I decide to head to my room after lunch for a siesta. I’m feeling quite tired and just hope Charles isn’t there and I can relax on my balcony and get some peace.
As I walk through the marbled hallway, I think back on a pleasant morning. Most surprising of all was Kim. I liked her. Just thinking of what I did with her husband makes me feel terrible and then to my horror, I see the man himself heading my way. I’m not sure what to do because despite the fact I regret what we did, he is still so incredibly attractive, I’m having a hard time doing the right thing in my mind.
He stops just short of me and smiles and just like that, my principles desert me in a haze of lust.
“Hi.”
“Hi.” I blush and he steps closer.
“It’s good to see you.”
“You too.”
He seems a little lost for words and then whispers, “I’m sorry about the other day, you know, in the town. I ignored you and I’m sorry about that but well, Kim, you know how it is.”
“It’s fine, I was in the same position.”
His gaze lingers for just a fraction and I see regret in his eyes as he says sadly, “I’m sorry things got a little out of hand in the lift, I hope you didn’t think badly of me.”
I’m surprised and shrug. “Don’t be - sorry that is, I loved every minute.”
He smiles and it sends a burst of heat through my entire body. For a moment we just stare at one another and I find myself gravitating towards him and I’m surprised when he steps back a little. The hurt must show on my face because he looks apologetic. “Listen, what happened in the lift was a mistake. A spur of the moment bad decision that I’ve felt guilty about ever since. I know you probably don’t believe me but I love my wife and never meant to hurt her. It’s just a good thing we never took it further, so let’s just put it behind us as a moment of craziness that got out of hand.”
“Excuse me!”
I stare at him in disbelief as he shrugs. “Listen, I’m sorry, it was one mistake, a kiss that should never have happened.”
“A kiss. Do you really expect me to think of it as just a kiss? We did a lot more than that Jack and for quite some time if I remember.”
“What are you talking about?” He looks surprised and I hiss. “Have you got amnesia or something? What about the gym, if I remember rightly, we did a lot more than kiss inside that cupboard? What’s the matter, Jack, do you have a selective memory, or just don’t want to admit to cheating on your wife twice in the same day?”
“Listen, I don’t know what your problem is but…”
“My problem.”
He steps away as I stare at him with fury blazing from my eyes. “We had sex, Jack and you enjoyed every minute of it judging by the sounds coming from you. Don’t try to deny it because I was there – remember.”
Jack looks worried and if anything, I feel used and snarl, “Just fuck off, Jack, guys like you make me sick inside. You got what you wanted and now you’re covering your tail. Get out of my way, I never want to see you again.”
I make to leave and his hand stops me and he says in disbelief, “It wasn’t me, Evelyn, I wasn’t near the gym that night. I argued with Kim and went for a walk, ending up in the bar.”
A cold feeling seeps through my veins as my world crashes and burns. Turning slowly, I look at him in horror and say weakly, “It wasn’t you?”
He looks worried. “I promise on my life, it wasn’t me, why do you think it was?”
Closing my eyes, the full horror of my situation hits me. If it wasn’t Jack, then who did I have sex with so violently in the cupboard that night?
Somehow, I break away and walk back to my room. Jack doesn’t try to stop me and I can’t even look him in the eye. As I walk, images of that night return to haunt me. The way he came at me from behind. The hand wrapping around my throat and the whispered husky voice. ‘You’re a naughty girl.’
I thought it was Jack. I thought it was what we had arranged. It didn’t even occur to me it could be anyone else.
Shame washes over me as I remember what I did. What he did because I made it easy for him. The thought of him inside me makes me choke back a sob. I was so incredibly stupid and allowed something to happen that is wrong on every level. I don’t doubt Jack for a second. The horror on his face told me everything I needed to know. My heart is racing out of control as I think about who it could have been. Was it Charles, did he follow me and punish me for daring to argue with him? He’s been on edge ever since we arrived, something’s definitely up with him and I can’t put my finger on it.
Frantically, I think of who else it could be. Someone who works here perhaps, another guest. Surely it wasn’t Chloe’s husband. He seems so nice, so normal. What about the creepy man I catch staring at me, making me feel uncomfortable under his gaze? A feeling of despair creeps through me as I realise I will probably never know. I doubt I’ll be able to look Charles in the eye, because what if it was him? He knows what I did and it would explain his altering mood and the looks he gave Kim. Maybe he saw me in the lift and somehow found out about our plan to meet. It can be the only explanation.
As soon as I reach the room, I’m grateful to find Charles missing. Quickly, I race to the shower and scrub my body hard. I know it’s too late, but I can’t shift the feeling of his hands on me. The rough way he handled my body and the pleasure it gave him. Thinking back, I was so stupid - I never saw his face. It all added to the mystery, the excitement, and I loved how forbidden it was. I had sex with a stranger – possibly. I feel so dirty, used, and like a cheap whore. Then again, I shouldn’t feel any different because in my mind I was unfaithful to my husband and loved every minute of it.
There is that moment when something so shocking happens it takes a moment for your brain to process the information. A few minutes grace while it works it all out, giving you time to sit and breathe. A shocked state of disbelief when the full horror of your situation doesn’t quite hit you yet, and that’s exactly how Charles finds me. Sitting on the bed, staring at nothing. Trying hard to piece back together the jagged pieces of a broken life.
I hear him come in but I don’t look up and he grumbles, “Well, that’s a morning I’m never getting back. You know, next time I would rather wrestle sharks than be bored out of my mind, stuck on a boat with the likes of them. Drinking beers and talking about sport, typical stereotypes. You know…”
Suddenly, he stops and I hear a terse, “What the fuck…”
His tone makes me look up and for the first time since I met him, I see Charles looking shell shocked. He has gone red and his breathing is all over the place. I almost think he’s having a heart attack as he makes a strange gurgling sound and I say fearfully, “What is it, Charles, what’s wrong?”
He holds up his hand and just stares at his phone and an uneasy feeling creeps over me. Does this involve me and what I’ve done, has someone told him, has he found out?
He says nothing and turns on his heel and heads for the door and I say fearfully, “Charles, you’re scaring me, what’s happened?”
“Not now, Evelyn, I can’t deal with you right now.”
He wrenches open the door and leaves, slamming it hard behind him and I’m left staring at the plain wood, feeling my heart rate increase to dangerous levels.
What’s happening?