Oh I wake up and have the day and what do I want to do with it? I will go catch a pony and ride it. I can take something for me and the pony to eat in a bag so I can stay gone all day. I might get Jo Jo to ride with me. But I think she has ballerina lessons today.
I myself can dance.
I need to get up and eat what I smell. The oven door squeaks and she’s holding soft round biscuits.
I got the clothes that I wore yesterday at the foot of the bed so I can change under the covers. It is not necessary to be cold so early. Just so my underwear is clean is all I care about today. By supper I will smell like pony all over.
Maybe nobody else has thought about riding that pony Dolphin today. One thing about here is that you have to wait your go. Today is my turn if I am the first one to get to the breakfast table.
My hair will smooth down without a comb. I look good as long as you don’t see me from the back.
I feel good at the table with the biscuits. All that is cold is my hands. I hold them over the biscuit tin until my new mama tells me in a nice way that I am rude. So I sit on my hands until the biscuits are cool enough to hold. The others come in one by one or two but they see I was here first and will get the first biscuit and the pony.
I do not want to watch them anymore. What one can hardly wait to say to the other is making them squirm.
What did you expect? Marry trash and see what comes of you. I could have told anybody.
Here I am wearing this red checked suit like a little fool. When the day’s over I’ll burn it. I know my aunt Nadine wants to come back in here and fix me up. She gave me this outfit like she bought it just for me but I saw her girl Dora get her school picture taken in it last week. I do not have much choice but to wear it. In a while I’ll be grown out of my underwear.
But that is OK by me. Just do not let that woman knock on the door and ask me how am I getting along in here. I ought to stuff my front and walk out with a sudden big chest. Give them something to see and discuss. Not just speculation.
Dora’s mama thinks it is time to get this show on the road. She could not organize a two-car colored funeral so she has herself all worked up over this affair.
Stick the fruit delight and the food that’ll go to the bad in the fridge. Fridge she says.
She’s moving my way. I tell her I was just on my way out when she gets here. She will need a little privacy to adjust her slip and face. She wants to look especially good because she has elected herself to ride in the big car.
Oh yes and now we are all ready. My daddy wonders if I plan to tell somebody the whole story. I do not know if there is a written down rule against what he did but if it is not a crime it must be a sin. It is one way or the other. And he wants to know if I’m telling.
My aunt sashays her large self out of the toilet and I suppose now we line up to go. She must have gone to school to learn how to get grown folks into little bunches and decide who rides behind who.
Won’t she be disappointed when we get there and they put her away and we come home and that is all? She will go back to her house tired but not too tired to think about how smoothly everything went.
You are definitely in the first car, she tells me. Just so I got a ride there is all.
The undertaker opens the car door for me. He has been to the house twice since Sunday just to say he cares. I am glad he cares but I think I would like him better if he said it is my job to care. I make more money than you will ever see just to care. That would not offend me.
I do hate to sit in between folks in a car. Put me by the window so I can get some air and get out quick if I need to. I demand to ride by the window in this car that is big enough to hold the smiling undertaker, Dora’s mama, Dora, my daddy, and me.
The other children know the pony is not specifically mine but they let me play like he is mine.
After I eat all I can hold I ask for some maybe just two more biscuits to take with me please. The pony and me would both enjoy a biscuit with some fried meat and jelly. That is what we will eat for lunch. I have my thermos and my sack ready to fill up.
I keep calling things mine but nothing actually belongs to me except a few things that I moved out here with. But while you use or play with the things here it is OK to call it yours. When you get through with something, clean it up and put it back so the next one can call it his. That is the rule.
I have my lunch and I am dressed warm and ready to go.
And away I leave the house and my new mama standing at the kitchen window watching me run across the yard to the pasture.
I need to roll down the car window and stick out my face. Dora is used to her mama’s scent and my daddy is past smelling. The smiling man is too kind to remark.
He just drives slow down the path dodging the holes and the wide washed-out places. He will need to wash this big car before he picks up the next load of strangers.
When I get out I want to count the tires.
Having sidled herself up beside the smiling man, Dora’s mama searches for just the right thing to say. The man will think how wonderful she is and maybe find a job for her.
What a lovely day! She decides on this.
And I look at the back of her neck and think to myself my mama is dead in the church, my daddy is a monster, your girl is probably going to pee on me before this ride is over and that is all you can find to say.
I just see out the window all the folks’ houses and barns and dogs running in the yards. You cannot help but notice everything because he drives so slow.
The leaves are starting to change good. Every year I want all the leaves to be fall-colored at the same time but there are always some that don’t match.
I know this is the best time of the year. The leaves and people too changing and doing things to get ready. I like to read about men and their boys who tap maple trees in New England. They wear plaid jackets and hats with ear flaps when they go to the woods to get the syrup. It does not get cold enough to do that here even in January.
That tree in Junior’s yard is redder than it was yesterday. When it looks so red it could explode on fire and burn down Junior’s house and barns and everything in them the leaves fall off the tree. Junior’s girl Trixie sweeps the leaves into a pile and they rot. That is all until the next year.
My aunt is entertaining the smiling man. That is her part-time job. When she is not redecorating or shopping with Dora she demonstrates food slicers in your home.
She will bring her plastic machine into your living room and set the whole business up on a card table. After everybody plays two or three made-up games she lets you in on the Convenience Secret of the Century. She will tell you how much it would run you in the store. If the smiling man has a wife he can expect my aunt and her machine in his living room sometime soon.
Then on she will go about sorrow and sin and how is Ellen ever going to make out? Pretty soon she catches onto the sound of what she is saying and she pulls one word out to meet the next and once every sentence or so she will clap.
I hope the wise woman thought to bring her child an extra set of clothes.
Dora has soaked the seat of this car. My daddy is not aware of this but I am so I slide closer to the window to put some space between this red suit and Dora. Old as me and wets herself once or twice a day. I know they expect this dress back dry. Dora’s mama would stand beside Dora dripping and deny her big girl wet herself.
You are right, Aunt Nadine. I promise never to pee in your girl’s pants again.
She talks still but at least I can breathe with my nose outside. I could not ride like this for very long.
Dora wants to know if the smiling man will stop and get her a snack. Her mama tells her to hush little one but I could shut her up for good.