It was well past two in the afternoon when we got back to Bellfield and I was whacked. Carrying my bag was all I could manage, so it was a relief when Ade grabbed the TV and DVD player. She paced on in front of me while I stumbled behind, wishing my room was on the ground floor.
As we reached the balcony I could see Patrick sat on it, swinging his legs and drawing heavily on his fag. He eyed the stash that Ade was carrying, his eyes narrowing as I approached.
‘Film nights in your room, then, yeah?’
He didn’t say it in a particularly sleazy way, but I felt my shoulders tense at the suggestion. There was no way he was watching anything with me.
Ade saw this and took it as an opportunity to give me a warning of my own.
‘You must not worry too much about Paddy,’ she said, her eyes holding a look I hadn’t seen before. ‘Like everyone here, he is vulnerable, and has lots of things to work through. It would be best to keep your room as your own private space.’ Her face softened a little, not wanting to freak me out. ‘We are here to make you feel safe. You understand that, don’t you?’
I nodded, but I wasn’t worried by Patrick. He wouldn’t be setting foot in our corridor, not without a fight.
My room looked less of a shell with stuff in it, but homely it wasn’t. Ade promised me some money to buy a duvet cover and throws, anything to cheer it up, but there seemed little point. Whenever I looked at the plastic windows I’d know I wasn’t home.
By the time I’d hung up my clothes I was ready to collapse, but Ade had other ideas.
‘No, no, no,’ she chivvied, ‘this is no time for sleep.’
I rolled on to my bed, cocooning myself in the duvet. ‘Just ten minutes.’
But she wouldn’t have it.
‘Daisy, it will soon be three o’clock.’
‘So?’
‘So that means we have to be downstairs in the lounge.’
‘Why?’
‘Because every day at three we all meet.’
I pulled my head from the duvet. I didn’t like the sound of this.
‘Who’s we?’
‘Everyone. All the others, and whoever is on shift.’
‘I don’t get it.’
‘We will both get it if we are not downstairs in two minutes. Come on!’
And without any warning she yanked the duvet from my back and pulled me to my feet. For a second I thought she was going to give me a fireman’s lift down the stairs, but she settled instead for prodding me down them.
We were the last people into the lounge, but by no means the most miserable there. Naomi and Patrick were sat at opposite ends of the room, wearing the biggest scowls imaginable.
There were four settees in there, saggy old four-seaters, and they had been arranged to form a large square about the size of a boxing ring. I wondered if they’d been set up like that so Naomi and Patrick could go at each other again. I shuddered at the thought.
Jimmy and Susie sat together on one settee, oblivious to the tension simmering between the other two. Jimmy was drumming his fingers against his knees, head bobbing and mouth singing a tune that only he could hear. Susie sat and gazed at him, her own head nodding, trying to pick up the rhythm he was creating.
Not wanting to be too close to any of them, I perched on the arm of the fourth settee. Ade flopped on to the cushion beside me.
No one was talking, not even the two staff members already there, who smiled at me without saying a word. We were obviously waiting for someone or something, but I had no idea what.
After another minute the door opened and a woman strolled in. At first I thought she’d taken a wrong turn, as she wasn’t dressed for this place. She was decked out in a power suit, all lapels and sharp creases.
Everyone sat forward, mouths falling open. And then Jimmy let out a long, slow wolf-whistle, dissolving a lot of the tension hanging in the air.
‘What’s this, Bex?’ Patrick shouted. ‘No one told me they changed the date of Halloween!’
Naturally, Naomi took exception to what he said and hurled a cushion in his direction. ‘Shut up, dickhead. Everything’s a joke to you, isn’t it?’
From there it was just another couple of insults until they were both on their feet, pacing towards each other, two carers apiece hanging off their arms.
What was it with this place? I couldn’t keep up with it or handle how volatile it constantly seemed to be.
Breathing deeply, I retrieved the tobacco from my pocket and busied my hands.
The chaos didn’t last long, as the new woman strode into the middle of the room, wedging herself between the pair of them. She was smaller by some distance, but there was an air about her, and with a single word and a pointed finger she put them firmly back in their boxes.
Her face was stern but not threatening, and as soon as peace was restored she softened, especially when her gaze landed on me.
‘Brilliant,’ she beamed as she pulled off her jacket, tossing it carelessly on the back of a settee. ‘Right, everyone, so sorry I’m late. Yet another meeting. I’m guessing I’m probably the only one to have not met her yet, but this is our new resident, Daisy Houghton.’
There were smiles and greetings from everyone, which made me feel self-conscious, picking nervously at the tobacco peeking out of my cigarette.
