The parking sensor squealed as the bumper edged closer to the wall, echoing the tension that bounced around my body.
It had been an uneasy five minutes since I’d climbed into the car. As hard as I’d tried, I couldn’t find a way to backtrack and apologize, so instead I sat there like a petulant kid, feeling Dad’s eyes on me as he tried to work out who’d kidnapped the daughter he thought he had.
When we got out of the car, he noticed properly my odd wardrobe choice.
‘I’ve not seen that shirt for a while. Looks … er … well, it looks better on you than me, that’s for sure.’
I grabbed at my damaged arm, paranoid that he’d seen the real reason for me wearing it.
‘Yeah, sorry. I’m a bit behind on the washing.’
Lame, my head told me, that is so lame.
‘Not exactly ideal for this weather, though, is it? Look at you, you’re dripping.’ His hand reached for the sweat on my forehead, but I batted it away, grimacing at the sudden movement.
‘No, it’s fine. It’s not the shirt. I’ve woken up with a bit of a temperature, that’s all. Must be with end of term coming up. Bit knackered, I think.’ I shuffled away from him, far enough for him to know not to touch.
‘I didn’t realize you had so few clothes, Daisy. If it’s difficult keeping stuff clean, we could always go out and get some more.’
The thought of bleeding on clothes that weren’t even mine freaked me out. ‘There’s no need, honest.’
‘Well, all you have to do is ask. There’s no need to be covering yourself in my rags in this heat.’
He chose to leave it there, and I could hear the cogs turning as he tried to find a new line of conversation.
We ambled down the street, my eyes rarely leaving the floor. The exertion of lifting my head seemed too much, and the sweat continued to pour off me, leaving me thirsty and leaden-limbed.
It wasn’t until we arrived at our destination that I realized how weary I was, as I’d failed to notice we were at the Ritzy.
We’d done the same walk from the car park dozens of times in the past and I’d always felt this brilliant, growing excitement as the neon sign came into view.
Today, though, nothing but fear.
‘I know we can’t do a lot of talking while we’re in there, but afterwards we can chat about whatever you like. You know, Mum and that.’
I didn’t know where to start, or even if I could. I just wanted to crawl into a ball.
‘Look,’ he began, ‘I know things have been a bit bumpy the last few weeks, and I know the bumps have all been down to me …’
I tried to interrupt, but for a man not used to talking about how he felt, he was suddenly on a roll.
‘It’s true I’ve been ignoring you and the stuff you need to know, so starting today, I’m going to change. I know I’ve got to, because it’s not been fair. I’m sorry, Dais, really I am.’
It was so hard to stand there and listen to him talk like that, because it wasn’t his way and because, in my head, he had nothing to apologize for. After all, I was the one who’d taken Mum away from him in the first place. I should’ve been apologizing to him.
I started to formulate the words in my head, but they were nowhere near my lips before he went on.
‘So I know today is Mum’s day, but in a way it’s not. It’s all about you. Whatever it is you want, or anything you need to know, today, it’s yours. You understand?’
The words jarred in my ears. It wasn’t what I deserved.
‘You got the present, didn’t you?’ he asked eagerly. ‘The thing I left on the kitchen table?’
I nodded, tears of shame pricking behind my eyes.
‘Did you like it? It was the right one, wasn’t it?’ There was almost a pleading to his voice. Why was he trying so hard when I was the one at fault?
‘I love it, Dad, but maybe you should take it back.’
He looked stunned. ‘Take it back? Why would I do that?’
‘It’s not like it’s my birthday or anything. And it must have cost a fortune.’
‘Don’t you be worrying about what it cost. You’ve wanted it for ages, and if it puts a smile back on your face it’s got to be worth every penny.’
I forced a grin, the goofiest one I had left, but I had no idea if it looked even remotely genuine.
We paused by the entrance and I scanned the schedules to see what we were going to watch. But there was nothing on.
The earliest matinee didn’t start until two thirty, leaving us a couple of hours early.
It didn’t seem to bother Dad, though, who hadn’t broken stride. Instead he stood at the door, holding it open in a weird theatrical pose that served only to make me feel more uncomfortable.
‘What’s going on?’ I asked as I dragged my heels up the steps towards him. ‘There’s nothing on for ages. Don’t you want to go and have a walk first or something?’
Could I really tell him? About the report or my arms or Hobson or any of it?
‘Why would I want to go for a walk? Me and you are going to spend a couple of hours with some old friends instead.’
I stopped as I reached him, too nervous for some reason to walk inside.
‘Go on,’ he said, prodding me in the back. ‘What are you waiting for?’
It was empty in the foyer, and pretty dark, and for a second I was on the path, beneath the bridge, with Mr Hobson in my ear instead of my dad.
It took another gentle push from behind to persuade me to go further, one push too many.
‘Why are you shoving me like that?’ There was a mixture of anger and fear in my voice, enough for Dad to pick up on.
‘Whoa, sorry.’ His eyes were wide with surprise, and he immediately removed his hand from the small of my back. ‘It’s just, well, I’ve never had to force you into a cinema before.’
‘That’s because you’ve never got me to bunk off before to a cinema where there’s nothing showing. What’s going on?’ The sweat was really starting to pool on my face now, and I could feel my heart motor, sending shockwaves to my brain.
‘There’s nothing going on. Just be patient and trust me, will you?’
He led me through the empty foyer and up the stairs to the screens, leaving me none the wiser. He hadn’t stopped for tickets (not that there was anyone in the box office). Instead he opened the double doors to the main auditorium and shepherded me inside.
It was empty and dark, save for the faint red glow on the screen. Not even a hum of music in the background to take the edge off the eeriness, which was messing increasingly with my head.
I felt Dad take my hand and steer me down the aisle to the front row, and there in the middle of it was a small table on which stood two large mugs of tea and a packet of Rich Tea biscuits.
‘Take a pew,’ he grinned, the yellow-white of his teeth guiding me to my seat.
I welcomed the sit-down to be honest, as the racing of my heart had started my legs shaking. I was on the edge of the fear now and hadn’t a clue how to deal with it with anyone else around, especially Dad.
‘I gave a lot of thought to what we could come and watch today,’ he crowed, obviously proud of what he was about to unveil. ‘But none of the new releases were really cutting it. In fact I decided there was only one film that was good enough for you today, so here it is.’
He lifted his head to the shadows at the back of the auditorium and waved quickly, before sitting next to me, his hand snaking into mine.
‘I’m so sorry I’ve let you down,’ he whispered, although I had no idea why. After all, we had the whole place to ourselves. ‘I hope this begins to show you that I want to put everything right.’
I had no time to answer before the last of the lights disappeared, followed by a raucous fanfare as the studio logo swam into view. The second I saw the opening credit, I knew what he’d done, and the sheer kindness of it was enough for the fear to engulf me.