cover the laugh that had escaped, I didn’t say anything. I was just glad I wasn’t the only nervous one. Tanner was proving a better distraction than I had expected.

Pulling an arrow out of my quiver, I stared at it. How had this part worked again, I wondered. I had played cowboys and Indians with my brother when we were younger, but my brother’s plastic bow and arrow set had been equipped with suction cup ends and a convenient hole in the bow for the arrow to slide through. Unsure of how I was supposed to keep the arrow from falling into the dirt, I turned to Tanner. “So, um, how do I get the arrow ready again?” My question seemed to dispel Tanner’s awkwardness instantly.

Taking control, Tanner showed me how to grip the end of the arrow and rest the point on the top of the hand gripping the riser. His hands moved mine into place, but his soft touch and radiating warmth made my fingers slip. After several tries I managed to hold the arrow on my own, keeping it tight against the bow.

“Go ahead and try to draw it now,” Tanner said.

Unsure of my abilities, I pulled back slowly. I was surprised by how easily the arrow moved this time. My mouth turned up. I pulled a little harder, drawing the arrow to my ear. Pleased with my effort, I grinned and turned to look at Tanner. My grip slipped. The arrow flew wide of the target, flying into the trees. Wincing with embarrassment I ducked my head. Tanner laughed and I joined him.

“I’ll go get it,” I said, a bit deflated by my failure.

Setting the bow down, I trudged through the tall grass. Tanner followed me into the trees. “You might need a little help finding it,” he said. “That was a good try, though.”

I looked over at Tanner’s face. He really meant it. “Thanks,” I said. “At least I could pull the arrow back all the way this time.”

“You’ll get better, don’t worry,” Tanner said.

Tanner found the arrow quickly and we headed back to the meadow. Easy conversation filled any gaps during the lesson, much to my relief. I usually felt pretty at ease around guys, many of my friends back in New York were guys, but Tanner had an effect on me that I wasn’t used to.

The sun continued to make its way across the sky, lengthening the shadows as it went. Arrows fell across the field all afternoon. Tanner often made the target while most of mine flew into the trees and stuck into the soft dirt. I think we spent more time searching for my misplaced arrows than anything else. Tanner didn’t seem to mind.

As we searched for my last arrow, the darkness I had been trying to ignore slowly crept from its hiding place back into my mind. The shadows under the forest canopy seemed to stretch after me, grasping at my ankles. I gritted my teeth and told myself to ignore it. A mild breeze stirred my clothing, bringing the smell of smoke to my nostrils.

My eyes flew wide. Looking around, I didn’t see anything that would account for the smell. The bird’s chatter became the cheering crowd from the dreams. Closing my eyes, I leaned against a tree. The sounds and sensations from the dreams assaulted my mind over and over again. “It isn’t time yet,” I whispered. “Oh please, don’t let it be time yet.” My eyes burned, hot tears swelling behind my eyelids.

A hand touched my shoulder. Gasping, I nearly fainted.

“Arra, are you okay?” Tanner asked, startled by my reaction.

I quickly rubbed my eyes, before turning around. “Yeah, sorry about that,” I said lamely. “I get scared really easy.”

He looked at her doubtfully. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine. I’m just not used to being in the woods yet. I got turned around and thought I was lost. Did you find it?” I asked casually.

“Yeah, it went a lot further than I expected. At least you’re getting better at one part of archery,” he said, his laugh timid.

“It would have been nice if I’d hit the target at least once,” I said. Still shaken from the strange ordeal, I rubbed my arms trying to rid my mind of the memory. “I think I’m hopeless.”

“Nah, you’ll get it,” he smiled, “someday.” He slipped the arrow back into my quiver with a flourish.

I took a playful swing at him, glad he was near me again. Letting the hit land, Tanner casually swung his arm around my shoulders. At least he tried to be casual about it. His arm was stiff around me until I leaned into him. His arm immediately relaxed and pulled me a little closer. I liked the idea of having his arm around me, but even more, I needed to feel someone real next to me. Tanner turned me back towards the meadow, his pace slower than necessary.

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

I took a moment to consider. The shocking escape of my dreams into the real world had driven away all sensations but fear. They were slow to return, but the sinking sun reminded me that I was indeed starving.

“Yeah, I am,” I replied.

“Great, how does a burger sound?”

“It sounds perfect.”

We were back to the meadow then. The scene had not changed in the few minutes we had been in the forest, but to me the fleeing peaceful atmosphere had cast a threatening shadow over the area. My expression soured, but I focused on Tanner’s arm around my shoulders and coaxed a faint smile back onto my lips. Our feet carried us to the edge of the meadow and Tanner’s hand slip off my shoulder, trailing down my back before leaving me completely. I instantly missed his touch and feared what would replace it.

“I’ll get the targets if you’ll throw these in the truck,” Tanner said. He handed me his bow and quiver. Taking the equipment, I hurried to the truck, eager for a few minutes alone.