The couple opposite have brought a smile to my face and Jack says with interest, “You’re smiling.”
Leaning in, I whisper, “The couple that just walked in are so in love, it’s beautiful to see.”
“Who?”
Jack turns and takes a look and shakes his head. “Oh well, it takes all sorts, I suppose.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, they’re hardly in the first flush of youth, maybe this is their first holiday together and perhaps they have run away and left their husband and wife at home.”
“For goodness’ sake, Jack, why are you so cynical?”
He shrugs. “Years of people watching, probably.”
He looks past me and whispers, “There’s a couple who have it all worked out.”
I follow his eye and see the glamorous couple from the plane and stare with envy at the woman’s chiffon dress and silver hooped earrings. She looks immaculate and I note the perfectly manicured nails shining as she grips the stem of her wineglass. I feel quite scruffy in comparison and don’t like the way Jack’s gaze lingers on her just a fraction longer than necessary, although I’m having a hard time dragging my gaze from her husband, who is staring at her with adoration.
“They certainly look happy.”
Jack nods. “I saw her earlier, it looked as if she came out of the spa. Maybe we should check it out, have a couple’s massage or something, I think it’s all included.”
“Maybe.” I see the cogs turning as Jack looks at the couple and I feel uneasy. I hate it when he gets that look, like he’s planning something, and I wonder if he’s going to sign me up for something I wouldn’t enjoy. It wouldn’t be the first time after all, and I’m still trying to rid myself of the nightmare when he arranged scuba diving lessons, and I almost drowned. Then there was the white water rafting we foolishly went on and when our canoe capsized, I thought my time was up. Praying to God there are no dangerous activities at this hotel, I try to distract his attention.
“I’m looking forward to a relaxing day by the pool tomorrow.”
“Yes, you could use a tan, you look so pale.”
“And you don’t, I suppose.”
I feel annoyed, and he shrugs, “That couple have tans and I’m guessing they have more than one holiday a year. I would like that for us, once a year just isn’t enough.”
“We don’t have the money; things are hard enough without splashing out on holidays every few months.”
He looks annoyed. “Maybe if you got a better job we wouldn’t have to, honestly, Kim, it’s not as if you’re incapable and working as a hairdresser for a woman who pockets all the profits is quite sad when you think about it.”
Sometimes I really loathe my husband and this is one of those times and I snap, “Well, what do you suggest I do?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “Set up your own company, have a bit more ambition, take charge of your life instead of sitting back and expecting me to do it for you.”
“Jack!”
My voice is tight and furious. “You know why I work for Betty. I want to start a family and if I have my own business, I wouldn’t have the security being employed gives me.”
Jack actually rolls his eyes. “That again. Honestly, Kim, haven’t you given up on that pipe dream yet? It’s obvious we can’t have them, so get over it.”
He takes a sip of his beer and looks annoyed, and I don’t miss the way his eyes are drawn to the table behind me.
Luckily, our food arrives, distracting us from a full blown domestic, and I try to enjoy the fresh lobster salad with minted new potatoes. Jack appears to be brooding about something, and a feeling of unease settles inside me that just won’t go away. What’s happening to us? This marriage is dissolving like an aspirin in water, and I don’t know what to do about it.
After dinner, we head to the beach for a stroll and rather than holding my hand, Jack stares out to sea and I can tell something’s on his mind.
“Talk to me, Jack.”
“You wouldn’t like what I have to say.”
The fear starts to grow as I say tightly, “Tell me anyway.”
Stopping, he sighs and turns to face me and I hate the pity in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Kim, but I’ve been thinking for some time that maybe we need to call this a day.”
I just stare at him in shock because where the hell has this come from?
He sighs and stares out at the black sea with a brooding look. “I’ve been unhappy for a while now; this just isn’t working for me anymore.”
“Since when, you were more than happy earlier, if I remember rightly.”
“That was just sex, Kim, you know I’m always up for that, but outside of it, well, there’s not a lot there if I’m honest.”
His words strike a painful blow and I hate myself for allowing the tears to fall and turn away, not sure what to say without coming across as desperate.
He sighs heavily and says softly, “Listen, it’s been a long day and I’m not thinking straight. Maybe we need a few hours apart, to think on this. We’ve got a week to work it out and if at the end of it I still feel the same, we will start the ball rolling when we return. It’s up to you, babe, make a few life decisions and see if we can work out a way forward.”
He nods to the resort. “If you don’t mind, I’d like some time on my own, I’ll see you back at the room.”
He doesn’t even look at me and just starts walking away down the beach, and I stare after him in shock. He was so cruel, so emotionless. He destroyed my world in a few sentences and made out that he needed time to think.
I am fast discovering the world is a lonely place when you feel as if you’re the only one in it. I may be in paradise, but my soul is in hell because I have never felt pain like this. Jack wants a divorce, it’s obvious. He never actually said as much, but it was there in the fine print. I have exactly one week to turn this marriage around if I want to keep him. The trouble is, right at this moment in time, I’m not sure if I do.