MR. DOE WAS perspiring. A lot. In fact, he was pretty much gushing. Sweat stains morphed into ponds on his shirt. I couldn’t look away. He was also emitting a not-so-faint aroma of wet socks and dog fart. For some reason this struck me as hilarious. I started giggling.
“That’s better, honey. How long have you been a party girl?” His forehead was beaded with sweat dots that joined up into delicate rivulets that slid down the sides of his ruddy cheeks. There was just so much happening on him.
“Oh, this is my very first party, Mr. Doe.” The streams ran down his face and into the folds on his neck and then back out again. The sweat hypnotized me, held me in place. I’d never really noticed sweat before. It had a life of its own. He moved in a little closer. “Dance?”
“No sir, I’ve never been to a dance either. Well, of course, the Seven danced all the time. Jumpin’ Joe—Lord, I miss him—anyway, Joe would teach me some moves in the kitchen and then, when it was supposed to be lights out, I’d teach the others, and we’d dance and dance until, sure as shooting, that old bat Miss Webster would somehow get wind of it all and then…well, you know, she wasn’t all bad, I suppose someone had to impose discipline or we would have run riot. I see that now, most of the time I guess, and…” I was vaguely aware that I wasn’t making any sense. Truth was, I wasn’t really paying attention to anything I was saying because Mr. Doe kept inching closer.
What if his sweat got on my dress? Where was Cassidy? Why didn’t they play some Beatles music? “Can’t Buy Me Love” was my new favorite.
Sweaty, sweaty, sweaty.
God.
What was the matter with me? I couldn’t hang on to a single thought. There were so many things to think about. Big things, little things, sweat things. So much to look at. I ogled the dancers, who were still swaying to Frank Sinatra, only now the room was swaying with them. Whoa!
I turned back to Mr. Doe, but he was still a one-man geyser and it was making me nauseous, so I stared at his hands instead. Mistake. What hair Mr. Doe lacked on his head he made up for on his hands. Each fat, moist finger had this little tuft of fur on it. His wedding ring looked like it was cutting off his blood supply. The flesh on his finger spilled out above and below the ring.
Wow, that must hurt.
Laughter and the occasional squeal slid through the Sinatra. I was vaguely aware that the two couples sitting on the sofa opposite us were locked in a tight embrace, hands roaming. Like, in front of everyone and everything. I would have been scandalized, should have been, but it was like someone had thrown a soft, fluffy blanket over me, and, and…where was Cassidy?
Mr. Doe caught me watching the grappling couples. He launched a hairy, sweat-soaked arm around me and drew me closer. “Come here, honey.” He jutted his chins at the embracing couples. “I bet they got you in the mood, huh?”
Huh? What mood? What was he doing? He was sweating all over my dress. Slowly, and much too late, alarm bells started clanging in my head. Oh no. I tried to pull back. Couldn’t. His grip was too strong.
“Mr. Doe, please!”
“Oh cut the act, honey. Marcetti promised me a good time, and I’m ready to collect.”
Mr. Marcetti? I didn’t understand. I searched the room for Cassidy. I had to leave, but the sheer bulk of Mr. Doe had me pinned against the back of the sofa. My head cleared in the space of a heartbeat, making room for the panic to take hold.
“Where is she?”
Who was that? Cassidy?
“Come here, baby.” John Doe took his big, fat, wet hand and grabbed my jaw, turning my face toward his.
No.
“I said, where is she?”
He pulled me in closer. The invisible fluffy blanket was stripped off and I was present. I could feel the breath from his nostrils on my face. He reeked of scotch and decay.
Not like this. Please God, no!
“Toni, you here? Toni!”
He forced my mouth open and put his wet, slippery lips on mine. I almost threw up. NO! His right hand shoved the back of my head into his face so I couldn’t turn away. His left hand found my knee and then my thigh…The horror of what was happening flooded but did not paralyze me. I somehow found my shoe, grabbed it and smashed Mr. John Doe on the back of his head with my kitten heel.
“Ow! What the…?”
“Toni!”
Ethan had somehow appeared at the sofa. Was I hallucinating?
“Get lost, kid!” Mr. Doe snarled.
More kerfuffle. Ethan was here! Ethan! I was giddy with relief.
I popped up and was yanked right back down. Ethan leaned over to Mr. Doe. “Look, bud, she’s a minor and the cops are coming.”
Mr. Doe let go of me like I was infected.
The couple across from us disentangled. “Cops?”
“Yeah.” Ethan turned and yelled, “Hey, everybody, quick, clear out! The cops are coming!”
Instant chaos. The girls shrieked, and the men reached for their ties and shoes before they headed for the door. Mr. Marcetti shouted at everybody to calm down. Then, pointing to Ethan from across the penthouse, he yelled to his guys wearing the sunglasses. “Get him!”
But there was too much confusion, too much shrieking, too many bodies stampeding in the way.
