News of my collapse called an end to hostilities downstairs. In fact in the half-hour it took to get a doctor to me, I had visits from everyone on site. Even Jimmy got off his phone long enough to poke his head round the door. He wasn’t being nosy or anything, he just told me to ‘chill’ before disappearing.
The others, however, would’ve sat on the bed and watched had Ade let them.
‘This is not a reality programme,’ she told Naomi and Susie. ‘There is nothing for you to see and no way for you to help, so let us settle Daisy down, OK?’
Susie apologized repeatedly as she scampered through the door, while Naomi rolled her eyes and stomped away.
‘Have I upset her?’ I asked through clenched teeth.
‘No, no, no. You must not worry about Naomi. Her nose is just a little out of joint with you arriving, that is all.’
There was something so calming about the way she spoke. There was a strong African accent through her words, but they rose and fell so gently that it was like listening to a ticking clock, somehow mesmeric.
The minutes passed slowly, each one bringing a new level of pain with it like an unwelcome present. Ade didn’t move, despite her uncomfortable position, her hands stroking my hair gently. I allowed my eyes to close and dream that they belonged to Dad or, even better, Mum.
The serenity was broken by the arrival of the doctor, who looked less than impressed at being called out. She wore the look of a woman who’d been called here once too often.
She didn’t give me much of a once-over, didn’t even get down to floor level to prod me or see what hurt. She simply reached for her mobile phone and told Ade she was calling an ambulance.
‘Quite why they discharged her so soon I don’t know.’
She’d obviously been given the background on the way up the stairs.
‘Are you not going to come down here and speak to this girl?’
It was the first time I’d heard ice in Ade’s voice, but it was definitely there and the doctor heard it. What’s more, she didn’t like it.
‘I don’t think that will be necessary. I can see from her convulsions that she should be in hospital. This is not the place for her to be right now.’
Ade disagreed. ‘Oh, I think this is the perfect place for her to be, as it is only hours since she arrived.’
The doctor looked around the room, the creases on her forehead telling us both what she thought of the place.
‘If you are a doctor – and obviously you are, if you know better than me – then why did you bother calling me out?’
Ade let out a small giggle and shook her head slowly. ‘Oh, I am not a doctor. Far from it. But I do know that I have read this girl’s notes and I am wondering if that is the case with you.’
The doctor shoved a hand in her pocket as if searching for something. It was a tic that Ade also noticed.
‘You will not find her file there. It is downstairs in the office, where I left it.’
‘Look,’ said the doctor, ‘I’m not a psychologist. I’m a GP. I don’t need to read a file to know that this girl is in enough pain to need my help. Now, are you going to let me do my job or not?’
‘If that means you taking her back to hospital, then I am not. What I will let you do is give her the medication she needs to take these pains away.’
The doctor bristled, then set Ade a challenge.
‘I suppose you can tell me exactly what I should be prescribing to her as well.’
‘Of course, because I have read her file and know that for the past four days she has been taking haloperidol, an antipsychotic medication, and that she has not been given anything to guard against the side effects. That is why she is having these muscle spasms.’
The doctor took a step forward and looked closer than she had before. Ade didn’t give her too much time before continuing.
‘So I would imagine a small dose of Valium would alleviate these immediate problems, followed by a prescription for procyclidine to prevent the muscle contraction returning.’
The doctor got on her knees and tried to straighten my neck away from my shoulder. I shrieked as she did so and pushed my hand into Ade’s.
‘Can I see the medication she has been taking?’ the doctor asked. She said this without looking Ade in the eye.
It didn’t take Maya long to return with it, by which time the doctor had checked my pulse, blood pressure and tried to flex every limb in my body.
After looking at the label, she stood up and retrieved her bag from the door. She pulled out a small brown bottle, then scooted back to me. For the first time, it felt like she was actually looking at me.
‘I am going to give you a relaxant, Daisy, because it is more than likely that these spasms you are experiencing are a result of your medication. Alongside this, you should stop taking your other tablets until a psychiatrist can look at how to balance them properly.’ She smiled weakly, almost apologetically, before turning to Ade, her smile disappearing. ‘But if the contortions do not ease within an hour, then we will have no option but to stabilize Daisy in hospital.’
She slid the tablets into Ade’s hand before standing up and shooting me a final look. It was a mixture of sympathy and pity. ‘Get yourself well, my dear,’ she said, and then she left.
They didn’t waste any time getting me to take the pills and I believed 100 per cent that they would work. After Ade’s confidence in front of the doctor, how could I think anything else?
She stayed with me on the floor for about fifteen minutes until very gradually my neck began to straighten. It was like someone was slowly ironing the kinks out of my back and by the time the sensation reached the bottom of my spine I was in love with these drugs. I felt like a giant – like I could clean the cobwebs from the ceiling with a flick of my wrist.
The relief was so strong that I forgot everything else, what I’d done, who I’d lost, everything. I wanted to sing and dance and hug everyone in the building. The relief took me over.
Wedging my elbows into the floor, I pushed myself upright, relishing the return of my limbs. Ade straightened her legs as well, jiggling the blood through them after her own inactivity.
‘Don’t overdo it, Daisy,’ she warned. ‘The tablets will make you feel very tired.’
I didn’t bother listening. I felt like I could climb a mountain or run a marathon. But the second I actually planted my feet on the floor I felt my balance waver, as my feet forgot how to hold me upright. I toppled backwards, but not far, as again Ade was there, wrapping her arms around me, pulling me across the room and on to the bed.
She yanked the shoes from my feet and pulled the duvet up to my chest.
My eyelids drooped as the drugs buzzed through every cell in my body. I managed a woozy smile and ‘Thank you’. It was the best I could do.
The same girlish giggle came back from her, along with the shake of a head.
‘No, no, no, Daisy,’ she said. ‘I should be thanking you.’
I had no idea what she was talking about, but was too tired to argue. Instead I let my head sink into the pillow.
Sleep came quickly, within moments. But I knew as it gripped me that Ade was still in the room, because I heard her voice. Where her voice stopped, though, and my dream started, I wasn’t sure, because the last words I heard didn’t make any sense at all.
‘I should be thanking you, Daisy Houghton. You are my lucky charm.’