Monitors were humming and lights blinking on various machines, but the centerpiece of the room was unmoving. I had to look twice to make sure the sheet over Molly’s chest was rising and falling rhythmically with her breath.
She appeared to be sleeping. But for a nasty bruise that stained the side of her face and forehead, she might have been dozing on her own couch.
Jared flinched and I felt palpable waves of dismay emanating from him. He was in more pain than Molly. Cautiously he moved forward, bent over the bed and placed his hand over her still one.
“Molly? Hey, it’s Jared. How are you doing, honey?”
His tone was so gentle that I felt my heart shattering.
“Sammi and I just got back from the Oasis. It was great, sweetie, really great. You’d better pull yourself together so I can take you and Sammi back there, okay?”
He pulled a chair up to her bedside and sat down. I took another and joined him. We sat there for what seemed like hours, Jared talking to Molly as if she heard and understood his every word. He told her stories about the spa, the food, the romance party and how we’d driven home together this morning. Remarkably, his voice was conversational, even, calm.
His face, however, belied his tone. His forehead was furrowed and a deep crease slashed itself between his eyebrows. The brackets around his mouth had grown deeply carved just since we had arrived. Still, he held Molly’s hand and spoke to her gently.
Geneva Hamilton entered, put her hand on her son’s shoulder and murmured, “I’d like to spend time with Molly, Jared. Why don’t you and Sammi visit with Ethan for a while?”
He nodded, gave his sister’s hand a squeeze and rose.
Outside the room he said, “I’ve read that sometimes people in that state can actually hear what’s going on around them. I don’t want anyone in there talking ‘about’ her and not ‘to’ her. What if she can hear? She would be so frightened….”
His family seemed in complete agreement without ever having discussed that strategy. I could hear Geneva telling Molly about the gardens at home. Then she began to unwind a long tale about the state of her tomatoes. She sounded as though Molly were sitting across from her listening intently.
Ethan met us outside the door to the family lounge. “Your parents haven’t eaten. They were just leaving church when they got the word….” Ethan bit his lip. “Do you want to take them downstairs for lunch?”
“I need to stay here. I want to talk to the doctor.” Jared’s voice was brusque and businesslike. “You and Sammi can take them.”
“I’ll stay here with you,” I offered.
“You haven’t eaten, either. Besides, my mother will like getting to know you.” He gave me a shadow of a smile. “It’s fine. I’m okay.”
Fine? Hah! But there was no arguing with him. Ethan shepherded us down to the nearly empty lunchroom in the bowels of the hospital.
Geneva sank into the chair Robert pulled out for her and gave a weary sigh.
“What can we do for you, Geneva?” Ethan asked. “For any of you?”
“It would be nice if you could keep my son’s head screwed on straight,” Robert Hamilton stated bluntly.
“Excuse me…” I began, but Ethan seemed to know exactly what the older man meant.
“He’s afraid Jared will get completely wrapped up in Molly’s situation to the exclusion of everything else.” Ethan looked at Geneva. “What is it you call the two of them?”
“Identical twins born eight and a half years and a gender apart,” she supplied. “Those two watched out for and protected each other as though they were joined at the hip. It’s quite remarkable, really, considering the age difference between them, but they’ve always been close.” Geneva’s eyes grew troubled. “It’s bad enough to have Molly in such a state. We don’t want to have to worry about Jared, too.”
“Worry about him?” I echoed.
The elder Hamilton took my hand. “How long have you known Jared, my dear?”
Long enough to fall in love with him.
“A few weeks.”
“Then there is still much you have to discover about my son—all of it good. One of the best and most difficult things about him is his capacity for love. It takes Jared a long time to give his heart to someone, but then there’s no getting it back.”
“We’re afraid,” Geneva continued, “that he’ll let go of everything and put all his energy into Molly’s situation.” She glanced timidly at her husband. “And the doctor said he had no idea how long it might be until Molly awakens. According to him, there are many levels of unconsciousness, from coma to obtundation and lethargy. A patient’s progress is measured by an increasing awareness of stimuli. When Molly begins to emerge, she’ll begin to respond to stimuli.”
And what if she doesn’t?
The horrible thought stung me. I thought of Jared bent over Molly’s bed. Suddenly the sweet normalcy and fragile regularity of our lives were tied to that one small frame in that large hospital bed.
Lord, what’s this about? Help this family! Put Your tender, protective, healing hand on Molly. And show me my place in all of this. Father, how can I be Your light and love for these people in this troubled time?
The atmosphere seemed to lighten as we ate and I was struck by what strong, gracious people the Hamiltons are. As soon as Molly improved, things would return to normal…normal. I closed my eyes and sighed.
“What is it?” Ethan asked.
“I just thought of something Jared and I were discussing before we heard about the accident, something about Molly. In passing, I mentioned that some of Molly’s short attention span and difficulty getting organized might be attributable to Attention Deficit Disorder. Jared, of course, began researching it on the computer this morning. He was concerned because Molly has so many of the symptoms of the disorder. If that were the case, he believes he would have handled their partnership differently, giving Molly more support in the areas she needed it. I hate to say it, but Jared was already feeling guilty over his sister before this happened.”
Ethan groaned but it was Geneva who spoke. “Jared’s standards for himself are higher than he holds for any other living being.”
“It’s why he’s so successful and so driven,” Robert added.
“And so unforgiving of himself,” Geneva concluded.
“I can just about hear what he’s thinking right now,” Ethan said. “‘If only I’d done this…or that…or paid more attention to what was going on with Molly….’”
In other words, what I loved about him might just be his downfall.