“Toni, over here!” It was Cassidy. My Cassidy, nobody’s Cassidy. What had he done to me? Why? We locked eyes. He looked disheveled, pained. “Now!” He waved us both over. “At the back of the kitchen there’s a service elevator. Let’s go!” He took off for the far end of the penthouse. Ethan grabbed my hand and we followed. I glanced back. Fear and confusion were escalating in the rest of the place. Distraught partygoers were converging on the entrance despite Mr. Marcetti’s men trying to turn them back.
Cassidy led us through the kitchen. We startled a couple of caterers. “To the left!” We veered left to a small back hallway and a couple of doors. “Go through the black door. There’s an elevator to the garage.”
“Cassidy?”
“I’m sorry, Toni, I’m sorry. If it helps, I’m done for here. I’m out. God, Toni, please, I’m…” He reached for me, but Ethan pulled me away.
“Hands off, jerk!”
Cassidy shook his head. “Go!”
The elevator went straight to the garage, but we had to run all around the garage to find the doors and then figure out how to open them. Finally, we broke free. As soon as we got outside, we took off again. I wasn’t doing so great with my one kitten heel, but Ethan never let go of me. We didn’t stop running until we got to Queen’s Park. Just when I thought I’d break in two, Ethan led us to one of the park benches. We both collapsed. It seemed like the longest night of my life, and it was only ten thirty.
What had just happened? How did it happen? I started to shake. Ethan turned to me. “Are you cold?”
“No,” I whispered. “No.”
“Toni, are you okay?”
Did I shrug while I shook? Stupid, stupid girl.
I was gulping down shame in batches so sticky that I couldn’t free the words to thank him. I couldn’t even look at him.
“Toni, say something, please.” His voice was soft, no longer out of breath. “Did he hurt you?”
Did he hurt me? No, but I was hurt. “How did you find me?”
“Big Bob hit the roof!” He shook his head. “I mean, he totally blew up. Thank God you told Grady it was a Marcetti party. Grady didn’t know what that meant, but Big Bob sure did.” Ethan leaned forward. “Look, apparently the guy is notorious for these kinds of parties, for bringing in pretty paid companions or party girls. One of the guys in the band said that Cassidy is one of his, uh, purveyors. He finds girls for Marcetti.”
Thank God it was so dark. Thank God he couldn’t see me. Thank God I couldn’t see me.
“Big Bob was heading straight for the door when Grady convinced him to call me. See, if Big Bob turned up, it would signal a club war, and Marcetti is connected big-time. It all happened within ten minutes.”
I stared at the grass and kicked off my lone shoe. “But you called the police, right? They’ll shut it down, right?”
Ethan shook his head. “I didn’t call them, Toni. That was a Hail Mary pass on my part. When I say Marcetti is connected, I mean connected. The police may or may not have helped, depending on who responded.” He stood up. “He’ll have to lay low for a spell and regroup, but he’s a cockroach. Indestructible. We better get going.” He extended his hands. “If we’re not back by eleven, Big Bob and some guys from the club are going to come after us.”
“For me? Oh God, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry and stupid and just so…sorry. I thought Cassidy liked me. I don’t deserve to breathe.” I wanted to crawl into a ditch.
“No, Toni, no. You’re just…sweet and trusting and maybe a little naïve. It’s not a bad thing.” He held my hands. “But I need to know if that man hurt you.”
I deserved it. I must have deserved it for being so stupid and blind and…
“Toni, did he hurt you?”
“Why?”
“Because I’ll go back and kill him is why.”
I held myself and started rocking. “No, not really, no…but…” The kiss, that slobbering, vile, open mouth, the smell and the sweat, all that sweat. I lost it.
I wailed so loud that I scared the squirrels.
“What? Toni, what is it? What happened to you?” Ethan held my arms. “Tell me!”
“He kissed me! I’ve been waiting my whole life for my first kiss, my whole life, and he kissed me! I dreamed and dreamed and the…” I started hiccupping. More punishment. I was in a full-on ugly cry that was now accompanied by embarrassing hiccups. “I’m going to be seventeen hic in a couple of weeks and hic I’d never ever been kissed! And I dreamed…And it was him! How hic pathetic is that?”
“Oh Toni, shhh…it’s okay.” Ethan cupped my face in his hands and wiped away my tears as I continued hiccupping. “I should have done this the moment I saw you. God knows I wanted to. My mistake.” He leaned down and tilted my head upward. He kissed my forehead and a part of me calmed down. But another part lit up.
“But…hic.”
“Shhh.” He kissed my cheek as soft as a whisper and then the other cheek. Even though it was night, Ethan still smelled of sunlight and coffee.
“May I kiss you, Antoinette Royce?”
I felt his heart beating against my hand. Did I nod as I hiccuped? I wanted to shout, “Yes, yes, and hurry!”
He pulled me into him and wrapped his arms around me, and then Ethan Goldman’s lips touched mine. It started gentle and sweet, like kissing velvet. And then he drew me closer. A soft moan escaped from deep within him—or was that me? We fit perfectly. And then he kissed me harder, and then it was even better, and then he didn’t stop. And then I couldn’t breathe, and it didn’t matter. And then I stopped hiccupping.
And then I kissed Ethan Goldman back.