I will give you a dollar is what I told Starletta’s mama when she let me in the door. I do not care for the extras like food or the toilet. I know this is not a hotel.
She wanted to know what was wrong at my house.
That is funny to me.
I told her I got myself locked out just by accident and as soon as it is light I will head on back.
Her mama said I was welcome and to put my money up that they do not take money from children.
Since her husband was gone to look after his mama in the hospital I could sleep in the bed with her.
Starletta was rooted in good on her cot.
When I got up in the morning I was surprised because it did not feel like I had slept in a colored house. I cannot say I officially slept in the bed because I stayed in my coat on top of the covers.
I went on home and waited on the edge of the woods until I saw them all leave in the truck. I went in the house and then loaded up everything I damn well please in a box. All that was left to pay the bills and a bag of old nickels he kept hid where I had to crawl up to reach. I got two changes of clothes and put my Christmas presents in the box. It looked like the colored men had played with my microscope but they did not break it.
And what else do you take when you leave a place you never will come back to not even if you forget something very precious to you? You will just have to live without it.
Then there is personal hygiene. A toothbrush and a hair comb and towels in case you have to supply your own. To be sure they will have sheets for the bed.
Then there is where to go.
Get it right before you get on the telephone. You do not want to sound like a fool.
Hello. This is Ellen. I’m fine. I was wondering if
Hello. This is Ellen. I’m fine. How are you? I was wondering if I could come stay with you. Is this weekend OK? Do you think you could come and pick me up now?
I get lucky on the first try.
My mama’s sister Betsy says sure you can come.
I tried her first because she has a recently dead husband and could use some company. I am sure.
It will be nice to have a girl around, she says.
That is sweet. Music to my ears.
You better pick me up at the store near my house. You know where that is? Our path is washed out.
And I am on my way.
What do you want to do this weekend? she asks me in the car.
Do you have a bathtub? I hope I picked somebody with a bathtub.
Why yes I do, she says.
I already know she has a nice house. It is yellow and has flowers growed all up on the mailbox if I am not confused.
I cannot think of what all I would like to do. This is all happening so fast.
She settles me in the house and we go shopping in town. It is a different town. She keeps saying she has always wanted a girl to buy for.
She did not have any babies. Not a one.
We shop and buy a dress that suits me fine and more little things than I can think of. My favorite was a pair of gloves with a sequin cat sewed across the hands. I cannot play in them but they are good to look at.
All afternoon and night and on into the next day is like magic. I do not think of anything but the flowers on the sheets and the bubbles in the bath water.
This is the life.
All day Sunday we just lounge around the house. Aunt Betsy spends right much time on the couch looking at magazines with stars in them. She just smiles and tells me to make myself right at home.
Which I do. Looking in the dresser drawers. Fingering the what-nots. Generally getting to know the place.
She just keeps saying for me to make myself right at home.
It is good to have somebody around like that.
Then she wants to know who is coming to take me back.
She must have forgot.
Take me back where? I wonder.
Home, she says.
I say I told you I wanted to come stay with you and you said fine. Now I am here and I got all my stuff that I brought from the other place back in the bedroom closet.
She says no and laughs at the same time. I meant you could stay for the weekend and then go back to your own home.
Really?
What did you think I meant?
That I could come stay with you.
Well I’m sorry for the misunderstanding.
Me too.
Good. Let’s just take you back and you can come again another time.
My new mama grocery-shops every Saturday night. She tells one of the big girls to look after the baby boy and then she is off. I go with her sometimes just to get out of the house. If you get your coat and hat on and stand by the door you can usually go.
But if you go you better help.
She will not let more than three of us go at one time because that spells trouble. She took the baby one time and came home frustrated and touchy. It is hard to shop with somebody in the way. I took Starletta with me one time and found that out for my own self.
She goes at night to miss the crowd. That is good because you do not have people breathing down your neck for you to make your meat or fruit selection. It is also good because they slash the prices on the fancy baked goods.
I almost died when I saw all the froze food in this store. Way way more than in my old store. Here you could get every meal of the day froze on a plate. Breakfast. Lunch. Not just supper. Pancakes. Patty sausages. Link sausages. Hamburger meat already in the bun.
I tried to get my new mama to buy some of it but she said it was cheaper and better nutrition to make food from scratch.
But it is not easier.
She never runs out of money at the store. No matter how many bags she has she does not have to put a thing back to get next time. She pays the way I like. Cash on the barrel head.
Riding home in the car with all the food you feature how it will look and smell cooked. Chicken does not look like much raw but wait till you fry it. Then it melts in the mouth.
She promises to fry the chicken for Sunday lunch but only if I help.
Oh yes.
And please what about some sweet corn and potatoes or if you do not have any corn what about some peas? Does that sound good to you?
That sounds fine. But only if you help me.
Oh yes.
Aunt Betsy lets me off at the end of the path just like I ask and I walk the rest of the way to the house.
I will just have to lock myself up is what I thought. If I have to stay here I can lock myself up. Push the chair up to the door and keep something in there to hit with just in case.
I forgot sometimes and he got to me but I got him away from me pretty soon. If you push him down you have some time to run before he can get his ugly self up. He might grab and swat but that is all he can do if you are quick.
It would have been OK if he had left me alone to begin with but he got confused. Sometimes he would come stand outside my closet door just to tease me. Talking to me all about my mama’s little ninnies.
You got girl ninnies he might say.
I became the champion of not breathing or blinking to be heard. Somebody else calling out sugar blossom britches might sound sweet but it was nasty from him. He could make anything into trash.
The first day back at school my teacher noticed a bruise he put on my arm and they all had a field day over it in the school nurse’s office. Calling in everybody but the janitor to come in and take a look at it. I had rather nobody saw my business.
The teacher said she was fascinated by me and my bruise and just had to hear more. She had been watching me close ever since I would not tell her about my mama.
She asked me how it all happened so I told her my daddy put the squeeze on me and that is how it happened. She was shocked but I told her I was used to it so do not get in a uproar over it. You live with something long enough and you get used to it. Like smelling the inside of Starletta’s house.
She asked me if I had somewhere to spend the night.
Of course! I live in a house just like everybody!
No honey. Not your house. Let’s call somebody to come pick you up and I’II take care of getting your things from your house.
That sounds good to me but I already tried it one time.
Who do you know to call? she wants to know.
All I can think of is Starletta and her mama and daddy but you have to call the store for somebody to give them the message.
Isn’t Starletta your little colored friend?
You could tell by the way she said colored that this would not do.
She’s it, I say.
I would feel foolish calling up Dora’s mama or my mama’s mama and I have already worn out my welcome at Aunt Betsy’s.
The teacher says everything is OK and she will make the necessary arrangements.
That sounds good. Maybe she will have better luck than me is what I thought.
My art class teacher had been standing over to the side and not saying anything. I did not know her good but she liked the way I do art.
She got the teacher and the principal by the sleeve and said to have a word or two in the hall. When they came back in they said they had decided what to do with me.
It is about time I thought. Yes Lord it is about time.