‘We’re delighted to have you here,’ she went on. ‘My name’s Bex and I’m apparently in charge of this place.’
Patrick of course saw this as the perfect opportunity for more insults, but everyone seemed to ignore him and Bex continued.
‘You’re probably wondering why everyone is here, and in part it’s to welcome you, but it’s also part of our daily routine. Monday to Friday, three o’clock, come hell or high water, we get together in here. We call it our “community meeting”. Sometimes we don’t talk much, sometimes we don’t shut up for forty-five minutes, but whichever it is, it has to happen. I suppose what I’m saying, Daisy, is that many things are optional here, but community meeting isn’t. And if you choose not to come then we’ll just come to you.’
‘They bloody do as well,’ moaned Naomi. ‘Everyone’s teacups are still in my room from last week.’
‘And strangely enough you’ve been here every day since,’ laughed Ade, sticking her tongue out at her.
‘Daisy, I don’t want to put you on the spot,’ said Bex, ‘but is there anything you wanted to say by way of introduction?’
I crinkled my nose and shook my head. Why would I do that? Did she think I was proud to be here?
She seemed fine with that. Patrick wasn’t, though.
‘She’s been a barrel of laughs since she arrived,’ he moaned. ‘Serious case of verbal diarrhoea, this one.’
Bex saw this as the perfect opportunity to turn her attention elsewhere, much to my relief.
‘That’s no problem, Daisy. Take all the time you need, and know that everyone, staff or resident, is here to help you.’ She turned to Patrick. ‘So, Paddy. As you’re so keen to talk today, maybe you can guide us through what went on last night?’
His chest swelled with pride, seeming to take pleasure in being the centre of attention. ‘What?’ he crowed. ‘What’s a few glasses of vodka between friends?’
‘Oh, I didn’t know about the vodka. I … er –’ and she looked to the rest of the staff in mock-surprise – ‘I don’t think any of us knew you’d been drinking, but we’ll be sure to have the vodka from your room straight after this.’
Patrick blushed a deep angry red.
‘What I’m talking about was what went on during dinner last night. Anyone care to fill me in?’
There was a rush of voices as Naomi, Patrick and even Susie all raced to get their points across. It was like listening to a bunch of pre-schoolers fighting for teacher’s attention.
Bex, to her credit, was patient with them, listening to their wildly varying stories, not smiling or laughing at the ridiculous lines they were coming out with. Floss and Ade weren’t quite so controlled, Floss hiding her face behind a cushion as Naomi wailed about how she’d been disrespected. You couldn’t see her face, but you could make out her shoulders shaking with laughter.
Once the witness statements had been made, Bex wasted no time in setting everyone straight, and although her words were direct, there was no sense of anger in any of them.
‘It sounds to me like everyone forgot the basic rule about what we’re trying to achieve here. It’s all about respecting people. Naomi, you know why you were given wooden cutlery – it’s something we’ve discussed here time and again. We can’t allow you to take knives from the kitchen and hurt yourself with them. We care about you too much to let that happen.’
Naomi stared at her, unblinking, but the way she sucked her teeth, her head tilted slightly to one side, showed she didn’t want to hear it.
Bex turned to Patrick, who was sat back, arms spread across the width of the settee. He was trying to look brave, but on his own on the four-seater he just looked lonely.
‘And as for you, Paddy … well, you need to consider your part in this too. Do you not think it would’ve been respectful to keep out of Naomi’s conversations? Don’t you think it might be difficult for her to see her privileges taken away? The last thing she needs is you crowing about it.’ She flicked her eyes between the two of them, before looking at the five of us in turn.
‘Daisy arriving is an important moment for us as a group, so let’s use it, shall we? Let’s focus these next few days and weeks on showing each other some respect. Try and help each other, not rip each other’s eyes out, yeah?’
There was a begrudging ‘yeah’ from the two of them, plus a more enthusiastic response from Susie, who looked less interested in Jimmy now and seemed more interested in hugging Bex.
Nothing further was said about the incident. In fact, as Bex took a seat next to Patrick, squeezing his hand warmly in the process, the tone of the meeting seemed to turn on its head and the next fifteen minutes were spent discussing the summer holidays that lay ahead.
It was so frantic, the pace at which things changed. Only minutes after the heated conversation ended, both Naomi and Patrick were getting excited about a trip that Maya was planning for the next week. And by the end of the meeting they had the whole of their holiday mapped out, with most of it being spent together.
It was head-spinning stuff. Stuff you couldn’t have made up. Not if you expected people outside the walls to believe it was true.